Your POV

It’s amazing that I have classes with almost everyone from BAP except of course Zelo, my brother, and Himchan.

I sigh when I get to the cafeteria.

I watch as Jongup tries to drag me over to the BAP table but when I notice my brother staring at me I sigh shaking my head.

“Sorry but I need to study more. I want to get my homework done today so I’m going to grab a sandwich or something and eat in the library.”

Jongup nods slowly as he looks down at his packed lunch probably by some family member.

“Noona, I’ll go with you. Maybe Yongguk will join us. He keeps saying he needs to study more.”

Jongup calls Yongguk over and tells him that we’re going to study and he agrees to come with us.

I look at my brother and I almost want to be childish and pull down my bottom eyelid and stick my tongue at him, but instead I just give him a cold shoulder.

“So Rose which 1 of them are you avoiding?” Yongguk asks me.

I’m caught...

What do I do?

“I don't know what you mean?”

“Yes, you do. Hyuna, which one of the members are you avoiding? Are you afraid to get hit on by Himchan?”

“Yes,” I answer without even thinking not wanting to tell them that I’m avoiding my big brother who I hate more than anything on this planet besides our parents.

As the day ends and I’m leaving the school grounds I’m tired then heck since I spent the entire time either in class or the library.

It was successful in avoiding my brother, but  I thought that too soon.

Since standing by the gate there he is with a look on his face that said I’m in trouble.

“You’re avoiding me,” he states then asks, “Why are you hanging around BAP? They are a bad influence and I do not want my sister near them.”

“Says someone who’s just using them to get a promotion. You are such a hypocrite. You know the reason why I haven’t killed myself or something. It’s because of Zelo. It’s because he's always been by my side even when we are far away from each other. He was still there to talk to and cheer me up. The only reason you ing care about me is ever since I can remember I’ve been your scapegoat. Even when I liked you as my brother. Be proud that you made it that I hate your guts almost as much as I hate mom and dad.” I turn away from him and sigh adding, “Look I still love you more than I love mom and dad. They are the reason why I’m the scapegoat for you especially for the reason why I lived with our crazy aunt, but remember just because I’m the product of dad’s affair doesn’t mean I like you anymore than I need to.”

“Rose,” he calls for me but I don't listen to his voice.

I keep walking until I reach my favorite tree in the park and smile, “At least you’re still here standing tall and mighty while I’m nothing but a small mouse.”

I hear a mad voice behind me ask, “Who said that to you?”

I turn around to see a tall Zelo standing behind me, “Who had the balls to say that to you? Who had the balls to call my beautiful lioness something like that?”

I laugh, “Those were the days I was part of my own little gang in middle school and a little in high school. I’m no longer the Lioness… I’m nothing more than a beaten animal who can no longer fight.”

“My hyungs asked me about you and I didn’t tell them anything. I didn’t tell them about your past. I didn’t tell them about the abuse you got until you moved into your biological father’s house when you were 9 or why you were sent away.”

I start laughing I guess I really have  gone crazy.

I feel arms wrap around me as Zelo holds me, “I know that you’ve lied about your age. I know how old you really are.”

I pull away and whisper, “How?”

He smiles as he leans down and kisses me catching me off guard.

I mean can this really be Zelo.

He’s so smooth, charming, and caring towards me… More than usual almost like a real man would be.

“It’s a secret,” he pulls away with a shy smile, “I’m sorry for the kiss I just have wanted to do that for a while.”

I watch as he walks off and I feel a small clench in my chest.

I want to run after him and hug his chest like those girls in the movies, but unlike them I’m living in the real world.

I feel fear of what could happen if I go after him.

I simply touch my lips thinking, ‘He took my first kiss.’

I’m almost happy purely happy something that I haven’t felt since my mother went nuts then later died.

I walk home to see my father seething probably going to accuse me of being a ... Something I’m used to truthfully.

Yet he just stares at me until he says, “Hyuna, we need to talk please sit down?” I sit down in a chair at the dining room table, “Hyuna, I know that you care for that boy and even his friends but they are bad influence. I don't want them to be causing any trouble for you.”

“Oh you mean like you did? I know you hate me and I know that I hate you right back. So let’s stop pretending.”

“I don't hate you... It’s just you look just like your mother who...”

“Beat me until I was sent to the hospital and you found out about me. Don’t worry dad I’m just fine the way I am. No need to try and comfort me after how many years.”

“Your mother was my twin’s wife, but when he died. She had went a bit bonkers and thought I was him thinking I had left her. I knew what she wanted and that’s what I gave her. I did not think that would have given her a child.”

I sigh and look at him, “Why?”

He looks down, “I’m ashamed of myself. I had thought I would go over there to talk with her. I agreed I’d stay to eat, but what happened next was not ever planned it was never what I wanted.”

“Oh I’m glad that my mother’s insanity is something that you’d never expect.”

“I know she made you dress and act like a boy through most of your life. I know that she’d beat you and I know that you never fought back. Yet when I found this out it was too late to protect a daughter that I didn't know existed for almost 10 years of her life.”

I sigh knowing there’s still so much that he doesn’t know, but for now I’m going to keep my mouth shut.

I touch my now waist long hair and look at them, “Thanks for the heart warming speech but that doesn’t change the way that the two of you had treated me all these years to save your son.”

Before I walk away I hear my father stand up and walk right past me whispering, “I did not know most of the time until my wife told me she had you take the blame.”

I look after him surprised as he walks into his study locking himself inside.

I sigh as I walk into my room looking at the photo that I took of Zelo and me the other day.

I check my phone to notice that Jongup had texted me, “So did Zelo do something stupid to you?”

“Why?”

“He’s mumbling about how he’s an idiot and shouldn’t have done that.”

“Yea, he kissed me trying to act cool.”

“Well it’s cause he likes you a lot.”

I look at my phone surprised and decide that I’ve heard enough ‘confessions’ for the day.

I turn my phone off, set my alarm, and curl up in my bed for the night.

Pushing all my thoughts from my mind leaving my brothers, fathers, and friends voice out so I can hopefully sleep tonight.