~*~Chapter 10~*~

~*~*~

The following year was a tough year for both Luhan and Minseok and Minseok’s parents. Luhan’s parents left Luhan while he was in school and they never came back to him. Minseok’s parents pitied Luhan for living alone so they let him live with them for a while.

Luhan was being depressed; both because of the fact that he couldn’t see Sehun anymore because of the medicines and the medicines also gave him horrible mood-swings as a side-effect.

Luhan remembers how he didn’t speak for Minseok for weeks after he had been diagnosed. All this meant for a new life and a lot of changes; both for Luhan and Minseok, who felt bad for Luhan. Minseok wanted to do anything to make Luhan feel better, but he felt like he failed and felt bad because of it. Luhan seemed to hate him now.

~*~*~

Luhan woke up by the morning sun that shone through the curtains and inside his room. Luhan had fallen asleep after he had finished it all with Jongin, it had been really tiring. Luhan remembers how he fell asleep on Jongin’s chest.

Luhan sat straight up in his bead and looked around in the room. He was all alone. Jongin was not sleeping next to him. Luhan flew out of the bed and looked around in the whole apartment but there was no sign of Jongin.

When Luhan stopped in front of the full-sized mirror he noticed that he still was wearing the clothes he wore the previous day. Which was strange; since Luhan could remember that he fell asleep .

A sudden thought hit Luhan in the head, something that made it crunch in his stomach.

What if Jongin wasn’t real? It was so hard for Luhan, how could he ever be able to tell the difference between reality and imagination?

~*~*~

Yixing decided to stay in the apartment during the night, he didn’t have anywhere to go so what should he do? But he didn’t want to sleep in the same bed with Kris so he slept on the couch.

Yixing planned to leave right in the morning, but he didn’t want to leave without his morning-coffee.

Kris entered the kitchen and studied how Yixing took a sip of his hot black coffee.

“I thought you already had left” Kris said and poured up the coffee in the white cup.

Yixing shook his head. “I just woke up, and I can’t leave without the coffee”

Kris chuckled. “Just to let you know, you’re not being fired from the café. I can’t mix my personal business with that. Plus it’s my fault you lost your job as a dancer”

Yixing drew for a relieved sigh. He was sure that he would’ve been fired.

“Thanks” Yixing said.

Kris shrugged. “What are friends for?”

Yixing shook his head, he had no idea. Maybe they could still stay friends after all this.

“Where will you go?” Kris asked.

Yixing hadn’t planned that, he didn’t have any other place to go to. He didn’t want to live with his parents but he didn’t want to stay with Kris, as long as Tao was going to be there with them.

“I don’t know” Yixing said.

“If you want, you can stay here. Until you find another place to live at” Kris offered.

Yixing felt honored that Kris let Yixing live with them but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to do so.

“I don’t know… will Tao be living here with you?” Yixing asked.

Kris shook his head. “Not if you don’t want it”

~*~*~

Luhan had texted Minseok a ‘Come here quickly’ when he felt his panic-attack getting closer to him. Minseok opened the door to the apartment and at the speed of light was Luhan standing next to Minseok, breathing hard and sweating.

“Come here and look” Luhan said and pulled Minseok, who didn’t even get the time to remove his shoes, into the bedroom.

Minseok looked around in the bedroom; except that Luhan hadn’t embedded the bed was everything normal.

“What do you want me to see?” Minseok asked, a bit confused of what Luhan wanted.

“Do you see someone here?” Luhan asked.

Minseok shook his head. “Nope, no one’s here”

Luhan rolled with his eyes and yelled:

“I know! It’s like with Sehun, right? It’s gone, he’s gone!”

Minseok bit his lower lip. He didn’t know what Luhan was talking about or what to reply to the panicking boy. He wasn’t sure what had happened.

“I don’t know” Minseok shook his head.

Suddenly, Luhan’s breathing got faster and he soon fainted. Minseok was able to catch Luhan before he hit the floor.

~*~*~

Luhan slowly opened his eyes, his head was pounding and his vision was being unclear.

“Good, you’re awake. Sit up and take some water and medicine” Minseok’s voice said but Luhan couldn’t find his friend.

“What… happened?” Luhan asked as he sat up and grabbed the glass of water.

Minseok handed Luhan the white pill and Luhan put it inside his mouth. He swallowed it together with some water and grimaced at the horrible taste of the pill.

Taking pills wasn’t really his thing.

“You had a panic-attack and fainted.” Minseok explained. He looked worried at Luhan.

“Luhan… when was the last time you took your medicine?”

Luhan thought about it for a while. He knew that panic-attacks meant that he hadn’t been taking his medicine for a while.

“It was… I took the last one two days ago” Luhan lied, he had actually stopped taking his medicines two weeks ago. All time with Jongin just made him so forgetful.

But he could never say that to Minseok.

Minseok nodded. “Tell me what happened”

Luhan explained everything about Jongin. Everything from their first meeting, Jongin asking him out to their dates and how Jongin followed Luhan home the last night.

“He kissed me and told me that he loved me…” Luhan clenched his hand into a fist.

“And… we had …”

Luhan noticed how Minseok’s muscles tensed and Minseok’s smile, Minseok who always was smiling, disappeared. Minseok didn’t say anything; he just nodded as if he understood it all.

“But when I woke up this morning was Jongin gone.” Luhan continued. “Minseok… Ever since what happened with Sehun, I’ve been so scared. So scared that it will happen again”

Luhan was on the edge of crying and so was Minseok. Minseok swallowed, he didn’t know what the worst thing was. Seeing Luhan hurt by what Jongin did or being hurt by Luhan loving another person.

“Maybe… he just left you. It doesn’t mean that he isn’t real just because he wasn’t here when you woke up” Minseok said.

It was true, Luhan knew it. “But I will never know what’s real or not”

Luhan leaned backwards.

“Minseok… do you know what the worst thing is?” he asked.

Minseok only shook his head.

“The … hurt as hell. But when I thought about Yixing… it didn’t hurt anymore” Luhan said and sighed.

“Maybe… you love Yixing more than Jongin” Minseok said.

Luhan shrugged, he didn’t know anything. His head was a mess right now and he just wanted to go back to sleep.

“Can you tell me how it feels to be with the person you love?” Luhan asked. “I have to know”

Minseok’s eyes widened, this was the most innocent question Luhan ever had asked. But all Minseok could do was shaking his head. He couldn’t tell him how it felt.

“Luhan… I can’t. Because it’s different for me” Minseok took a deep breath. It was time to tell it all for Luhan, time to confess.

“It’s different because… the person I love… is you”

~*~*~

‘Dear Sehun,

My mind is playing games with me all the time. I told Minseok about Jongin and Yixing.

He also knows about the with Jongin and that Jongin disappeared in the morning.

What if my mind is playing tricks with me again? What if this is not real?

Minseok also confessed to me. I didn’t know he felt that way.

I’m so spoiled. His life is ruined because of me and I can’t treat him the right way!

What should I do?

Why can’t you answer?

Love, Luhan’

I've had a very bad day, my feelings are going up and down and I really don't know what I should do about it.

This story was my only thearpy xD

Okay, I just have to ask you guys;

LayHan, HunHan, XiuHan or KaiLu?

Please Comment ^^

Shabondama