Day 2:

  I wake up late in the afternoon, feeling drowsy. There is one reason why I like waking up early and that is because I feel like I wasted my time if I wake up super late and all my energy is gone.

  I roll around in my bed, not knowing what to do and suddenly I realize that my dad wanted me to wake up early so I could help him at fixing the heater. It stopped working yesterday so the whole night I was freezing cold, unable to fell asleep. When I did, I end up waking up late!

  I get dress into warm clothes before heading downstairs. I stop as I find it hot and my dad sitting on the couch, reading a newspaper. He looks up the moment I enter the living room, giving me an icy cold glare. “What happened?”

  I bow my head, knowing what he meant. Whenever he makes plans, he wants everything to go the way he wants it. “I-I overslept.” I stutter and stare at the ground. I didn’t want to meet his gaze for the fear of getting hit.

  It didn’t help.

  I stumble to the side as a stinging sensation was felt on my shoulder. I ignore the pain, but my voice did otherwise. I yelp in pain and bit my lip, regretting it.

  “Soon you’re going to take care of yourself in your own home and you need to learn how to do these simple things! But you won’t learn unless you do it yourself! The next time our heater breaks, I’m going to let you do it yourself without anyone helping you. You would have to figure it out for yourself so you will learn how to take care of yourself!”

  I flinch by his words and mutter, “I won’t do it again. I’m sorry.”

  He just stares at me before saying, “Don’t say sorry if you’re going to do it again. I don’t want to hear it. If you’re sorry, then you wouldn’t have done it in the first place.”

  I simply nod, knowing if I continue to talk, he would say more things.

  “Go to your room until I call for you or might as well go out and do something useful but I want you back before dinner.” With that, my dad returns to his newspaper reading, pretending like I didn’t exist.

  I bit my bottom lip, holding back the tears that were making their way out of my eyes. Without another word, I walk out of the house and immediately spot Daehyun’s home in front of me. I wonder if he’s home, and I’m sure he doesn’t mind me visiting him.

  I walk up the driveway and just stare at the house, noticing how plain and boring the front yard is. There’s nothing there except for a tree and a driveway. Whatever, what I’m wondering about right now is where is Daehyun’s room.

  I find several windows, but I know the first floor wouldn’t be his room because I know it could be the living room like in my home. Now, I just need to determine which window it would be on the second floor.

  I grab a pile snow and shape it into a snowball. I choose the first window and throw that snowball, causing it to splat all over the glass. I made another one and throw that one to the other window. I keep switching from both windows hoping one of them would be his room.

  I gather my fifth snowball. Just when I was about to throw that one on the first window, I spot Daehyun glaring down at me with that same mask on. I wonder if he’ll ever take that off for me to see his features. I smile like an idiot. “Hey!” I greet while waving my arms around. I’m so glad that he was there or else I could be accused of vandalism if someone caught me.

  What do you want?

  I continue to smile. “I just want to talk to you.” I really did want to talk to him. I wanted to get away from my dad after what happened earlier. I didn’t want it to affect my mood for the rest of the day.

  Why?

  “Why not? I want to talk to you! I mean, can’t a person have a decent conversation with each other? Why don’t you come down here and we can walk around and talk a bit!” There’s something wrong with this boy! He’s such a loner! I mean, who wouldn’t want to be with people!

  No. There was no hesitation in his reply which disappointed me.

  I pout and cross my arms over my chest. “Don’t be such a brat!”

  His eye brows raise. Give me a better reason why I should go down there and talk to you?

  “Uhm…” I look down and see the pile of snow I had created earlier. Maybe I could use that to my advantage. “If you don’t,” he picks up a handful of snow, “I’ll throw this at you.”

  Oh! Scary! He pauses. That won’t make me go down. Suddenly, he retreats from his window.

  Ah! He’s leaving! No! I don’t want that! I want him to come with me and talk to me! I don’t want to go back home and meet my dad! \ “Just for now! I don’t want to stay home! It’s so boring there and… And…” My voice trails as I begin to worry what my dad would say if I return home so early without accomplishing anything. He didn’t say specifically what he wanted me to do, but he mainly wanted me out of the house.

  He comes back after a while. Will you leave me alone after this?

  Does that mean he’s going to come with me? “So you’re going to come down?” I’m not really paying attention with what he’s saying actually. I’m just glad he’s considering about going with me.

  Only if you say yes.

  I nod my head and jump up and down in excitement. Yes! I win! Now all I have to do is wait for him. I watch him leave the window without saying a word. Out of boredom, I crouch down on the snow and start playing with it. It snows a lot here, but I never get tired of it. I just love the snow. After a while, I look up and find Daehyun standing near me. I stand straight with a smile on my face, hold out a hand, and greet, “Well, good afternoon, Daehyun! It’s nice to meet you again!”

  He doesn’t take my hand, so I drop it and watch him sign language, Where are we going?

  “You’ll see.” I’m sure he’ll like today because it won’t be like yesterday, but I’m worried about what he’s wearing. It looks thinner than yesterday’s apparel. “First, before we leave, I need to make sure that you’re fine with what you’re wearing right now.”

  Why?

  “Because we’re not going to any place that’s warm. I have a surprise for you and I’m sure you’ll like it.”

  I’m fine with these clothes.

  This boy is surely strange! How can he not be cold by this weather? “Oh… O-okay… Let’s go then!” I grab his arm and lead him towards the park. To my surprise, he doesn’t jerk away from me. Instead, he lets me hold onto him as I ask questions that pop into my mind. I wasn’t sure if he was listening like yesterday, but that’s okay because I don’t really want him to answer since I’m asking questions I asked yesterday.

  As we neared the park, I exclaim,“We’re here! Okay! Now close your eyes and I’ll guide you!” I cover his eyes and take him to our next destination in silence. I notice he was walking very slowly – probably afraid that he would fall if we walk too quickly. I don’t mind since I have a lot of time to spare.

  I stop in front of the fountain and smile in satisfaction before releasing him. This was probably the trillionth time I’ve been here, but who could blame me? This was my favorite place in the park.

  He turns to me and gives me a confused look.

  I explain everything to him. “This is my favorite place in the area. This was actually the first place I went to when I moved here. Too bad there’s no water, but I would usually toss a coin and make a wish.” I pause. My main wish was that my dad would show me at least some sympathy and love. I’m not even sure if he loves me. I can’t tell by the way he’s been treating me, and sometimes, it makes me feel like I don’t belong in this world.

  I hear Daehyun clear his throat and I look at him. You think like a child.

  I pout. “It doesn’t hurt believing! I mean, someday you’ll understand that it’s best to act like a kid once in a while. It doesn’t hurt thinking that good things will come after the bad. Sometimes I even wish I could just sleep endlessly being stuck in my own dreams.” I chew on my lip as the tears were ready to come again. No! Not now! I don’t want to cry right now in front of Daehyun!

  He turns his head away from me. Don’t cry. You look ugly when you do.

  I sniffle and wipe my tears away. I shouldn’t be crying! I take a deep breath and stomp my foot. “I’m not here to cry! I’m here to show you something! The fountain is just the beginning because I brought you here to hear me sing!”

  I see him tilt his head like a confused puppy when they hear a strange sound for the first itme.

 “I know, I know. It’s weird that I’m going to sing to you, but I just want your opinion on my singing because I know you’re going to be honest. And I feel like it.” I didn’t wait for him to answer me and start singing one of my favorite songs. I wasn’t a well known song, but I didn’t want anything mainstream and have other people coming out of nowhere and sing with me. I just wanted him to hear me. I was so engulfed in the song, I wasn’t paying attention to how my voice sounded, and when I was done, I ask, “So, what do you think?!”

  It’s okay…

   I was disappointed. “Really? Then what do I need to change?”

  Your voice is raspy.

  “Well, I didn’t do my vocal warm ups anyways, and I haven’t been singing for a while.” I purse my lips. Maybe I should start taking vocal lessons again to work on my voice. “Anyways, how about you try singing? I know you don’t like talking, but maybe you’ll like singing! They’re two different things, so I’m sure you can do that for me.”

  They’re the same difference. It still requires my voice.

  “That’s not fair! I’m sure your aunt hears your voice every day! What’s wrong with other people listening to you! I’m sure you have a great voice, but you’re just too stubborn to not show it!”

  Me stubborn? I think you got that wrong and in fact, not even my aunt knows how I sound like. She hasn’t heard me speak in over ten years! I don’t think she even remembers what my voice was like. Plus, I hit puberty, so I’m sure it sounds way different from ten years ago.

 What? Even his own family has never heard his voice! What kind of relationship is that? So does that mean he never heard his own voice before? “So you haven’t heard your own voice either?”

  Aish! Just drop it! I don’t want to talk about it.

  “Do you think you can hang out with me for a while?”

  He sighs and nods his head. Okay. I’ll follow you.

  I grab his arm once again, but this time, he jerks away from me. What’s wrong with him?

 There’s no need for you to hold my arm.

  Ah, whatever. “Oh, okay. Sorry. Anyways, how about I take you around the park?”

  I don’t care.

  “Okay! Let’s go on the playground!”

  Playground? Why? Aren’t we too old for that?

  “You’re never too old to do certain things! It doesn’t hurt being a kid once in a while, Daehyun! It’s not like there’s going to be a lot of kids out! It’s too cold for them and I’m sure their parents wouldn’t want them to play around other than having snowball fights with friends! C’mon before there actually is a lot of kids.” I run all the way to the playground, finding lots of little kids running around and playing on the swings and other stuff in the playground.

  I head straight to the empty swings, earning weird looks at the children, but I don’t care because it’s been so long since I swung on a swing. I find Daehyun far away from me and the children. I wave at him. “Daehyun! Over here! There’s a swing next to me! You should swing with me! It’s fun!” I kick my feet.

  He doesn’t move a muscle, so I have to get up and pull him to the swing. I sit him down on the swing I was on and run behind him. Just when I was about to push him, he gets up and scolds me. What are you doing? We’re too old for this!

  “We’re never too old for anything yet!” I shout and pull him back on the swing. “Now sit down and enjoy!” I push him, not minding about the stares I was earning. However, I could tell Daehyun was minding because his head kept moving back and forth.

  After a while of pushing him, I got tired and start running away from him. Daehyun gives me a confused look and runs after me. Where are you going?

  Wait, is he worried about me leaving him? I grin. “Why?”

  He glares. I don’t mean it that way, you idiot.

  I pout. Such a meanie for calling me an idiot! I smack the back of his head. “I’m not an idiot! And I’m just looking for a place to go! The slides are too small for us! Everything is too small for us except for the swings and the…” I scan the place and spot somewhere to go. “The see-saw!” I rush there while it was empty and sit on one side. “Daehyun! Sit there!”

  Again, he glares at me and again, I had to drag him on it. It was basically like that for the whole day at the park. I’m sure he was really embarrassed, but I don’t really care. People can judge all they want, but I’m living life to the fullest!

♦♦♦

  As we were walking home, I was silent the whole way as I was satisfied about today. I want to do it again, but he said he doesn’t want to see me after this. I frown at the thought, but smile again as I remember I could still see him at school. He can’t hide from me forever!

  From my peripheral vision, I could see him staring at me. “What are you looking at?” I ask and shift my eyes toward him, causing him to avoid my gaze.

  Nothing. He makes an annoyed expression and picks up his pace.

  I catch up to him, wondering why he did that. Does he really want to get away from me? “Did you have fun?”

  Sure.

  “Did you or did you not? Sure isn’t a full answer.”

  Why do you want to know?

  “What’s wrong with asking?! You’re so mean sometimes!”

  He shrugs and heaves a sigh. I had fun.

  “I’m glad you did,” I say quietly to myself. I wanted to hear that because it’s a satisfying feeling that’s hard to describe. It’s only something you could feel if you actually done it.

   I frown as I remember I had to be back home. “I don’t feel like going home, but I have to.” I roll up my sleeve and check the time on my watch. My eyes widen as it was almost time for dinner. I run a few feet away from him before turning around. “I’ll see you later, Daehyun.” With that, I head home.

♦♦♦

  I’m standing in front of my doorstep and take a deep breath. I was a couple of minutes late, and I hope my dad wouldn’t be too mad at me, but I’m sure he is. I enter the house and find my mom and dad eating at the table – or more like waiting for me at the table.

  I step in the dining room and bow. “I’m sorry I’m late.” I sit down in my seat which was in front of my dad.

  He stares at me in silence before getting rice.

  My mom greets me. “Hello, Youngjae. Did you have fun today?”

  I nod my head, but didn’t leave my eyes on my dad. It truly is scary when he’s quiet. “I did.”

  “What did you do?” My mom continues to question.

  “I was with a friend.”

  “That’s good. What did you do?”

  “I just went to park with him and we just hung around. I kind of lost track of time, so I’m sorry that I’m late,” I repeat, still staring at my dad. I hope he gets my message that I didn’t mean to be late. “I’ll try to be early next time.”

  “So you’re going to meet this boy again?” This time, it was my dad who was speaking. His eyes dart to mine and I immediately look down on my empty plate.

  “I-I’m not sure. I’ll only go if I have time and if he has time.” Actually, I wanted to see him again. I don’t want to be here alone with just my dad in this winter break while my mom is at work.

  He takes a bite of his dinner.

 That was the end of our conversation.