“Last call for flight from Seoul to New York.”

With tears in my eyes, and running full speed away from Ji Hoo, I continued back towards my flight gate feeling every single emotion possible. Happiness that I’ve had these moments in Korea, sadness that I’m leaving, depression because I won’t be coming back, anger because things won’t ever change, anxiety because I’m making myself do something that I don’t necessarily want to do…but it’s for the best.

It’s responsible of me, right? And up to now, everything I’ve done has been as such. I can’t change now. Ji Yung will be fine. Ji Hoo will be fine. Mr. Park, Hyun Ki-issi…they will be alright without me.

But will I be alright without them?

I’m standing at my gate for the 3^rd time today, furiously looking around me to be sure Ji Hoo isn’t around.  He is the last person I need to see right now.  Finally, the line started to move.

“3 more people in front of me. Just three more. Hold on, Kara.”

All of a sudden, I felt something grab my wrist. 

 Ji Hoo was holding onto me.

Tightly, at that.  

Our eyes met. His brow was furrowed; I could tell he was still pretty angry. I took in a shallow breath trying to swallow my tears with it. No luck. I felt streams of them running down my cheeks.  When he noticed my tears, his expression changed, and at that moment, he pulled me away from the line. I resisted a bit knowing that I would be missing my flight if I went with him. Without turning around, he tugged on my arm again and I gave in.   We walked over to a small removed hallway in front of some maintenance doors, giving us some privacy.  I made sure it was obvious that I’d been avoiding making eye contact with him; he seemed to be doing the same. Our eyes darted around looking at the surroundings, avoiding each other.

He seems more nervous right now, too, not as confident or upset as he was a few moments ago.

I know I need to say something to him, but I’m just not sure what I can say to make him understand what I’m feeling….to be honest, I’m not sure what’s going on right now.

“Mianhe.”

Did he just apologize?

I glanced at him with a curious expression, really noticing him for the first time all morning.  He was leaning against the other side of the hallway. Wearing some grey dress slacks, a blue dress shirt and a vest on top.

“So…what are you apologizing for, exactly??” My voice was soft; I wanted to keep the atmosphere somewhat agreeable.

“Everything…” his voice trailed off into the distance as he quickly glanced up at me.

Don’t cry, Kara. Don’t do it again. You need to compose yourself. Just stop and think for a moment. Don’t let him lead you on again.

“I really do appreciate it, Ji Hoo, I just…”

“You’re going to leave…I know.” He voice was b with uncertainty.

“Please let me go…” I felt like I was begging him to leave, but I don’t know what else I can do or say to him?  I could feel my voice being to break while finishing that sentence.

And all of a sudden, Ji Hoo exhaled a bit more loudly than usual and a slight smile came across his face.  It put me at ease, his smile.

“What?” I asked, my tone becoming a little more upbeat.

“This reminds me of that night…” he finished the sentence with something, but it’s hard to understanding him in this noisy airport.

I stood on my side of the hall in deep thought for a moment before remembering.

“OH GOD. The night out at the club in Gangnam?”

Ji Hoo nodded, looking at me….very sweetly. Our eyes met again. My heartbeat began to accelerate. Not again.

“That was kind of funny, looking back on it. Even though you did throw a drink on me.”

“You totally deserved it, though.”

We found ourselves laughing simultaneously.

“You’re probably right.” He said in between his quiet laughter.

“But why does it remind you of that night specifically? I mean, we were still pretty pissed with each other.”  

“Remember when you went to check on me in the back room?”

I stopped for a moment in shock.  “Wait…did you…Ji Hoo you…you remember that? I thought you were …drunk?”

With that Ji Hoo took a step towards me and then leaned in. I backed up in response.

“I don’t remember anything else about that night but that moment…”

He’s being very serious; really serious. It’s a little intimidating actually.

I laughed. Call it what you will, but it was a sincere attempt at changing the atmosphere between us to something a little less serious.

I’m still ridiculously nervous for some reason, though and I’m also pretty sure that Ji Hoo is getting closer to me.

“Okay, so you remember what exactly?”  I asked quietly.

He leaned back away, but he is still very much in arms length of me. I can smell his cologne. I could easily touch him.

“I remember being upset that SOMEONE threw a shot of expensive Japanese sake on my shirt. I remember getting up to go the bathroom…and somehow ending up in the one of the back rooms of the club…”

His voice was softer now. It was as if remembering that evening was happy and pleasant. His smile is incredibly contagious. Most likely because he doesn’t do it too often.

“…I remember you coming in, sitting with me, and then I remember doing a little karaoke, and then ending up in a little hallway much like this one. I remember honestly looking at you for the first time since we’d met and noticing just how awkward you are….”

I interrupted him. “Wait a minute. Okay, it was awkward because you started asking me if I’d ever been kissed and then you insinuated that there could be no possible way I hadn’t been because I was American because essentially we were all ….AND then when I proved you wrong and told you I had my first kiss in college you didn’t believe me…and then you…”

He interrupted me “And then I explained there would be no possible way to tell whether or not you were lying unless we kissed…”

“Yes, so that you could tell how awful of a kisser I was because I had no experience….”

He looked down for a moment, smiling. He brought his head up slowly and then tilted it; he was now really close. I could feel his breath on my face. I desperately avoided eye contact with him.

“So we established that you’re a pretty bad kisser, then?”

I scoffed at his assumption. “I’ve never had any complaints, okay. I mean, I may not have had as much practice as YOU but I’m pretty sure I’m awesome at it.”

“You are easily riled up, you know that?” He retaliated.

I rolled my eyes again and started to move away, frustrated yet again at his games and temperament. All at once, Ji Hoo’s posture and demeanor changed.  Ji Hoo cut me off with his body,  leaning forward and putting both of his hands beside my head on the wall I’d been casually propping myself up against.  Ji Hoo came closer.

My heart started to race again.  My breaths became laborious and shallow.

“You want to know what I’m sorry for? What I really regret?”

I fumbled around with a response in my head, still trying to make sense of the conversation and of where this was going.

“For drinking too much sake? Being a stubborn, loud idiot?”

He ignored my reply and continued on

“Making you think that your own experiences with dating were somehow insignificant compared to my own...”

I stopped for a moment relieved that he hadn’t said what I thought---

“For not appreciating what you’ve done for Ji Yung and my father…but what I’m really sorry for…what I especially regret….is not being honest with myself…and for taking so long to sort out what is important to me…”

He stopped looked at me. His brown eyes were glossy and intense. He leaned in further, stopping short of pressing his lips against mine.

“I also regret, not doing this a long, long time ago.”

I felt him shift his weight to his arms as he leaned against the wall. I tilted my head up and met his lips.  The kiss was soft and simple, but engaging.

I can feel him smiling through the kiss. 

He took one of his hands and ran it up and down my arm. I started to move myself from against the wall, but stopped in response to his touch. He took both of his hands, and gently cupped my cheeks with them. This kiss was very different; it was intense and passionate, and the longer the kiss lasted, the better it got.  Ji Hoo moved one of his hands to the back of my neck where his fingers gently grazed over my skin.  It nearly took my breath away. I moved both of my hands and set them his sides, slightly yanking on his belt and pulling him in closer to me.  When the kiss became slow again, Ji Hoo pulled away, and then sweetly kissed my forehead.  I put my arms forward ready to embrace him; he pulled me in and embraced me.

After we hugged for a minute or so, he stepped back from me a bit.

“Well, you were right about something.” He said with a smirk on his face.

I raised an eyebrow at his remark. “What?”

“You actually are a pretty good kisser.”