I Miss You-Noel

"I'm sorry." those words keep repeating in her head even after a year.

Sometimes, I think, I should've stayed by his side. My heart still aches for him. And I hate myself for that. Why can't I just get over him?

I actually loved Suho not just liked him, that's why.

Everyday, I remember the times we spent together. Although, it was only for a little while, I will always treasure those precious memories.

Every night I sit on my bed with my arms wrapped around my knees and cry. Why does it hurt so much?

I should be over him since I'm the one who left. But, why do I feel so empty?

I blame myself for all of this. I tried to help him but failed. I tried to be a good friend but failed. It's all my fault. There was so much I couldn't do for him.

I brought pain to all three of us.

I want to meet him so badly. Sometimes, I wish my friends would force us to talk, but that's not possible.

Sometimes, I can't help but wonder what would've happened if I had stayed. Would he have loved me back? Or would he still be aching for her?

My mind goes on daydreaming of the possible outcomes.

What if he eventually did love me back? We could have lived happily ever after but I left. I ruined my own chance.

I regret every decision I made.

I sit here once again and remember the good times we had together. I can't forget him... I don't want to forget him.

I want to know how he's doing so badly. Is he over her? Does he miss me? Is he doing much better than me? Am I the only who keeps suffering?

After we seperated, I tried to avoid him as much as possible. I even started taking one of my classes at a different time. I regret that so much. Maybe if I had the same schedule, I would be able to see him everyday and start talking to him again. But, of course, I ruined it.

I shouldn't have told him how I feel. If I hadn't told him, we still could've been friends.

I can't help but worry about him. I know he only saw me as a friend but I wish I had him by my side. Yes, it would've hurt but I don't think it would be as painful as it is now.

At least I would've had him close to me.

Trust me, it's much worse not knowing how your loved one is doing.

I want to see his smile. I want him to tell me those jokes only he thought were funny. I want to see him happy... I, at least, want to see him again. Can't at least one of my wishes me granted?

Now, I realize all my mistakes and see how dumb I am. I thought leaving him was the best choice and that it wouldn't hurt but I was wrong. I left him when he most needed a friend and now I have to live with the consequences every day.

I was so confused at first. I regretted everything having to do with him: I shouldn't have been his friend, I shouldn't have offered my help, I shouldn't have confessed, I shouldn't have loved him. But now I come to realize that was the best time in my life.

I wish to see him again. There are many things I want to say to him.

Suho, how are you? Are you better? How's your job?

I'm sorry I left you. Can you please forgive me? Can we meet again... please? I want to playback time.

Suho, I miss you.

I miss you so much.

I love you.

Why can't we start over?

Every miserable night I replay that night... the night I regret the most. The night where I seperated myself from him.

Min Hee continues to cry as she remembers the night they both got friendzoned.

END

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Thank you for reading.  Sequel

-TaquitosNOMNOM 2/1/13