Day 5:

  I wake up from the sound of the door slamming. I look through my window and find my dad leaving the house, but I see my mom’s car still there. I run downstairs to see my mom crying on the sofa. “Mom.”

  She looks up, tears flowing down her cheeks. “I c-can’t do this anymore,” she stutters, “I-I don’t know what to do. I feel so weak.”

  I come up to her and wrap my arms around her shoulders, comforting her. This was the first time I saw my mom cry. I would usually see her as a strong woman able to handle my dad, but this time, it’s another story.

  “I’m thinking of leaving.”

  My heart skips a beat. Did I hear that right? “What?”

  “If you don’t want to come, that’s fine, but I can’t stay here any longer. We’ll come back for your appointment, but I’m thinking of getting a divorce. I can’t do this anymore.”

  No. I don’t want to leave, but I don’t want to stay with my dad with just the two of us. However, most of all, I don’t want to leave Daehyun. I can’t just disappear from his life after all that happened this winter break. I don’t want to leave him because… Because…

  “We’re going to leave tomorrow. I already called your aunt and she said, we’re welcomed to stay as long as we want. Maybe I just need a break. I don’t know, but for now these are my thoughts. Maybe by next month, everything will be fine.” Suddenly, she sobs and wouldn’t stop.

  “But mom…” Why would she run away when she said that the affair wasn’t true? Why would she run away now?

  She calms her breath, taking deep gulps of air before saying, “What your dad said was true.” Her body was trembling as she tries holding in her cries. “I did have an affair, but I don’t know if you’re really his son or your fathers.”

  My whole world stops there. This whole time, no one knew who my real dad was. But why would my mom do that? Why would she go to another man when she had my dad? Wouldn’t Daehyun’s dad be at fault, too? After all, he cheated on his wife also. Everything is just so messed up now. “I looked up to you,” I state. I really did. She was the only one who could control my dad; she was so loyal, but now, now I don’t know what to say. I actually didn’t know my mom. Who is she?

  “I’m sorry, Youngjae. I wanted to forget about it. I was hoping-”

  “You were hoping I would never find out? Lies always come back and backfire on you. I never thought you were would do that! I thought you loved my dad and that’s why you stayed with him through all those struggles! Isn’t that was love is? Why are you running away now that he tells you he knew about the affair? I mean, even he stayed after knowing…” My dad stayed. He stayed with my mom even though he found out about the affair a long time ago. What does that mean? Does he still love her? But what about me?

  “Youngjae…”

  “I don’t want to hear it!” I yell. “Leave me alone! I feel like I can’t trust anyone anymore!” I storm out the house and run out to the driveway. I scream at the top of my lungs and kneel on the cold concrete. I look up to see Daehyun’s house right in front of me. So far, Daehyun’s the only person I can trust right now. He’s the only one that hasn’t hurt me yet.

  I doorbell and knock on his door. Please be home. Please be home.

  Suddenly, the door swings open and I see a shocked Daehyun staring at me. Why? Why does he have to be so handsome without his mask? And why is there a possibility that he might be my half-brother? I don’t want that to happen, but there’s a chance.

  “Youngjae! What are you-”

  I couldn’t stand it anymore. Those lips were so tempting and I needed some sort of comfort. I grab his cheeks and press my lips lightly on his. They were so soft under mine. At first I didn’t want to let go, but I know he’s uncomfortable with this, so I had to. “I’m sorry. I just have to do it. Can I stay here for a bit?”

  He nods his head slowly. Maybe I shouldn’t have kissed him so suddenly. I don’t want him to think bad of me.

  I sit on the couch while Daehyun disappears for a moment. I press a finger to my lips. What if he doesn’t have the same feelings towards me anyways? Would that kiss mean nothing to him? Ah! I think I made a big mistake! Why did I kiss him anyways? I notice Daehyun was watching a romance movie which was strange to me because I couldn’t imagine him watching something like that. I didn’t feel like watching something with love because in movies, they make it seem so unrealistic. They make it seem like love is the best thing, but actually it hurts the most. I flip through until I see Daehyun coming back. “I don’t know what to watch.” I just leave the T.V to one channel and curl up in a ball. “You don’t mind me being here, do you?” Maybe this is very inconvenient for him.

  “No.”

  Is he sure? “I don’t feel like watching T.V. But if you do, I’ll watch with you.”

  He shakes his head. “We can play… videogames.” I have it upstairs in my room if you want to play.

  I grin. “Sure, let’s go.” At least I’ll have something to do to take my mind off of things. I mean, I just don’t want to remember the past for a bit. I follow to his room and was so surprised.

  “Here’s my room,” he says.

  “Wow! It’s so big!” It’s way bigger than my room and has way more stuff. He could even fit his own T.V in here while I could only fit a desk and some basic stuff like that. I jump on his bed and find it very bouncy and soft.

  As Daehyun was fixing up the videogame, I stare off into space. What should I do? Should I go with my mom and be away from Daehyun or should I stay here with my dad and face the consequences after yelling at him? I don’t know what to do.

  “Youngjae,” I hear Daehyun next to me.

  “Yeah?” I turn to him. Will this be the last time I see these eyes staring back at me?

  He advances towards me and presses his lips on mine. I didn’t pull away as I feel so happy that he’s kissing me. I thought he would hate me after kissing him without warning. I thought he didn’t feel the same way as me.

 I move my lips with his as his grip around me got tighter. It feels as he was trying to suffocate me because of his hold on my body. A moan escapes my lips without my knowledge. Daehyun pushes me lightly on the bed, never leaving my lips and his full weight on top of me. His hands trail all along my body making me go crazy. I can feel my body grow hot as his kisses got more violent.

  Taking it slower, he pulls away from my lips and sends butterfly kisses along my neck.

  I shouldn’t be doing this. What if we’re half-brothers? What would this mean to the whole world? “Daehyun,” I groan. I can’t take this.

  “What?” He mutters and continues kissing along my neck and up.

  “D-Don’t.” He lightly nibbles on my earlobe causing me to moan. No. I can’t be doing this. This isn’t right.

  “You can’t make me stop now,” he whispers and lightly grinds against me.

  I couldn’t stand it anymore! Why did he have to say that? That just makes me want him even more. I shiver and tighten my grip on him as I feel a slight bulge rubbing against my thigh. No, he can’t have feelings like this towards me. We can’t be doing this.

  I lightly push him away and sit up. My body begins to tremble as tears were forcing their way out again. I don’t want to cry, but it just wouldn’t stop. “I’m sorry,” I mutter and turn to him. “I can’t do this. I just can’t. I shouldn’t have kissed you in the first place. I don’t know what’s going on with me. This whole week as been hectic and I feel like I’m going crazy every time I’m with you. I can’t do this to you…” This time, I couldn’t hold my tears any longer and bawl in front of him. Maybe it’s best if I leave him. I’m just going to be a burden anyways.

  From behind me, Daehyun takes me in a light embrace and rocks me back and forth. I turn around so I can bury my face into his chest. It seems like he’s the one person who knows how to comfort me. His touch was special.

  Suddenly, I hear Daehyun hum a tune. I don’t know this tune, but it was comforting. It was soft just like his heart and filled with love. He rubs my back as if I was little child, hurt of an injury. I rest my head onto his shoulder as I could no longer cry anymore. It seems the tears are slowing whenever I’m with Daehyun.

  “I love you, Daehyun. I really hope you’re not my brother,” I mutter into his shoulder.

  It must’ve came out muffled because her asks, “What did you say?” He pushes me away from the hug so he could look as me.

  I wanted to say it back, but I can’t. I didn’t want him to know about this. I didn’t want his life to be messed up like mine, so I simply shake my head and say, “I-It’s nothing. Let’s just play.” I grab a controller and start the game. I really need something to distract me for now.

  We play for hours, just talking and laughing as if nothing happened. I want this last memory of him to be special. I don’t want this last memory to be troublesome, so I just pretend that all this drama never happened. I didn’t learn that I might be someone else’s child. I didn’t have a dad that would beat me. And I didn’t have a mother who actually had an affair with the father of the person I loved. None of that existed while I’m with Daehyun.

  When it was about time to go home, I tell Daehyun, “I’ll be going home now. I think my mom will be worried about me.” I bow with a small smile on my lips.

  Daehyun hugs me and asks, “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

  I’m still in his arms. I can’t say that I’ll see him because tomorrow is the day I’ll be leaving. I move my head around wanting to remember his warmth. “Bye, Daehyun. I’ll see you soon.” I release him and head downstairs.

  As I’m about to head out the door, I hear Daehyun’s footsteps behind me. He kisses me on the cheek causing my heart to burst inside. Without a word, I smile at him but as I thought about my family, I frown. If we were half-brothers, what will happen to this relationship? I bow and leave his house without a word.

  I stop at his driveway and look up to the sky and smile. It seems that I have become someone’s happiness. But I just wish I could see him some more before I leave. After all, what if everything changes when I’m gone? What if he finds someone else to love? Or what if we do end up being brothers? Will I be able to let him go? Those questions stick to my head until I enter my own home.

  I find my mom packing her stuff in her room. I stand by the doorway and say, “I’ll come with you.”