“Flashback II” 

Yunho stared blankly at his plate while his manager and the directors continued negotiating with each other. He felt Changmin’s gaze press down upon him again, but couldn’t bring himself to look at the other, it would probably make him more emotional—not that he already wasn’t. Thinking about the possibility of Jaejoong being hurt, or even worse... dead, already made his heart pause, and forget to beat.

―•―•―•―•―•―•―•―•―•―

On a chilly winter day, Yunho grabbed Jaejoong’s hand as they walked outside together, bundled up in warm sweaters and disguised in large scarves. He thought Jaejoong looked adorable like that, but couldn’t find the words to say so, without being overly awkward that is. It had always been that way. So they walked alone in silence. They were in that particular predicament, heading to the cafe, for two reasons. One of them being that Changmin was too lazy and protested against any movement while they were on their short break, the other being that Junsu and Yoochun had realized Yunho’s motives for the trip, and had backed off on joining them after seeing the “glare” on Yunho’s face. Of course, that was when Yunho thought it would be easier opening up to Jaejoong, but he definitely..

Underestimated, to say the least. They had been walking together silently for quite a while before Yunho finally mustered up the courage to take Jaejoong’s hand. After which he ignored Jaejoong’s confused glance and merely kept looking around curiously, as if they hadn’t been down that exact street hundreds of times before. But at least Jaejoong hadn’t protested or pulled away, and that was enough for him. 

As they walked into the warm cafe, pleasant aromas of which made Yunho smile, Yunho reluctantly let go of Jaejoong’s hand and walked up to the barista, with Jaejoong following close behind. He quickly ordered five hot chocolates, quickly realized that he wouldn’t be able to hold Jaejoong’s hand on the way back, and internally slapped himself. Way to go Yunho, the devil in his head sarcastically applauded, your brilliant plan has worked out perfectly. The angel didn’t even bother sticking up for Yunho, disappointed as well, only less harsh about it. And so Yunho was swamped with feelings of regret as they waited for their drinks. He simply stood there blankly, waiting and ignoring Jaejoong, until the barista called for them.

Now he stood there, blankly still, with a drink in hand while Jaejoong held the other four in a convenient drink holder. How were people so innovative? Yunho couldn’t even think of a way to confess, and there were people out there that were making millions of peoples’ lives easier. He tried to think about a world without drink holders and shuddered, it wouldn’t be pretty. 

Directing his attention away from the cardboard invention, he realized that it probably was even more awkward that he wasn’t moving or saying anything. He chuckled to break the silence and then started to make his way out the cafe. Again, Jaejoong simply followed close behind. 

“Meeting” with Jaejoong, Yunho mused to himself, had been a step in the right direction at least.. right? They had been able to spend some quality time with each other, and even held hands! But in the back of his mind, the devil and angel were still frowning down on him disapprovingly. Internally distressed, Yunho raised his paper cup to drink when Jaejoong suddenly snatched it from him, almost dropped the other four cups, and took a sip. 

“Eh?” Yunho looked at him with furrowed eyebrows. He couldn’t have really been that thirsty right?

“Uh..’’ Jaejoong looked down slightly, and Yunho could tell that behind all the cloth, was a blush on his cheeks, “Sorry, force of habit.”

Suddenly, Yunho smacked himself inside the head for the second time that day, it was because of the incident. The incident with the drink. And the glue. And, he didn’t want to think about it often, but he had always noticed Jaejoong or Changmin trying his drinks first, whether it was water or soda, or hot chocolate in this case, and now he reminded himself why. As he looked into Jaejoong’s eyes, or tried to, he was touched. Now, even in the cold weather, he felt warm inside, warmer than any amount of clothes could have made him. 

Yunho smiled at Jaejoong, took the cup back, and replied, “Thanks, I forgot.” Then he continued walking with a content smile on his face, hit with a new realization on this trip of disappointments and missed opportunities. Even though they weren’t a couple, or anything more than friends at the moment, he was perfectly content having Jaejoong as a friend. A very special friend, whom he was very grateful for. At that moment, Yunho made a silent promise to himself, that he would always try to protect Jaejoong, just like how Jaejoong was committed to always protecting him.

―•―•―•―•―•―•―•―•―•―

Only now did he realize how much despair he would feel when Jaejoong got into trouble that Yunho couldn’t save him from. He let out a sigh unknowingly and looked up quickly, glad to see that everyone’s attention was diverted away from him, except for Changmin’s of course. 

“Uhh, hyung, how are you feeling?” Changmin asked, putting Yunho in a difficult place. He couldn’t even begin to explain what how was feeling...

Author’s Note: Sorry for such a late update, last week was finals week and so I had noo time to write, but I hope to get back on track. Legitimately trying to finish! I take such a long time to write these. I should write less more. Hahaha.