Kyuhyun’s POV

When I was a child, I always sort my pain in numbers, from 1 to 10. If my finger gets bleed because paper cut, it’ll be number 1 pain. Once I fell from the tree in front of my house, and I decided that was number 7 pain. After I grew up I sometimes forgot to sort my pain in numbers. The accident that I got kicked and punched a week ago made me reminds about my pain numbers, and I decided that it was also my number 7 pain. And when I got an x-ray I suddenly thinks, what it will feel like when I got my number 10 pain. How hurt it’ll be? Or how’ll I get that number 10 pain? Will I got crashed by car or fell from a building? How many stitches that I’ll get? How many broken bone that I’ll get? And my most curious question is; how long I’ll feel that number 10 pain?

I don’t know that actually I’ll get that number 10 pain today. And I got no stitch, no broken bone, no car crashed, and no fell from building.

It was start when Siwon came to my apartment; he got bad mood all of sudden. I try to speak with him, but he only answers it with yelling to me. I know something strange with him since last week, when my rib getting better, when my bruises get faded, when everything seems goes back to normal and fine, he is the only one that didn’t get any normal and any fine.

Siwon starts to get in bad mood easily these days, he often came to my apartment, his non-stop kisses now actually stop, the last time he kisses my lips was 2 days ago, from that day he only kiss me in the cheek. And today, when he came with bad mood all of sudden I can’t hold it anymore so I asked him what happened. He only get bad mood more after I asked that.

I don’t know that if I will forget his words. His mean words.

“You asked me what happened Kyu? YOU ARE WHAT HAPPENED!”

“Siwon...”

He hisses, “Stop calling my name! This is all pathetic, Kyu. We are pathetic. This relationship is pathetic.”

I got silent, hold my tears back.

“You know what, my dad was right. I didn’t know what love is. This is not love.”

“Y-you call your dad? You didn’t tell me?”

“What? Like you told me your dad called you too.”

I got a taken back, how can he know my dad called me? My dad did call me; he read the news about us in London. He only sighed, and said I’m mature enough to choose my life path, but in the end he asked me did I already considering taking the scholarship in London. And I said I can’t leave Seoul, I can’t leave Siwon. I know my dad disappointed with my choice, but he knew he can’t do anything with it.

I heard Siwon sighed, “I’m sorry, Kyu. All these are just not right. Me, you, we are not right. We suffer too much, and this is not the way it is.”

I hold my tears even more.

“I’m sorry. I think, I need time alone....” There he finally said it.

I can only look at him, I didn’t know what to say, and before I even say anything he walk out from my apartment. Leaving myself, all alone.

And that was my number 10 pain. No blood, no broken bone, no stitch, no car accident, no fell from building, don’t need any ambulance or even police. It’s just me, the empty room, and tears.

I can't hold my tears more when Siwon walked out. I cried so much. I didn’t even bother to hide my screams. I cried. I scream. I hold my face in both of my hands and start screaming. Hope that pain will go away just a little with those screams and tears. But it won’t go away, because that’s the thing about pain, it demands to be felt.

Siwon’s POV.

I can’t handle it anymore. I can’t see how Kyuhyun is crying in front of me. So I decided to walk out, before I changed my mind. I quicken up my steps, go out from that apartment.

I didn’t go anywhere after that, I sit in front off the door; hold my face and my chest. I try not to cry, but I can’t. And I hear Kyu was screaming inside, I really want to stand up, came to him, and hug him, but I can’t. This is what I decided.

Leaving Kyuhyun might be the hardest part of my life. I love him, even when I said what’s going on between us is not love, I still love him deep down inside my heart. I start to get away from him step by step since last week, the sooner the better. The only reason why I decided to leave him is because  I don’t want him hurt again. I can’t forgive myself if Kyu got anything that might hurt him from my fans again or even worse my father. He suffers enough because of me. I didn’t mind if I had to suffer a lot because of this, but I don’t want him to get hurt even more.

But hearing his screams, feel his sadness, look at his tears, and I can’t do nothing to stop it is really killing me. I cried even more; try to cover the sound of my cry with my hands. And the more he screams, the more I felt hurt.

When I decided to leave Kyu I know it’ll hurt, but I don’t know it’ll be this hurt.

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Still short, but I hope it is good. So this part is all about tears and hurts. For my recommendation, you might wanna play some broken heart song while you read it. Anyway, enjoy!