"Some things are better left unsaid.”  “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.”

These are phrases…surrounding a principle that most of polite society prides itself in practicing and applying on a daily basis.

But if I have to be honest, Ji Hoo and I were never really all that polite…and we’re not that good at pretending, either.

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The first few weeks I tutored Ji Yung, it was obvious that Ji Hoo was avoiding the house when he knew I’d be there. I rarely saw or heard from him. Honestly, it felt better that way, though. That guy had pissing me off down to an art…let’s not forget to mention my tendency to throw things whenever he came around…

My moments with Ji Yung were very fulfilling for me, though. We connected; established a silent understanding of sorts…  Ji Yung was a very bright, perceptive little girl; apart from being the daughter of one of the richest men in South Korea, it was clear that she’d have a lot of opportunities ahead of her as she got older. But for now, I was most concerned with her reserved and fragile disposition. She was slowly coming to get to know me, but was very quiet still. I could tell she was hungry for affection from someone; she seemed to find a great deal of it from Hyun Ki in place of her father and brother…

There were times I had wanted to pull Hyun Ki aside and ask him about her mother….their mother….but I refrained. I felt like I’d caused enough trouble, and to be honest, I had an underlying feeling that asking that question would be very much like throwing gasoline on an open flame. I just wanted to avoid conflict and do my job…and be there for Ji Yung as much as my position would allow.

About 5 months into my position, Hyun Ki stopped me one day before I was finished packing up my things.

“Ms.  Andrews, I wanted to let you know that Ms. Ji Yung’s birthday is coming up; she’ll be turning 9, and she wanted you to attend.”

I smiled. Nothing could have made me happier; Ji Yung had been quiet, but if she was ready for me to attend her birthday party, it was certain she was opening her heart up to me…and the thought of it made me giddy with hope. We were making progress; she was opening up.

“Of course,” I smiled, “I would love to!” I replied excitedly.

“I’ll be sure to note your reservation for attendance, then. The party will be at the park below the loft on Saturday.”

That night at home, Chanelle cautioned me.

“Look, I’m not saying you should be helping the kid…I’m just saying that in families like theirs, emotions and relationships are not a big deal, and you could potentially hurt her more by warming her up to the idea…because at the end of the day, you’re just her teacher; her tutor. You’re not her mom, Kara and she’s going to want that kind of affection from them…but what if they can’t give it to her?”

I stared in disbelief at her.

“Is this really my roommate I’m talking to? The chick who is the most emotional person I’ve ever freaking met? Really, Chanelle?”

“Kara, I’m not trying to be a downer, I’m just saying that she has to live with the long term effects of being in that family; you get to come in for a brief moment and leave…don’t underestimate the impact these changes will have on her…of course you should support and encourage her, but you’re not her mother….and you won’t ever be.”

“Look. I get it. I’m just trying to show her a little affection, I mean she’s at home with a BUTLER most of the time; her father is always on business and god knows what that brother of her is doing, so I’m just trying to help her branch out a little. I mean, she can’t even go to school right now because of her anxiety. It’s really bad, Chanelle. I get it….”

I paused for a moment before continuing. Chanelle just stirred her tea. “I took general psych too. I understand that this isn’t about me at all…”

I could tell Chanelle was going to reply, but I stormed out before she could. She had pissed me off too; seems like that was happening quite a bit, lately.

That Saturday, I put on one of the prettiest dresses I had, and made my way towards Gangnam. It was a very lovely morning. A little warm, but not too bad. I was happy to be attending this party, and though I didn’t want to see Mr. Park, I was hoping he’d be able to leave Japan long enough to come and see Ji Yung.

When I got to the park, there were kids scurrying around tents decorated with streamers and balloons. Mothers were gossiping, sipping on their glasses of wine as their kids played together in the close vicinity. After some looking, I found Hyun Ki towards the back of one of the tents speaking with a server. I bowed and he quickly acknowledged me.

“I didn’t see Ji Yung out there with the other kids?”

Hyun Ki nodded. “Yes. She is out right now shopping with a family member and will be coming to the party closer to lunch.”

I nodded in understanding but felt a little out place. I had no one to speak with; I wasn’t a mom or a family member, so I just found myself a small table, grabbed a glass of wine, and started playing fruit ninja to pass the time.

“You seem a bit out of place…” a familiar voice trailed off. I looked up and chuckled a bit before replying.

“Anthony!”

Okay. That was a bit too excited, but I was really happy to see a familiar face.

He sat down very coolly and offered me an earnest smile.  I looked him up and down thoroughly; he was dressed in a light grey suit, topped with a white dress shirt and a skinny pink neck tie.

“I feel extremely under dressed whenever we meet. This is a problem.”

He laughed. “Well perhaps that should be motivation for you to change a few things?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, but some of us don’t have $500 to spend on one piece of clothing.” I scoffed.

“This suit cost me $3500.” He said frankly.

I rolled my eyes. “Bragging are we now?” I replied coyly.

“Of course not; that would be most inappropriate; just wanted to make sure you understood the league of man you’re dealing with.” he stated matter-of-factly.

“You know you might just be as arrogant as Ji Hoo is….” Anthony interrupted me before I could finish,

“Far more arrogant, actually. Ji Hoo is actually quite humble, when you get to know him. His, uh, arrogance is more of façade; it helps him date more often.”

He had to be kidding. Ji Hoo? Humble? I think not.

And in an effort to dispel that idea of Ji Hoo even being able to say the word "humble" my brain sought to describe the most extreme for of "never" that you can imagine and came up with this interesting little metaphor:

“The day that you convince me that Ji Hoo is not an arrogant bastard is the day that I will actually kiss him.”

Anthony tilted his head at me in obvious curiosity.

“Oh. I mean…..I’m just saying.” I finished.

He laughed.  

“Is there something I should know about then?” He stared at me blankly

“About????” It took me a moment before I realized my remark could cause some confusion as to the nature of my relationship with Ji Hoo “OH MY GOD. NO. I mean….that will NEVER…”

Anthony smirked and started another conversation before I could continue defending myself….

“How is tutoring going with Ji Yung?”

“It’s great. She doing very well; she’s really smart….” I elaborated on my experiences with her; what I thought about her potential, and the subjects she was having difficulty with. I even disclosed a bit about my desire to encourage her to branch out a bit more…so that she’d be able to attend school one day, if she chose to do so. In the midst of my conversation, though, I noticed Anthony turned his head towards to the street and pointed at a limousine.  Ji Yung scurried out quickly holding a large Hello Kitty doll. I could tell she was absolutely elated. In fact, it was the happiest I’d seen her before. It brought a huge smile to my face.

Ji Yung ran halfway to the tents before turning around and looking back towards the limousine. She stood there for a minute. I called out to her, but she stood with her attention focused at the limousine.  A few seconds, my smile turned to a very large scowl. “Oh god..” I whispered under my breath.   

Ji Hoo got out of the limousine. He was on his cell phone, walking slowly towards his sister. She ran back towards him and grabbed his hand.

“Oppa!” She called out to him. He smiled at her; it was the most sincere form of expression I’d seen from him.

Ji Hoo noticed Anthony and immediately approached him. “Hyung!” He called out a few yards away.

“What are you doing here, hyung? I thought you had to wo—“

Ji Hoo stopped mid-sentence and turned his stare towards me. He inhaled deeply and leaned back in towards Anthony.

“Who the hell invited her?” I heard him ask, disgusted.  

I cocked my head to the side, ready to reply, when I heard Ji Yung.

“Eonnie!!” All of a sudden I felt the grasp of her little arms around my legs.  At that point, I neglected my feelings of resentment for her brother. I looked down and patted her head. “Annyeong!” I said cheerfully. I squat down and threw out my arms for a hug. She lunged towards me enthusiastically. I smiled. Her hug full of warmth; the best one I’d gotten yet...for the first time it felt like she was really excited to see me.

“Did you go shopping with oppa?” I asked. She picked up her Hello Kitty doll and showed it to me while hugging it close to her. “It’s so pretty!”  I said excitedly.

“Thank you, teacher.” She replied in English.

“Wow. I suppose you are spending your time productively if she can already speak some sentences in English.” Ji Hoo interrupted sarcastically.

“Why don’t you go say hi to your friends….they’ve been waiting for you!” I noted happily, and pointed towards some of the other children playing amongst the tents.

Ji Yung picked up her doll and walked over to show it to the other kids.

I stood back up and approached Ji Hoo defiantly. “Look. I’m not here to argue with you. I’m here for her. I’m going to focus on that, and I’m sure I don’t have to say that you should do that as her brother.”

Ji Hoo scoffed at my response. “Someone’s getting awfully protective aren’t they?”

“Excuse me?” I could feel the anger rushing through me.

“You’re just a teacher and you can easily be replaced. Don’t forget that. As soon as I talk some sense into my father, you will be, so don’t get comfortable.”

I shook my head in disgust and then proceeded to walk away from both of them.

I sat back down at the table and called a server over for another glass of wine.

Ji Yung ran back over to me again with her doll and sat at the table with me. Her long dark hair was tied up in a pink ribbon, it provided some contrast to the teal and white dress she was wearing. I smiled at her, spoke to her sweetly. She replied to some questions and ignored the others, but I could tell she was very happy, mostly likely (and as much as I hated to admit it) because of Ji Hoo’s presence. Though I had no respect for him, I understood her excitement; having family around was important, after all. Especially at things like birthday parties.

Before lunch was served, Ji Hoo stood up and thanked everyone for coming, excused his father for having to fly last minute to the states for a business trip, and then commanded the servers to start. Though her mother and father were not in attendance, Ji Yung seemed absolutely content; the happiest I’d seen her, really.

After his announcement, Ji Hoo, made his way to the table with Anthony, Ji Yung, and I. He sat down in the most arrogant way possible (pulling out the chair, and dutifully taking his place in it like it was a throne of sorts).  He ignored me, and turned towards Ji Yung and playfully tickled her neck. She squealed and laughed. I had to laugh with her because hers was infections. Ji Hoo looked towards me and we locked eyes for a moment.

I looked to my left and ignored it.

“Wow,” Ji Hoo commented as I turned away in embarrassment, “I suppose it is true; even some of the ugliest girls look a little pretty when they smile.

I turned my head back towards him indignantly.

I scoffed before replying. “I know it’s probably VERY hard for you, but could you possibly go for 5 minutes without being a CHILD and starting an argument with me?!”

I was exasperated with his behavior and conscientious of the fact that if I lost my temper, he’d most certainly make me look like a fool, and I was NOT about to let him have the upper hand.

When it was time for Ji Yung to go through the gifts she’d received , she made her way to the front of the small corral of tables and sat down as Hyun Ki handed her each present.

At this time, Anthony leaned towards Ji Hoo and whispered something to him in a hushed voice. Ji Hoo looked absolutely livid at Anthony, and in flash, stood up and stormed away from the party.

Desperate to start a conversation that didn’t involve insults, I laughed aloud and said:

“Please tell me what you said to get him to go away. I would love to know your secrets sensei.”

Anthony chuckled a bit and leaned back in his chair.

A moment later, he turned towards me, leaned in, and in a whispered voice asked me if I really wanted to know what he’d said to Ji Hoo.

“Well, now since you’re baiting me, I feel like I really want to know…” I said sure of my decision.

Anthony looked at the ground and then back up towards me.

“I just reminded Ji Hoo that he doesn’t harass a girl unless he really likes her.”

I stopped and turned slightly towards Anthony in shock with my mouth ever so gracefully open.

I saw him smile and shake his head simultaneously. He stopped, pulled out a pen, and wrote something down on a napkin. He put his hand on top of it, and slid it on the table towards me with his hand before sitting back up and focusing on Ji Yung again.

I sat back up in total shock; as I did, I realized I needed to catch my breath.

I sat up, looked up at the napkin he’d passed towards me and read what he wrote:

“그가 당신을 좋아”  (He likes you) .