I remember the first day I ventured out into Seoul. I’ve laughed at myself many times since I’ve become more acquainted with Seoul since then.  I know I looked like a lost puppy, but still, the wonder and grandeur of the city kept me mezmerized enough to forget that I was decisively lost.

     Incredibly lost…and yet it didn’t really bother me.  There was too much to see. Seoul is really such a beautiful city; generally well kept. Lots of beautiful parks, bridges, and fountains to keep ones mind off the fact THAT YOU ARE PROBABLY REALLY LOST.

     So, before I realized it, it was getting dark, and I was at least an hour and a half bus ride from my apartment. What bus stop would get me there, I had no clue. I kept hoping to hear someone speak English so that I could pester them for directions, but my hopes were constantly dashed every corner I turned, and every cross walk I took. I had yet to meet my ENGLISH SPEAKING roommate (who would have been incredibly helpful in this situation) because she was off on holiday in Japan….and this little adventure of mine was brought on by homesickness and a need for razors because my legs were just unreasonably neglected.  So, somewhere in between the visit to the drug store and my amazement of Seoul, I found myself (let’s hear you say it…) lost.

     Tired, still homesick, and getting hungry, I stopped at a street cart for some Soju and Korean beef.  I sat alone glancing around me watching people move hastily from one place to another. Seoul may have been in a different country, but it was a huge city, and so it was moving at the speed of light, as do most other cities its size.  It made me glad to not be so easily noticed; even if I was very American, and my lack of directional skills would be obvious to most anyone; regardless of nationality.  

   I got my cell phone out and called JJ. He, at the very least, could give me some sort of guidance as to how to get myself back to my apartment.

         No answer.

     I sighed in frustration and took another shot of soju. I got back up and decided to venture out once again. Still lost, but willing to continue my venture. I wandered around for a few more minutes before I found myself in a very nice part of Seoul.  Now, I’d be able to pick out Gangnam on a map…with my eyes closed…but to someone new it just seemed like another unfamiliar part of this massive city. I somehow ended up in front of a night club where there were very well dressed young men and women. I stopped at cross walk to wait for the light. Still quite lost.

    And just when I thought my luck had run out, I heard it. English. I heard English. It was someone with a Korean accent, but it was English dammit. I turned quickly to see a group of young guys getting out of a car in front of the night club I had just passed. I stopped to listen to see if they would say something else in English.

“…you should date her, hyung...” I heard. Excitement welled up within me as I approached the group. Even if it was broken English, I’d be able to make something of it. I’d be able to get myself back to my apartment, shave my legs, and laugh at this later…with someone that could speak English. Yeah.

“Excuse me…” I said silently as I walked up to them. They stopped conversing with one another and looked at me.

     The guys looked me up and down. Now, I’m not Korean, but ‘snob’ is a pretty universal state of mind and being. These guys were consumed with it, and it made me dreadfully uncomfortable.  One of the guys in the group introduced himself to me with a large, yet cynical smile and asked what he could do for me.

     “Uhhh. Well, I’m new to the city, and I’m terribly lost. I was wondering if you’d be able to tell me how to get back to Dongjak?”  They all laughed, which made me more uncomfortable. One of them approached me and coyfully said “Well aren’t you a long way from home?” Trying to be nice, I acknowledged my lost-ness (??) and restated that this was the entire reason I had asked them.  “If you’d just give me a general direction or bus route, perhaps, I’ll be glad to get out of your way and leave you all be…”

     One of the guys, I swear, was just about to give me directions, when the obvious “alpha” male of the group interrupted him. “Seeing as you are new to the city…” his English was perfect, actually. Most likely the product of some very expensive lessons and tutoring, I noted. “……I am really hoping you’ve enjoyed your stay, however…..” he continued on. As he spoke, I noticed his dark hair. It wasn’t long or too terribly short, but very well kept and trendy. He was wearing skinny jeans, a dark shirt, with a sweater and scarf to top off the ensemble. “….so if we were to tell you which way to go, I feel like we’d be robbing you of the experience of exploring our great city. Now, if you’ll excuse us.”

It took me a second to sink in after examining him for a moment, but when I realized he blew me off and that he and his friends were laughing at me, it really pissed me off. I smiled, yelled, further explaining that if they’d just graciously explain how to get out of Gangnam, it would be enough….

The “alpha” stopped walking towards the club and approached me once again.

“Look, I don’t care if you’re lost or not. You got yourself here, so I’ll assume you can get yourself back home. If not, then there’s always the police station. Now leave us alone.”  I scoffed at him. Annoyed by his ego, his presence, and his manners, and in the frustration of being lost, cold, and alone, I MAY or may not have called him an idiot and thrown something at him.

Did I forget to mention that I’m pretty reserved until someone pisses me off?? Yeah…and then I get confrontational as hell. It’s not that I have a short temper, I just, have a selective one…and it just so happened that, on this particular night I ended up annoyed, midly aggressive, and in the police station after it was all over.

Yes. The police station. A great introduction to Korea, I know, but I suppose that’s what happens when you “assault”  someone who has a lot of money and connections in government.   In Korea, they call them chaebol. I found one. My first night. And I threw my bag of razors and my shoe at him…because I am a badass.

A lost badass in a foreign police station.

     I sat quietly in a cell as they processed my identification and called JJ.  It would figure that they’d get a response from JJ when they called him. He came and picked me up from the police station. Thank god he convinced the officer that I was new, lost, and unfamiliar with the country, so much that they took great pity upon me and it was decided that the charges were best dropped. Of course it was promised I wouldn’t be throwing anymore shoes at cheaebols and that I would stick to other districts of Seoul for the time being.

    “Promise me you won’t go exploring without a friend first?” JJ asked emphatically as he dropped me off at my apartment.  “I promise.” I replied whole heartedly.  He nodded and drove off. I went back in my apartment, just glad to be somewhere familiar and no longer lost….at least not physically.

Inside, though, I was still very lost and unsure of myself. Still wondering if I had made the best decision. Wondering if I could ever NOT be lost in this new country.