After we got back from vacation, (what I thought would be) my last few weeks in Seoul passed quickly. Between finishing up my lessons with the kids, finalizing travel plans, and arranging last meets with friends and co-workers, my life was pretty full.  But not full enough to forget my last conversation with Anthony and Ji Hoo. I felt guilty, in a way, for my actions, and redeemed another. But I was focused on getting back to the states and my life, so I was able to put in the back of my mind for the most part.

Who I couldn’t stop thinking about, though, was Ji Hoo. I kept churning over our interactions in my head trying to figure him out. But no matter how much I tried to piece it together, I couldn’t; so one minute I was sincerely curious and the next annoyed. It was infuriating and exhausting.  What exactly was his deal? I mean, I would hate me if I’d gotten a piece of cake thrown at me, but the second time we met that night, he acted like nothing had happened…and knowing full well who I was, he had helped me get up…even humored me when I apologized…and then the next minute, he blew me off…the whole thing was just…unsettling and weird. REALLY. WEIRD.

“Hey missy, you’ll hurt yourself thinking so hard.” Chanelle interrupted my thoughts with a chuckle.

I rolled my eyes in response. She sat across the table from me.

“I’m just sitting here thinking about Ji Hoo.” Uh oh. I probably shouldn’t have said that…

Chanelle got a look on her face. The look that girls who want other girls to date every guy they think about kind of look. “Chanelle I didn’t mean it like---“

“OHMYGOD YOU LIKE HIM, RIGHT? I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING GOING ON BETWEEN YOU TWO!”

I tried to respond firmly, but found myself stuttering instead. “Uhhhh. NO. I mean. Who would—“

My phone rang. THANK GOD.

“Sorry sweetie, gotta take this!”  

“Mmmhmmm.” Chanelle said suspiciously

It was JJ. He asked if I could go down to the teaching agency for a quick meeting. Without really listening to his elaborations on the meeting, I told him I’d be there and then rushed out the door, in an effort to avoid Chanelle’s questions. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my roommate, but if she suspected that there was even a hint of spark between Ji Hoo and I, she’d push it, and I didn’t want to endure her questions or playful taunting. It was enough thinking about it on my own.

When I arrived at the teaching office, JJ met me on the bottom floor. “So, I’m going to be escorted up?” I said jokingly.

He laughed nervously. “Uh. Yeah. HAHA.”

I looked over him curiously, shrugging off his awkwardness.  “So what is this meeting about, again? You need to finalize some paperwork before I resign?”

“Well. Actually…there’s someone here to see you.”

“Me? Why?”

JJ just kind of danced around the question with non chalant answers. We got off the elevator and walked towards the office.

“Just ignore his disposition and give this a sincere consideration. I think it might be good for you, you know?”

Before I could reply or question his vague statement further, we walked into the office and it then became obvious to me that this would be no ordinary meeting.

“Hello again.”

It was Park Jae Hwa.

Park. Jae. Hwa.

I don’t exactly remember what I said and nor was I particularly aware of my composure, but I do remember being pretty pissed at JJ. He knew everything that had happened with Jae Hwa at the hospital, so why he’d lead me to meet him?….without telling me, no less…well, it was just enough to piss me off.

I took a deep breath and sat down without replying back. Jae Hwa needed to know that he wasn’t the only one that could act like a jackass, and I intended to show him as much.

JJ cleared his throat rather loudly to cut the tension before speaking.

“Kara, Mr. Park has a proposition for you, and I hope that you’ll listen to what he has to say…regardless of your…unsettling past, I hope that you’ll at least consider this very lucrative career possibility.”

I rolled my eyes and faced Mr. Park.

“So. Why am I here?” I asked defiantly.

As expected, my attitude didn’t phase him. He just went on with his proposal:

“Ms. Andrews, as you know, I am an incredibly busy man. I have a business to run, a family to mind, and I expect the best from those around me—especially my children…”

Ji Yung and Ji Hoo immediately came to mind.  Jae Hwa continued on.

“…recently, Ji Yung has become in need of an English tutor, and I have spared my time to find her the best, and what I continue to hear from parents, teachers, and educators alike is that…you are…the best…”

I laughed under my breath and as I was about to speak, JJ interrupted.

“That is quite true. Ms. Andrews’ class has the highest grade average in English in the elementary school she teaches at. She is truly an excellent educator with a passion to help her students understand even some more of the complicated aspects of the English language!”

JJ was totally milking it. I just looked at him with a furrowed brow, almost in awe of the amount of up he was doing.

“I don’t care about passion,” Jae Hwa noted, “I just expect Ji Yung to speak English fluently by the time she’s 13 or so….10 would be even more preferable.”

Okay. That was it. I couldn’t keep my mouth shut any more.

“Oh my god, could you be more arrogant?!” I interjected forcefully.

“To be quite frank with you, Ms. Andrews, I don’t really care what you think of me. What I want and need to know is if you can meet the goal I’ve set forth.”

I glanced over at JJ. I could tell he was uncomfortable with the conversation. So, I decided to make it a little more relevant to the topic at hand.

“Okay, so….Ji Yung is how old? 8? She’s 8 years old, Mr. Park. She’ll learn English soon enough. Why are you rushing it? At 8, kids are still learning their primary language…I mean, I don’t know what you expect of me, because her progress will mostly depend on her aptitude to Korean and English as well…”

Mr. Park nodded.

“Okay, then. I can understand your concerns in that matter, but I assure, Ji Yung is more than aptly prepared for this challenge. She will just need someone who is willing to push her academic limits, and that is what I will expect from you.”

It occurred to me, at that moment that I would be leaving Seoul in less than two weeks. I decided to use that as a concrete reason to avoid this “proposal” of his.

“I’m sorry Mr. Park, but you see, I’ve already made plans to return to the states. I’ve neglected to renew my passport in light of that matter, so I don’t see how I would be able to continue to—“

“I’ll have all that taken care of, should you decide to stay.” He blankly replied.

Taken back by his nonchalant reply, I desperately tried to elaborate…

“I really appreciate it, but the company I’ve decided to take a job with.”

“I know,” Mr. Park interrupted, “I’ve called them and requested the amount of your salary so that I could offer something a little more lucrative for you.”

Okay that was clearly crossing the line.”You called them?! OHMYGOD. DUDE WHAT IS YOUR—“

“I’ll offer you $75,000 US dollars yearly for this tutoring position.”

At that point, my jaw dropped. So did JJ’s.

“That’s…that’s more than---“ I stuttered.

“Yes. More than double what they were offering you.”

“WHY?”  I asked fervently.

“I explained that thoroughly, Ms. Andrews. You are the best.”

I sat back in my seat, taken back by his bluntness and the offer.

“How long do you want me to do this?” I asked.

“At least 2 years…most preferably until Ji Yung is fluent in writing and speaking English. I am offering this to you with the understanding that you will be a long term employee of my household.”

“May I have some time to consider your offer?” I quietly asked.

“24 hours Ms. Andrews. Not a moment more or less.” I agreed to his stipulations, and with Mr. Park left the office. In 24 hours, I was to call his personal cell phone and let him know if I decided to take the position.

The entire walk back to my apartment was a blur of traffic, and thoughts. 75K. $75,000 a year. That would pay off my student debt quickly and I’d be able to save some as well. I’d been living on much less with my current position…so it would be very easy to make the adjustment to that much more. But, I’d been preparing to leave. My room was packed.I had emotionally resolved within myself that leaving would be the best thing.  But I could have never predicted this…I had never even dreamed that I would have met someone like JaeHwa and then in an even more ridiculous coincidence be asked to teach his daughter English.

When I got back to the apartment, I immediately discussed it with Chanelle.

“How can you say “no” to THAT much money, Kara?”

It’s not JUST the money, I wanted to explain. I had a flickering suspicion that being Mr. Park’s employee would be a very, shall we say, ‘particular’ experience.  I think Mr. Park and I both knew that if I were to take this position, I would be working for every bit he had offered me, and that is what had been so intimidating to me.

“But how can you just walk away from such an amazing opportunity?”

Yes. How could I? How could I even rationalize saying ‘no’ to him? How could I walk away from more experience, more money, and job security? I mean, he did say “long term.”

“YES. LONG TERM, girl. Plus, it would give us some more time together! We wouldn’t have to say goodbye yet, and who knows? Maybe by the time you’re done with this, we can both move back over to the states and be roomies again?”

Chanelle had a point, though, a little on the romanticized view of things, waiting a little while would not be such a bad thing.

“What about my family, though, Chanelle?”

“They’ll be there for you, girl. I know they’re going to understand your decision, and there’s Skype, and you’d be making enough to take a flight back over for Christmas next year!”

I nodded.

I could understand Chanelle’s enthusiasm. She wasn’t ready to lose her roommate. I wasn’t necessarily either, but there was a lot more at stake here for me than for her.

“Let me sleep on it…” I said as we ended our conversation. I went in my room, cut off my light, and flopped on my bed.  I never went to sleep, though.

Just as the sun began to peak over the skyscrapers in the city, I went for a run in the park close to our apartment. After I had finished, I sat on a bench, taking in the air, the sights, and the early morning chill. I smiled, feeling quite satisfied with myself.  I stretched my neck a little, accidentally twisting my collar bone the wrong way. A twinge of pain shot across my shoulders and all at once, memories of the accident and Ji Yung came back to me almost like a revelation.  In an instant, I remembered how much I’d wanted to see Ji Yung before I talked with Anthony and Ji Hoo. I remembered missing her, wanting to know if she was okay….

Regardless of whether or not I chose to stay, I accepted that I would always have a connection with Ji Yung because of what had happened, and I had to objectively understand that in order to be appropriately satisfied with whatever decision I made.

In remembering Ji Yung, though, I realize now, that it added a distinct emotional charge to the decision; more so than I would have preferred, but when the heart is burdened by concern, it is truly a pure and sincere motivation—one that cannot and should not be ignored.

I picked up my cell phone.

“May I speak with Mr. Park? Ah. Yes. This is Kara Andrews. I was calling to let you know that I’ve decided to accept your offer.  When should I start?”