I didn’t know I could experience these exploding nerves all over my body, I could feel how my mind wasn’t fully processing the moment, and lead me to always think on the worst case scenario of the situation, even when Amber tried to stay positive I know this accident would only lead to something bad, and all I could feel was regret a feeling I didn’t like, and thought never would have about her, about us. So this is how it feels to want so much to travel in time and reverse that moment when you know you screwed up something so much, to have known what would happen and changed a few seconds in time, I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt anybody but now this is hurting me and most importantly us. I tried not to think so much in the consequences of my acts because even though everybody told me it wasn’t my fault I knew it was, and that was eating me alive, the guilt I had for that one moment of weakness I couldn’t reverse was too big to hide, it showed all over my face.

We were sitting in the hallway of the big office waiting for an executive of our company to meet us, and talk about what happened in that bathroom that night. Amber was holding my hand tightly trying to make me feel better but it wasn’t helping, all I really wanted was to not face this, but I had to, we had to for the sake of our group. That’s the biggest part, it didn’t hurt just me and Amber it hurt my members too and it was so painful.

“Hey! Are you ok?” she asked me looking concern.

“No, I’m not. How can you look so calm?” I was in the verge of crying already and I haven’t even step inside that office.

“I know we will be ok, manager oppa have our back. Don’t worry princess” she cupped my face and gently kissed my temple. All I could do was sigh and try to let her words have some sort of calming effect in me but it didn’t. My nerves were equal with my regret and nothing could change that right now.

[Flashback]

All we could hear was a loud thud and when we pulled away from each other to see where that came from, my body temperature decreased fast, because standing at the door was a girl with widen eyes looking dumbfounded at us. Amber snap the thoughts of the young girl, who now I realized had a t-shirt with “I <3 f(x)” written on it, and spoke while coming closer to the girl.

“Listen what you saw..” I could see how Amber tried to keep her cool but it wasn’t easy this could ruin us. The girl just couldn’t utter a word properly and started to look from Amber to me and repeated that process multiple times.

“What’s your name?” Amber was now two steps away from the girl and walked behind her to close the bathroom door.

“I’m.. what? wait..” the girl massaged her temple “I just can’t believe Kryber is really real. OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!” she was almost panting because of the screams she just did.

“No, wait it’s not!” I spoke fast, Amber looked at me in a way I couldn’t read properly.

“What you mean it's not?? I saw you kissing like OMG!!!! I can’t believe it I got to see this OMG it’s so AWESOME!!!!!” the girl was obviously too excited and this was getting harder and harder to deal with.

“Look.. what’s your name??” Amber still was very cool and I don’t know if I should be thankful, maybe I should because if we both freaked out wouldn’t be a help.

“I’m Roxy” the girl smiled widely at us, and I could swear I could see her jumped a little bit.

“Ok Roxy, you CAN’T say anything about us, really. Not a single word” Amber grabbed her shoulders trying to calm her down but I think that just paralyzed her.

“I-I wait.. Amber Liu THE Amber Liu is freaking holding me right now? like OMG I just.. am I dreaming??????” her face couldn’t look happier, she looked like a squirrel on crack.

“No, you’re not but I wish we were..” Amber toke off her hands from the girl shoulders “I’m serious here Roxy you CAN’T tell anyone you saw us kissing, please. We can sign you autographs, take a picture with you, whatever you want in return for this favor but PLEASE we beg you don’t say anything ok?” I could sense the hope in Amber’s tone.

The girl stayed quiet like she was debating on a hard decision, and I was just staying mute watching the scene. I swear I would do an entire performance just for her if she kept shut about this.

“I- I don’t know I mean this is too big. You know how much we kryber shippers want this to be real and now I know it is, is kinda like OMG too much to handle..” Even if you knock the girl down you could still see a smile on her face.

“Yeah I know and we love you all BUT this is serious, South-Korean citizens are VERY strict with same relationships and we could lose our career because of you.  I don’t think you want this do you??” Amber tried to have a sad face and I followed her on that when the girl looked at me.

“Yes, Roxy Amber’s right I mean this is serious. Plus this way you would be VERY special because no one knows about this.. so you’ll be like the number one Kryber shipper EVER. Don’t you think that’s way better???” that would have sounded so much better if I wasn’t so desperate for the girl to cooperate.

“Really??? Well yeah I mean like I feel so lucky because I got to see you guys kissed, that’s like OMG but I mean the others deserve to know..” we managed to erased the smile on the girl’s face and she stay quiet analyzing the deal, and we were hoping for her to just say yes “BUT yeah you guys are right.. I can’t end f(x) just because of this” she smiled at us and I felt so relieved, Amber hugged the girl tightly.

“Thank you SO MUCH. You’re like an angel Roxy really” she smiled widely at the girl and stepped beside me.