Hana came with us for the guys’ schedules to help keep up with HanMi who had somehow gotten a hold of a bunch of sugar and was practically bouncing off the walls the whole day. Throughout the day, YongGuk and I kind of kept our distance, not because we were on bad terms with each other, but because we just weren’t exactly on good terms either.

                “This is what you do all day?” Hana asked as we took a handful of presents from their manager’s hands and set them on the table with the others. We were at a fansigning event, and the guys were all taking their seats while Hana and I were taking care of the behind the scenes business.

                “You kidding? This only happens a few times a month.” I replied, as a few fans handed me a few gifts. I smiled and nodded greetings to them. Hana made a face when she thought I wasn’t looking.

                “How come they get so many gifts?” she asked, stacking them up in a neat pile.

                “They’re B.A.P, yessir.” I said, sarcastically, making Hana smile. I glanced behind me to check on HanMi who was standing by the stage, watching the guys greet the fans and talk. “HanMi-ah, come stand by me.” I waved for her to come over and at first she seemed reluctant, but she skipped over and grabbed my hand anyway. I lifted her up and balanced her on my hip as we started going through the gifts, separating the clothes, food, and random in three separate piles and then separating those piles into smaller piles for each member. We set those towards the back of the tent and then went to stand towards the front of the stage to retrieve the rest of the gifts that the guys would be getting while they signed things for their fans.

                “Look at how many people came.” Hana whispered mystified. I nodded, smiling.

                “It’s amazing, isn’t it?” Managers and coordi-noonas passed us more and more presents, so we spent the majority of the time backstage, organizing, but once it had slowed down enough, we were able to hang out around the stage and just watch the guys in their element.

                At one point though, it got so busy, I had to set HanMi down. I’d told her to sit by the stage, and Hana had given her my phone to watch shows on, so I’d thought she’d be too distracted with that to even go anywhere.

                I’d thought wrong.

                There was a collective gasp and then a wave of squeals in the crowd of fans as Hana and I walked back from the back of the stage and when I looked up, HanMi was crawling into Youngjae’s lap. I stopped in my tracks out of surprise, wondering exactly what to do in a situation like that. She’d never interrupter a fansign before.

                Manager Kang sighed as he lifted HanMi up, but Youngjae only laughed and shook his head.

                “She’s okay, I can lean over her.” He said, so Manager Kang shrugged and let her stay. But he sent me a warning look as he turned to pace back and forth behind the guys as usual.

                Suddenly, all of the fans’ attention seemed to be on her. They ooh’ed and aww’ed whenever the guys would hand something to HanMi and she would react, and when they’d go up to get Youngjae to sign something, they would speak to her too.

                Basically, my child was just as popular as her father all of a sudden.

                Hana laughed and bumped shoulders with me playfully. “Maybe you should go up there and announce whose child that belongs to.”

                “They’d kill me and not even blink.” I responded instantly, shaking my head. “Not a chance, no thank you.”

                Hana just rolled her eyes. “Someone is going to make the connection. She looks way too much like YongGuk to not be his kid.”

                I thought about it for a while then shook my head. “No, they’re too distracted with how cute she is. They probably just think she’s one of the coordi-noonas daughters and the guys are just really close to her.”

                “They’re closer to her than the fans think.” Hana muttered, ducking away from me before I could smack her.

                We stayed nearby the stage just in case HanMi had a meltdown—which she usually did in large crowds—and collected the last of the gifts from the managers. After about another hour of signing, I could tell HanMi was getting tired, so I tried to signal to Youngjae to hand her over, but he was too busy talking to a fan.

                “Just go up there and get her.” Hana said, nudging me towards the stage.

                “I can’t.” I hissed, pushing her away.

                “Go get your child, Kim SoKyung.” She gave me a huge shove and stumbled towards the stage.

                That caught Youngjae’s attention.

                “Hey noona.” He said, giving me a quizzical look. “What’s up?”

                “HanMi’s getting tired.” I replied, gesturing to said child who was rubbing at her eyes as she yawned.

                “Ah, okay, here.” He lifted HanMi off of his lap and handed her to me, but I had to climb onto the stage to get her. Which caught the attention of the fans that were still in line. Whispers spread through the crowd of them and I honestly did begin to feel myself getting selfconscious just like anyone in my position probably would. It wasn’t a great feeling.

                With a heavy sigh, I pressed my lips to HanMi’s forehead and looked over her to where YongGuk was sitting. He was already looking at me. A silent conversation seemed to pass right through us, but I turned away before he had time to react or get up or give any reason for the fans to freak out about anything.

                Because I knew they would. If I were them, I would have, so I’m absolutely positive they would.

                I got off the stage as fast as I could without causing anymore of a scene and went straight to the back, walking passed Hana, who looked like she wanted to say something. I laid HanMi down on a row of chairs and used one of the guys’ jackets as a pillow for her. Her eyes fluttered closed and she was out in seconds.

                “So—“

                “No, we’re not talking about it.” I said, turning my back to face Hana and busying myself with organizing the already organized gifts.

                “Look, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cause—“

                “Hana.” I stood up and looked at her. “We’re not talking about it.”

                “But—“

                “So.” YongGuk’s voice cut through us. I groaned and turned away, not wanting to talk to him at the moment. I could hear Hana sighing.

                “YongGuk, not now.” She said quietly.

                “No, wait, this is serious.”

                “It can seriously wait.”

                “But—“

                “You’re making it worse!” I turned around to glare at him. “Now your fans probably can figure it out by now if they didn’t already know. Go back!”

                “I can’t leave you like this.” He said, crossing his arms and giving me a stubborn look. It was the same stubborn look HanMi gave me when I tried to make her eat something she didn’t like.

                I walked over, grabbed him by the arm and started him steering him back to the stage. “You can and you will. I’m fine.”

                “I can tell when you’re not—“

                “I’m fine.”

                “So—“

                “Get back up there.” I hissed, stopping right behind the stage. “We’ll talk after, I promise.” He looked uncertain for a while, but then he nodded and climbed back onto the stage and took his seat. As soon as he was on the stage, the fans started yelling out lots of questions and although I couldn’t hear them, I had an idea of what they were asking.

                I went back to behind the stage and stayed there for the rest of the event. Luckily it didn’t last much longer.

                The car ride back to the dorm was quiet for the most part.

                “One fan asked me about HanMi.” Jongup said, pulling his headphones out and looking at me. I looked up from my phone. He gave me a half-smile. “I didn’t tell her that HanMi was actually any of ours’ but she kind of figured it out on her own. She seemed okay with it. Just thought you would like to know that, noona.” I gave him a grateful smile and went back to my phone.

                Everyone else went back to the dorm, but YongGuk and I walked down to the nearest café.

                “I don’t know about you, but I don’t like us being all awkward around each other.” He said, spinning his cup around on the table. I stared at the cup as it spun while I thought of his words.

                “Me neither.” I said after a while. “It’s weird for me. I want to go back to normal but I don’t know how anymore since…”

                “Everything’s so different.” He nodded, still spinning the cup. He sighed. “So where does that leave us?”

                I chewed on my lower lip in thought for a while. “Let’s figure out parenting first.” I replied. “When we can get parenting down, maybe we can figure out how to go back to normal. Or maybe we can make a new normal.” I shrugged.

                YongGuk smiled, looking up at me. “A new normal? I like that.”

                I smiled back at him. “Me too.”

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i should stop updating at such late times at night....i should go to sleep......

but i can't sleep :/ boooo!! haha XD

i'm just here, listening to bruno mars and writing this and wrapped in a blanket cause it's freezing in my room and i'm too lazy to go and get a jacket...yep. i'm THAT lazy late at night. i won't even get a jacket when i'm cold. so sue me.

no wait, please don't. i have no money.

haha wow XD

thanks for reading~