He watches her make her habitual morning cup of coffee, clad in her glasses, a pair of plaid shorts, a tank and of course, her favorite pink bathrobe; the one she had gotten for her birthday a few years back, when it had still been fluffy and...Not quite so worn in. Her hair thrown up into a messy bun of chocolate brown bedhead, her fringe not all that better of a mess across her forehead- but she's still beautiful. Always beautiful. Even with half closed eyes from sleepiness, sheet marks on her cheek and skin void of any kind of product.

Sodam was the most beautiful woman he'd even seen. More beautiful than their Mother, his past girlfriends and even the female Idols he had grown so used to working with. She just had a natural kind of attractiveness, she wasn't striving to be perfect; she was just being who she was, wearing what she liked and acting the way she did because she could. Sometimes he even envied her for those things but would be quick to reprimand himself mentally. He loved his Noona, his big Sister. He adored her.

He was allowed to be jealous though, right? Just a few times every now and then?

Well, actually he found himself jealous more than just a few times. When he visited home and was introduced to her boyfriends...He wouldn't even try to hide his jealousy. He would give them dirty looks, say even dirtier things when Sodam wasn't in the room- and his personal favorite, the threats. 

"If you so much as touch my Noona, I will personally make your entire future a living hell."

"She likes you and I can see that. I'm not blind. But I do tend to be kind of...Physical. If you hurt her, just know that I wouldn't ever hesitate to beat your ing face in."

And he would smile like he had just given the worlds best compliment, usually because Sodam was sitting on the couch just across from him and she would pick up on it, no doubt.

So you could only imagine how it felt to have his Noona to himself for the day- until that is when her current lover came striding into the kitchen and planted a nice, loud, kiss to the side of her neck and hugged her back to his chest. It felt like all kinds of wrong watching his Noona giggle and blush and smile because of....

Because of his gay best friend?

Yeah. Apparently not so gay anymore, are we Kibum.

He couldn't help but scowel, quite deeply, as he watched them flirt. He was the one who would hold her when she got scared, he was the one who made sure she always knew she was loved and appreciated with hugs and cuddles and kisses to her forehead. She was the one he would go to when he had nightmares or got hurt, the only person he ever wanted when he was in need of someone. They were inseperable. But then again they must not be quite so close- at least not when she can so easily forget that he is in the room when it comes to Kibum.

He almost wants to clear his throat or fake being in pain so she'll drop Kibum completely and fret over him instead but that would be really immature.

....Then again he was immature so why the hell not?

"Noona, my ankle hurts really bad. Can you help me to the couch, please?"

In an instant Sodam is by his side, her lips pouted out and her nose scrunched cutely as she gave him a once over. 

"Sodammie, it's his ankle not his entire body."

Kibum has this smug look on his face when Jonghyun turned to shoot a warning glare, but it doesn't stop him from chortling and playfully poking his nose. Jonghyun was being serious, damn it.

"Oh, right. Well maybe you should eat something first and then I can help you to the couch after?"

All he can do is nod because she can cook, and she can cook good. He would never decline an offer for her food or even hesitate for that matter. Even if Kibum was going to back hug her the entire time and steal little scraps and bits of the food that rightfully belonged to him.

Okay that part kind of made him think twice because damn it, Kibum was starting to go after his food now too?

"Aigoooo, this smells so good! Who taught you how to cook?"

Jonghyun felt his upper lip twitch. Their Mother did. He should know this about Sodam by now, shouldn't he? He did claim to be in love with her.

"Hm? Oh, well my Mom. She started teaching me at a pretty young age."

Jonghyun remembers well the times he would wake up to the smell of burnt food, usually pancakes or eggs that his Noona had let cook too long,  and ultimitely had been forced to be the guineapig for taste testing. In the end it was obviously worth all of the times he had either spit out his mouthful of food or forced it down with a wavering smile and a, "Mm! It's good, Noona!". It had taken Two months of living in the dorms for him to actually miss the slightly burnt food. It made him miss his Noona- which had been something his Mother said he would end up doing in the long run because, "Even burnt food is food, Jonghyun. A woman's charm is her cooking. Sodam just needs a little bit more practice, you'll see.".

"Because that's part of a woman's charm, right?"

That earned him a flashy smile and a quick nod from his Noona, her loose bun bouncing side to side and her eyes squinting into little cresents. And of course an irritated smile and rather stiff nod from his best friend. He felt accomplished.

He wouldn't go down without a fight even if his enemy was his own best friend. His Noona was exactly that; HIS Noona. And not even Kibum was allowed to get away with having her without his cconcent.

....Or...Okay so he just wasn't really willing to give her away like that even if he knew he had too one day; after all she wasn't his to keep. But he hated the idea of visiting home and not waking up to her, not getting to eat her cooking, not being able to watch tv with her or cuddle with her when he pleased. It just rubbed him the wrong way.

It really rubbed him the wrong way.

 

~ * ~

 

She knew it was kind of...Really wrong. The way he looked at her, the way he touched her and treated her like she was anything but his older Sister. Jonghyun was just a very loving person, a very touchy-feely person who had no sense of personal space.

That wasn't a complete lie. 

But with her, she knew it wasn't his usual affectionate nature coming out. It was very different when he would curl up to her on the couch, huddle under her blanket at night and curve his body around hers, when he would bring her things that made him think of her (especially when he didn't get anything for his girlfriend or their Mother). He gave her those looks of complete and utter adoration and it made her stomach twist.

It, in a way, made her feel so good; it was like despite the public eye and laws and society he still defied them all just for her love, for her attention. But it was so wrong, so....Disgusting. She could never- would never- love him the way she believed he loved her. She just couldn't. He was her baby Brother, he was made from the same DNA, the same flesh and blood. 

No matter how flattering it was, she simply didn't quite feel the same way.

She loved him with all of her heart, would die for him and live for him but she wasn't in love with him in any sense of the phrase or feeling. 

He was her baby Brother, her Hyunnie- and that was all he ever would be. But her baby Brother came before the loving touches of her boyfriend, came before his need for morning kisses and nose rubs and hugs. So of course she met Jonghyun's needs before Kibum's; she made him his favorite breakfast, a glass of orange juice and even snuck in a little something sweet.

And she didn't give in to Kibum until she was more than sure Jonghyun was asleep on the couch, comfortable and clonked out from the effects of his pain medication. Well she didn't give in until her and Kibum were done giggling like kids at the way his arm was dangling limply off the side of the couch and his eyes were slightly open- it was always entertaining to watch the way he slept after he tried to resist falling asleep.

"Weirdo."

Kibum nodded in agreement, a smile on his face- and she could always tell at times like that, that Kibum really did care for Jonghyun no matter how often they tended to bicker. The softness in his eyes and the caring expression he had...She loved that about him. The way he could care about Jonghyun just as much as she did. It was a reassurance- that she wasn't the only one who had the urge to dote upon him or spend her time with him whenever she could. Jonghyun was just, by nature, a very lovable person. I was hard to resist the things he asked for, the things he wanted or needed- especially when he knew just how much she cared for him. Apparently Kibum was no different, tugging the throw blanket on the back of the couch down to tuck in her little brother while he slept...It was just yet another reasurrance for her.

 

~ * ~

 

And Sodam had absolutely no idea just how much Kibum cared about her little Brother.

No idea.

He couldn't look at her without seeing him in absolutely everything she did; when she laughed, all he saw was Jonghyun. When she smiled, he saw Jonghyun's lips and cute eye smile. When she talked he saw Jonghyun's mouth and cheeks. When she breathed he didn't see her- he just saw him. He knew it was a bad thing to do, but he wasn't going to ever be with Jonghyun the way he wanted to be, so why the hell not go for the only other person who could ever come even a little close to living up to him?

Sodam was a lot like Jonghyun.

She resembled him in her looks, he could easily tell they were siblings despite her face structure being just a bit more softer, more circular and feminine.

She was a lot calmer, not quite as hyperactive as Jonghyun but sometimes she slipped and it showed- that she had the potential to be so much like him in that way.

He had to bend down to hold her, to whisper in her ear, to kiss her. Just like he had to when Jonghyun wasn't wearing his rediculously high insoles, just for a whisper or a hug.

Her hands were small, petite and warm just like Jonghyun's- and more feminie of course. But his palms still swallowed her hands when he held them, his fingers almost reached her wrists when their fingers laced. Just like Jonghyun's.

She had those sharp yet wide, puppy-like eyes that Jonghyun had, hers usually lined with a black liner and natural shade of eyeshadow. But looking into them was somewhat like looking into his....Not quite as expressive and emotionally open, but just as warm and inviting.

It physically hurt him to compare them, all the time, but his mind and heart couldn't help it. It was like the comparisons were an automatic thing. He loved Jonghyun, and cared about Sodam. And he compared absolutely every single thing both of them did.

Of course being so observant didn't always mean he would compare Sodam and Jonghyun. He caught the looks, the touches and the love Jonghyun had always displayed for his Noona.

Kibum compared himself to Sodam quite often, as well. And by the time he ran out of things to compare between them, she had everything he didn't.

Jonghyun made that kind of obvious.

She had things Jonghyun was attracted too while Kibum was just the guy he got along with because they shared common interests. When she got a new shirt Jonghyun would coo over how pretty she looked, how her sense of style was so smart- how he would have to literally beat the men off with a metal bat. When Kibum got a new shirt, Jonghyun would usually be there when he got it- and he would say, "It suits you. Totally something you would buy." after picking at the sides and shoulders of the material with a playful judging expression. He liked Kibum's clothing styles but they were a bit too bold for him, he tended to go for the pre-chosen ones like slacks, a button up and a blazer. Or skinnies, a graphic tee and a hat. He didn't swap things out, mix and match like Kibum did and he sure as hell didn't look at him with those appreciative eyes. Not like he did Sodam. He didn't run his fingers through Kibum's hair after a coloring or cut like he did with Sodam's. Sometimes he wondered if Jonghyun would even notice if they hadn't gotten their usual new styles and concepts done at the sametime.

And sometimes it hurt- alright it always hurt, Jonghyun was such a beautiful person...He had a heart of gold, a personality to die for and a body even a Greek God would be even just a little envoius of. Who wouldn't want that in the person they would be spending the rest of their life with? Jonghyun knew him like nobody else did, Jonghyun was the only person he wanted to be with.

But knowing he couldn't have him in that particular way? It was painful. More than painful, it was...It was a feeling he couldn't even begin to describe. And he had to live with that feeling every single day, so why not try to soothe it?

Sodam soothed that feeling in ways he was thankful for but he knew she would never compare to Jonghyun.

Not ever.

But she was worth giving a try, worth soothing even a little of that pain. So he gave in to it and tried his best to love her, even if it meant using her...Because he could love her all he wanted, he could kiss her and hold her and cuddle her but he never once saw what they had as him and the woman he was in love with. He saw it as him and the replacement for the man he was in love with.

And it really ing .

 

A/N: Like my ending? lol it's so bad but oh well. So my Papa hired these guys to cut the bushes in our front yard and they ing weedwacked our WiFi cord into a billion little pieces. I am not amused. I need WiFi to live, I need it for YouTube so I can watch SHINee and listen to music and AFF so I can update and read fics and LJ for the same reason and Tumblr and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH. I NEED IT. So I probably have it again if I'm posting this right now lol But that is why it took longer than usual to update :c

/sigh/ I am soooo close to being done with those EXO crossover fics. Theres two, one has a bit of y time in it which will be my first ever... /gasp/ and on top of that it's an OT3 LOL look at me being all daring and badass  = ^ = b

ALSO! This is set when Jonghyun had surgery on his ankle :c poor baby, I still can't believe he went that long with his ankle like that e ^ o AND HIS NOONA IS SO DAMN PRECIOUS I AM LITERALLY LIKE BIASED OF HER. SHE'S SO CUTE AND PRETTY AND UGH psst, don't tell Jonghyun but she's my ideal type xD;;