Bolting upright, Kyung adjusting his shirt as if it had been stretched.  I sat up, pulling my legs back to my chest.

                “Hey, man, what’s up?” Kyung greeted his friend casually.

                “Sorry!  I didn’t know you were here.  The window was open, so…”  I studied him as his voice trailed off.  He was only half inside the window.  “Hey, Dani.”  He looked at me with a strained smile on his face.  I saw him as uncomfortable, not jealous.  “Sorry, dude.  I didn’t mean to block you,” Ji Ho added looking back to Kyung.  Oh, not what I wanted to hear.  “I’ll leave.  Dani, we can talk later.  Sorry.”  I tried not to let my face show the true fear I felt in my heart at the thought of him leaving.  Talk about backfire.

                Kyung laughed easily and hopped off the bed.  “It’s cool, Ji Ho.  I was going to leave soon anyway,” he said with a smile.  He looked so at ease.  He should be an actor.  He bent to pick up his sneakers near my bed before leaning over me.  He pressed his cheek to mine making it look like he was kissing me goodbye.  “Don’t screw this up.  He’s right where you want him,” he breathed into my ear.  “Now, laugh as flirty as you can.”  I forced a giggle, but I don’t know how flirty it sounded.  “Close enough.”

                He pulled away and turned back to Ji Ho, who was now standing awkwardly inside my room but hovering by the window.  “Kyung, you don’t have to leave.”

                “It’s cool, really,” Kyung said, slipping his sneakers on and throwing one leg out the window.  “We can continue later, right, Jo Jo?” he called to me.

                I tried giggling again and waved him off in an attempt to look shy.

                “Later,” Kyung said to no one in particular as he hoisted himself out my window.

                I can do this.  I can do this.  I’m smooth.  I’m not awkward.  I clenched my jaw.  I was, however, still half .

                I patted the spot on my bed in front of me.  “Come here.  How was your date, Ji Ho?” I asked, thankful my voice didn’t sound strange.

                He hesitated and then came over to the bed.  He still looked tense.  “It was fine.  We just went to dinner and the arcade,” he replied with a shrug.  “Hey, I’m really sorry I interrupted.  I-I didn’t know you guys were…”

                I felt my face blush all over again.  “No, it’s fine, really.”  Ji Ho nodded and sat cautiously on the edge of the bed.  Hm.  Maybe Kyung was right about, well, everything.

                “Sorry,” he apologized again.  “I just never saw you…like this…”  He was eyeing my outfit.  Then he laughed, if I didn’t know him better, I’d say he was slightly embarrassed.  “I didn’t know you had it in you to dress like that.”

                Now I was embarrassed.  “Oh, yeah well Kyung, he…”

                “Totally, I get it,” he interrupted, compelling a laugh to come out.  My shoulders hunched forward as I hugged my legs closer to my chest.  My tank top strap slid off my shoulder.  Ji Ho reached for it, but stopped himself.  Hand in the air, he faltered and pointed.  “Your, uh, strap…”

                Maybe this wasn’t working how I’d hoped it would.  What did I hope for?  That he’d go into a jealous rage and burst in here, kick Kyung out, throw me down on the bed, and tell me how much he loves me?  I’m delusional.  Too caught up in a fantasy world.

                “Thanks,” I sighed, pushing up my own strap so that it was back in its place.  I wanted to burst into tears.  Ji Ho and I were never awkward with each other.  I began to push myself off the bed.  “I’m making you uncomfortable.  I’ll go get changed.”

                He reached out and caught my wrist.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t, no it’s alright.  I’m ok,” he said. He shook his head and smiled, more comfortably this time.  “I was thrown off a little, seeing you like this.  With him…”  He furrowed his brow and then lifted his eyebrows and smiled again.  “It’s fine.”

                “Ok…”  I sat back and stretched my legs out in front of me, putting my feet in his lap.

                “Do you really like Kyung?” he asked after a moment.  He looked up from my feet at me.  “Are you guys, like, official now?”

                I desperately searched his eyes for a sign of jealousy.  Anger.  Some emotion.  Any emotion, but I saw nothing.  His face was a blank slate.  I don’t know what came over me.

                “Aw,” I cooed, pulling my feet underneath me and patting his cheeks.  “Is my little Ji Ho jealous?”  I made sure my tone was playful and light, but deep down, I wanted to ask him – to beg him – to tell me what he was really feeling.  To tell me what he thought when he saw me in bed with Kyung.  He laughed a real laugh, the kind I was so addicted to.  He swatted at my hands. 

                “Jealous?” he scoffed.  He brushed a hand over his shoulder.  “I’m Woo. Ji. Ho.  I don’t do jealous.”  I giggled, but my eyes stung.  “I just want to know if I’m being left out of some good news.”

                “No good news yet,” I told him simply.  I swallowed hard, but smiled through it.

                “You guys are cute.  You’ll tell me when he asks you to be his girlfriend, right?”

                “Of course.  You’ll be the first to know.”  I slung my feet back into his lap and laid back.  “Now, tell me about your date with Natalie.”  Slowly, I thought, make the pain last as long as you want.

                “So, listen,” he began again after telling me about all the games he and Natalie played and what they ate for dinner.  He distractedly traced a finger over my top foot.  “We’re technically on spring break from school now and I was thinking of asking Natalie to be my girlfriend because I’m done with all this ‘tip toeing around the subject’ thing.  I’m too nervous to talk to her about it before hand, so I think I’m going to do something really romantic with her.  You know, one last shove in the direction of Ji Ho.”  He paused to laugh.  “Then just ask her.  She can’t say no if she finds me adorable and irresistible.  Right?”

                I blinked slowly.  Keep breathing, I told myself.  Don’t waiver.  “She wouldn’t say no,” I assured him.

                He smiled and patted my foot.  “Yeah.  So, here’s my idea.  Tell me if it’s lame, ok?  I don’t want to do it if it’s stupid.  Help me fix it.  I need a girl’s point of view.”

                “Ok.”  Stay focused.  Stay monotone.

                “Ok!”  His face lit up, but mine didn’t fall.  “I was thinking of setting up a picnic lunch for her in the park near that mall, you know?”  I nodded.  “Yeah, there.  Except, it’d be more of a picnic dinner because I want to do it at night.  I saw that in a drama once.  That’s cute, right?  I mean I’d think it was stupid, but she’s a girl.  Girls find that kind of dumb stuff romantic, right?  Don’t they?”

                Blink.  Blink.  Breathe.  “I think they would find it romantic.”  I find it romantic.

                “Right?  The girl in the movie really liked it.  She got all teary eyed and all that!  She will think it’s cute, too, right?”

                “Yes, I bet she will think it’s cute.”  I think it’s cute.

                “I want it to be a surprise though.  I was thinking, maybe you could call her one night and tell her you want to hang out.  Do something with the girls or something, you know?  Tell her to meet you guys at the park, but when she gets there, it’ll be me waiting for her!”

                I nodded and smiled.  He didn’t ask a question, so I don’t have to talk.

                “Honest, it’s not lame?”

                “Honest, it’s not lame,” I said.  Blink.  Blink.  Breathe.

                He clapped his hands, his grin widening.  “So will you help me?”

                Blink.  Blink.  Breathe.  “Yes, I will help you.”

                He pushed my feet out of his lap and came over to sit next to me.  He hugged me tight and thanked me.  He wrapped an arm around my shoulders.  “You’re the best, Dani.”

                I cuddled close to his side.

                Yeah, I’m the best.