Day 4:

  I wake up from the sound of my mom and dad arguing. They were still going on about the whole thing whether I’m Daehyun’s half-brother. I don’t want to be, but it seems like I might because my dad keeps yelling about how the year I was born didn’t add up right and said he was gone the previous year. I know for a fact that some babies are born early or late and takes about nine months, so I wouldn’t consider that as a fact. However, I can’t say anything because I don’t know what happens before I’m born.

  I stay in my room, just sitting on my bed while staring out the window. It’s still winter, but the snow has stopped. It was cold enough for the snow to stay, but I can see little dents where people walked and patches of dead grass as children use the snow for snowball fights. Sometimes I wish I was a kid again, way before I felt the pain of my dad hating me. Funny, I remember him actually being nice, but when I turned ten, everything changed. I didn’t know what changed him, but now that I think about it, he must’ve figured that I wasn’t his son.

  I don’t believe so. I don’t think my mom could actually do that, but what was she like in the past? What were Daehyun’s parents like? Did his mom know if her husband had an affair with my mom?

  I can’t give the answers to those because I have no idea.

  “Youngjae!” I hear my dad call from downstairs.

  I stiffen, knowing I’ll either experience pain mentally or physically. I head downstairs and see my dad waiting at the bottom of the stairs while my mom stands next to him, eyes on the ground.

  I stay at the top. “Yes, Dad?”

  “Come here.” He points to the floor next to him.

  I step down and stand, looking at him. After I think about it, what kind of features do I have that resemble my dad? Is it the eyes? The nose? The hair? No, I know for certain I look more like my mom. So, what features do I have that my dad does?

  “We will be making an appointment for a DNA check next month.”

  “Next month?”

  “There’s no other available time, but I don’t ever want to see you with Daehyun again.”

  I flinch from those words. Why not? What was wrong with hanging out with Daehyun? Is it because he’s jealous that I’m with him more than my own father or is it mainly because he’s the son of the man who took his woman?

  Suddenly, our doorbell rings and deep in my gut, I know who it is and my dad must’ve known, too.

  “Don’t open it,” I hear him tell my mom when she was about to open the door.

  After a couple of seconds or so, we hear the doorbell again.

  Why can’t I see Daehyun? What’s wrong with him?

  No one moves and I can’t stand it. I know my dad would just pull me out of the way if I try, so I end up running up in my room and stare out the window. I see Daehyun waiting patiently at the door, hands behind his back while eyes at our door. I notice he isn’t wearing his mask and it surprises me. I remember glancing at him yesterday and my heart was about to burst. I don’t know why, but I see him as a very handsome person and now that he’s without his mask, I take a good look at him.

  His lips were plumped that were asking to be kissed and the way his them were so tempting. Aish! What am I thinking about now?

  Suddenly, he steps back and looks up.

  I retreat, not wanting him to think that I’m home. I didn’t want him to believe that I’m avoiding him after yesterday. I want to be with him, but I can’t. I can’t with my dad around. Once he leaves, I’m definitely going to meet him. Plus, I have to tell him my problems. I have to tell him that we might be half-brothers. I have to tell him everything.

  I wait a few seconds before going back to the window. I see Daehyun walking away from our house and down the street, heading to town. I shift my eyes to the driveway and notice that my mom was leaving, but my dad’s car was still here. I bet he’s not going to leave today especially since he doesn’t want me to escape from home.

  I lie on my bed and stare at the ceiling. Pressing a hand on my chest, I can feel my heart beating rhythmically, but as I think about what happened yesterday, my heart speeds and thuds as if it would go right out. I roll on my stomach and bury my face into my pillow. I want to see him so badly.

  I’m not sure how long I was staying in my room, but when I get out, I hear the light snores of my dad. I step into the living room and find him sleeping while the T.V was on. I didn’t dare to touch it because usually when I turn it off, he wakes up and starts yelling at me, saying that he was watching.

  Going back to my room, I change into warm clothes. Slowly and quietly, I sneak out the door and close the door shut. I didn’t turn to look behind me for the fear of meeting my dad’s eyes, so I just keep walking. I walk into the cold, blowing puffs of smoke for the heck of it.

  I look around, wondering where Daehyun would be. Most likely, he would be at the fountain once more. It seems like we both have an attraction with that area. It is a peaceful place to be at, but I never expected Daehyun to go there.

  My pace slows as I start to have doubts. I’m sure once I get home and find my dad awake, he’ll be yelling and beating me even if my mom is there. Before my mom could control him, but now it seems like she can’t.

  Should I turn back? But what if my dad is awake and starts screaming at me while I try to defend myself? Of course, he won’t listen and that just means I wasted my time. I’d rather be caught with Daehyun rather than be yelled at when I did nothing wrong.

  With that thought in my head, I quicken my pace. I want to see him. I want to see Daehyun so badly.

  I end up at the park and find Daehyun sitting at that same bench. I feel a pang in my heart as I remember holding him tightly, feeling his warmth. It doesn’t matter if it’s cold like winter or hot like summer, I want to feel that same warmth once again. I want to feel that strong grip wrapped around me, protecting me from harm.

  I stand next to him and feel my lips move slightly as I say, “Daehyun.”

  His eyes shoot open and he stares at me. A faint smile curves on his lips causing my heart to beat even faster. I have never seen him smile before. I have never seen such a beautiful smile on a guy that I’ve only spoken to for four days. He comes up to me and my cheeks flare. Why was he so attractive? Since when was he this handsome?

  No, I can’t think this way. He might be my half-brother. I step back, exclaiming, “Daehyun, I-”

  He places a finger to his lips, causing me to shut my mouth. Why can’t I tell him? I could have spoken because he didn’t cover my mouth, but with that simple gesture, I just break down inside.

  Daehyun gives another smile. He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out.

  I feel like crying because I feel so helpless. I just want to escape. I want to leave this town with my mom, leaving everything behind. But now that I think about it, the main thing that I don’t want to leave is Daehyun. I want to be with him for however long we can be together.

  Just as I was going to tell him the truth, I hear the thing I wasn’t expecting to hear: Daehyun singing. He was singing. He was singing right in front of me, eyes closed and mouth moving with words coming out. My heart falters as he continues a song that comes straight to his heart. His voice wasn’t the best I have heard, but to me it was perfect. To me, that voice was the only thing I hear among all the screams and talks around the park. Daehyun’s voice was the only thing that I’m listening to.

  I don’t know why, but my tears won’t stop.

  When he was done, his eyes wander until they meet with mine.

  Why am I crying now? Didn’t I want to hear his voice? Shouldn’t I be screaming in joy and jumping up and down now that I finally get to hear his voice? Why am I not doing it right now?

  I sniffle and wipe my tears.

  “I-” he starts, but I cut him off.

 I smile. “Y-You did well for someone who hasn’t spoken for years.” That was the truth. I didn’t expect his husky singing voice would be perfect in my ears. He sounded so innocent when he sung like a child just starting, but the thing is, his voice is too deep to belong to a child’s.

  “Then… Why are you… Crying?” He forces out.

  “I’m just happy,” I comment. “Anyways, where did you hear that song?” I never knew there was a ballad like the one he sang. He didn’t even need instruments to make it beautiful. I guess that’s why I like ballads because even without music, if the singer puts their emotions in, you can’t help but be intrigued.

  “I made it up.” He pauses and goes back to doing his sign language. I actually started it a long time ago, but I never sung it until now. I don’t know how it turned out though. He chuckles heartily.

  I give him a thumbs up and say, “Well, it was perfect! You should start writing songs more and maybe we’ll work together one day!” I’m sure our voices will work well together and I’ll teach him all the ranges that we can do.

  He nods. “That sounds fun.”

  I just wish I can hear his voice more often. He has such an intriguing voice.

  Suddenly, I remember my dad. I wonder how mad he’ll be when I return. No, I can’t think about this now that I’m with Daehyun. He’s actually speaking, so this should be a time for a celebration. “Are there any more surprises?” I ask while forcing a chuckle. I can’t make him suspicious.

  He shakes his head.

  “Anyway, what do you want to do today?”

  I just want to sit down and relax today. I’m tired.

  Even I’m feeling tired. “Sure. I need to relax a bit today, too. It’s been hectic lately.”

  He nods and sits on the bench.

  I sit next to him and rest my head on his shoulder. Today, I need support and he’s one of the few that I’m turning to. I really do feel comfortable with him next to me. I feel like I’m at home and nothing will disturb me. “I don’t want to go home,” I whisper and cuddles into his neck. He smelled like vanilla, intoxicating me.

  “You can stay here all you want,” he whispers.

  I smile to myself and close my eyes. He’s one of the few that could make me smile after a tough day with my dad. I need him, but I’m not sure if he needs me.

  Suddenly, I hear, “Youngjae!”

  I shoot up as I recognize the voice. I get away from Daehyun and stand up, shouting, “Dad!”

  He was as red as a tomato. His eyes darted between Daehyun and me. “We’re going home,” he demands through gritted teeth.

  I was ready to go, but Daehyun takes my arm. No. Please don’t do this Daehyun. I don’t want you to get hurt because of my foolishness. Please let me go.

  He must have notice my pleas because his grip lightens. I’m sorry, Daehyun, but you can’t be involved in these matters just yet. I shake my head and slip my arm out of his grasp. With my lips trembling, I force a smile on my lips while walking up to my dad. Before we leave, I take one last glance at Daehyun and mouth, “Don’t worry.” I didn’t look back to see his reaction because I knew I would break down if I ever see him hurt.

  Dad and I walk in silence the whole way, but when we went inside, I earn a slap from him. I trip from the sudden impact and just sat on the floor, eyes wide and a hand on my now stinging cheek. I couldn’t cry this time because I ran out of tears.

  “You damn child don’t know how to listen! You might as well be that man’s child and die during that accident.”

  That had done it. Those words just caused me to burst. “Shut up! I’m sick and tired of you screaming and beating me! I don’t care if I’m being rude to you now, again, but I hate you! I hate your ing face and your ing attitude! I’m done with living with you! I would be glad if I’m not your child because I don’t want to carry your blood! I really wish I wasn’t your child and hope you and Mom get a divorce because at least she can find a decent man to live with! I hate you!” I didn’t wait for him to hit me again and scramble to my feet, escaping to my room. I lock the door behind me and hear the sound of my dad’s footsteps coming up the stair.

  “You ungrateful child, get out here right now!”

  “Leave me alone you, ba-”

  Bang!

  My dad is banging on my door, trying to force it open. If you think horror movies are scary, just thinking about your own father coming to your room to beat you to death is definitely more frightening.

  “Leave me alone!”

  He continues to bang on the door with no words.

  I run to my bed and cover my ears with the pillow. “Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Leave me alone!” I constantly repeated while shutting my eyes tight. I just want this nightmare to end. I want everything to end. I hate this family! I just want to run away!

 Suddenly, it grew quiet, but I didn’t dare to leave my spot. Instead, I listened and heard my dad’s footsteps retreating until silence. Then, the next thing I hear was screaming. The kind of screaming when you’re frustrated and you just want to let everything out. Then, I heard things crashing to the floor and a door slamming and finally silence.

  That silence was the scariest thing I heard because I don’t know what happens next. I wasn’t sure if he gave up or was thinking of something to do to me when I’m forced to leave me room. It didn’t matter because for the rest of the day, whether or not my mom calls for me, I’m staying here. I’m going to stay here until this nightmare ends.