There was a tension in the air as they gathered around the dinner table when Taemin got home from school later that night. Not very heavy, but noticeable. Like when you knew someone was about to say something but didn’t know how. And they all knew that Jonghyun had something to say.

All except Taemin, who was happily eating away while humming on their latest song. He seemed to sense something, though, as Jonghyun finally opened his mouth to speak and looked up at him with big, serious eyes. Kibum squirmed a little in his seat. The way they were seated around the table weren’t exactly helping either, what with his seat next to Jonghyun’s. Especially when he was hyper aware of him at the moment. Taemin and Minho sat across from them and Jinki at the shorter end of the table.

“I... I have something to say... or rather, make clear.” Jonghyun managed to get out after a few openings and closings of his mouth. “I’m dating someone.”

Taemin’s mouth fell open and all the food that was currently in there became visible. Minho let out a sigh and Jinki only looked down into his glass of water while Kibum’s heart stopped and he almost choked on his food. It didn’t matter that he already knew. It still hurt like hell.

After a few seconds of silence Jonghyun opened his mouth again.

“Well?” he asked tentatively looking down. He apparently found his plate of food extremey interesting at the moment.

They were all looking at him but no one said a thing. The world seemed to become painfully frozen. It was like time had stopped until Jinki took a careful sip of water as if deciding what to say, then he set his mouth.

“Taemin close your mouth before the food falls out.” Was the first thing he said but his eyes never left Jonghyun who was now looking at the leader. Taemin did as he was told still staring at Jonghyun. “I have guesses but I am going to ask you anyway. Who is it?”

Jonghyun swallowed and glanced at Taemin who was chewing as fast as he could to get his mouth free.

“Shin... Shin Sekyung.”

Kibum bit his lip to hide the fact that he could hardly breathe. He had met Sekyung once and he had liked her. He thought she was a sweet girl and had actually wanted to be friends with her. Now he wasn’t so sure.

“Are you going to make it public?” Minho asked with a frown.

Jonghyun nodded slightly looking nervous. “Our companies have talked and decided that that was for the better since more and more people have started to notice.”

“But...” Taemin said after he had swallowed hard and the unproperly chewed food had gone down his throat, leaving tears in his eyes. “The noonas...”

“Yes, I know Taemin. But what am I supposed to do?” Jonghyun said and then sighed. “I just want to know if you’re going to have a problem with it or not.”

“As long as you’re careful not to make a mistake I have no problem with you dating and apparently not our company either.” Jinki said giving him a small smile.

Jonghyun smiled back and turned to Minho. He shrugged and went back to his food.

“As long as you know what you’re doing and you’re happy.” Was all he had to say.

“I’m on your side of course, Hyung!” Taemin said brightly when Jonghyun looked at him and started to stuff his mouth with food again.

Kibum knew it was his turn now and dreaded the moment when he had to turn his face towards Jonghyun. He had started eating again to buy time and to distract his brain from sending signals of nervousness to his sweat pores. He had absolutely no idea what he was going to say.

He glanced at Jonghyun out of the corner of his eye and got caught in his chocolate brown eyes that were looking at him expectantly but also with a bit of worry.

Kibum cleared his throat. He had to do this. He was his best friend, for God's sake!

“If... if you’re happy then...” he said with a shrug and Jonghyun blinded him with a smile so bright it could outshine the sun.

“Thank you guys!” he said happily and added in broken English: “I love you.”

Kibum could feel his cheeks getting faintly red and looked up to se Jinki eyeing him curiously. He stuck out his tongue at him and went back to eating but his mind kept replaying that phrase over and over in his head. He could only wish that those words were meant for him and him alone.

Kibum tried his hardest the next day to keep his eyes away from Jonghyun during their morning dance practice because one: he would probably not be able to stop looking at him and that would only result in torturing himself and two: the others would definitely notice something wasn’t right.

There was a third reason too. Jonghyun had a girlfriend and Kibum didn’t want to be a person that longed for someone who was already taken. He didn’t like those kind of people.

He also caught Jinki looking at him a few times to make sure he was okay but otherwise everything seemed normal to the outside eye. Kibum could almost convince himself again (it was always worth a try) that he had just misinterpreted the whole thing with his feelings yesterday until Jonghyun’s phone rang during their brake and he picked it up with the widest smile Kibum had ever seen on his face. Kibum’s heart fell to his stomach and he felt like vomiting since the feeling made him so sick of himself. He clutched his stomach with both hands unconsciously.

Jinki saw the change in Kibum, went straight up to him and pulled him by the arm towards the door saying something about the bathroom to the others over his shoulder.

When they were out of sight Jinki grabbed Kibum’s shoulders and shook him gently.

“Key, pull yourself together. Please. I realise that you have been putting up an act for some time now but if you’re not going to be able to take it you have to talk to him.”

“I don’t want to!” Kibum realised that he sounded like a stubborn four-year-old and his cheeks burned. “Do you know what it could do to the band, Onew?!”

“But what is it doing to you?” Jinki’s voice rose slightly form exasperation. “Without you there is no band!”

“Just... just let me be, okay?” Kibum said and tried to sound a little kinder. He could see that Jinki was really worried not only just for him but for their band as well. “I’ll be fine. I won’t do anything that would hurt us.”

“That’s not-”

The practice room door opened and Taemin poked his head out.

“Onew-hyung! Key-hyung! We’re ready to start again.”

Jinki smiled at him.

“Thank you, Taemin, we’re coming.”

Taemin gave them a big smile and went inside again. Jinki turned to Kibum once more.

“Whatever you do, don’t do it half-heartedly. The other two are bound to notice something if you aren’t careful and it doesn’t seem like you want that. I can’t say anything about Jonghyun except that he’s actually more unpredictable than any of us, remember that.”

Then he his heel and walked back into the practice room. Kibum followed him with a frown. Half-heartedly? Since when had Kibum done anything half-heartedly?

He had to admit, however, that things were going badly for him throughout the rest of the day. It was like he had no control over his body anymore and he kept messing up so bad that he even made the ‘Onew-condition’ look like no condition at all. All because of that small text followed by that big smile. Kibum dreaded what seeing them together would do to him if only that managed to throw him off his track. It was lucky for him that they didn’t have any performances or shows to do that day. The other members gave him weird looks and questioning gazes but all he could do was smile and say that he hadn’t gotten any sleep, which was partly true since he couldn’t stop tossing and turning while thinking of how happy Jonghyun had looked when he had told them about Sekyung and gotten their blessings last night.

Later, when they all were picked up by their driver, Jinki deliberately pushed Kibum to the back of the van and seated himself beside him so that the other three were forced to sit in front, thus altering their predetermined seating, although no one seemed to mind. Kibum gave him a glare for pushing him but all Jinki did was to give him his typical big smile.

Minho and Taemin continued to talk about their new TV game without a second thought about where they were sitting and Jonghyun was checking his phone every few seconds for messages which irritated Kibum to no end. Although, where he normally would have ed about it he decided to just ignore it and discuss with Jinki about their dinner (that wasn’t the best of ideas since all the man wanted to eat was chicken). Once again, everything felt almost back to normal now that Kibum didn’t have to force anything because he was sitting too close to Jonghyun and he thanked the heavens (and Jinki) for that. He was afraid he would go insane sooner or later if this continued and welcomed every ‘normal’ moment he could get.

Of course Jonghyun decided to ruin that. Kibum couldn’t really blame him, though, because the only one who knew anything was Jinki after all.

It all came smack back into Kibum when Jonghyun’s phone chimed, indicating that he had gotten a text message. None of the others doubted who it was and sure enough, Jonghyun got that never seen before smile on his face. Kibum decided to name that expression love struck, cross-eyed muppet which wasn’t really a good name at all since Jonghyun looked more handsome but at the same time puppy-like with that smile. And in Kibum’s mind it rendered him absolutely adorable. It managed to send Kibum’s heart in such a frenzy that he was amazed he didn’t have a heart attack right then and there.

Jonghyun turned in his seat a little and his eyes swept over everyone quickly before going back to the screen on his phone with a pondering expression, then back up again. Kibum purposefully didn’t meet his eyes like he usually would have and looked out of the window instead. He could see Jonghyun frown a little in confusion from the corner of his eye.

“Guys,” Jonghyun broke the conversations held in the car, “would it be okay if Sekyung stopped by later? She wants to meet you now that you know.”

Taemin lit up in a smile. “Of course, Hyung! I’ve always wanted to meet her, too, anyway!”

Minho nodded. Jinki looked at Kibum and seemed about to protest on his behalf but Kibum beat him to it.

“Sure,” he forced his mouth to smile but the rest of his body felt ice-cold. He was looking at a spot somewhere above Jonghyun’s eyebrows so as not to look him in the eye and reveal himself, “you should ask if she wants to eat with us, too.”

Jonghyun lit up.

“I’ll do that!” he said excitedly.

He could feel Jinki’s eyes on him but ignored their questions for the rest of the ride and sat in silence staring out of the window watching the city lights blur by. After a while Kibum saw the reflection of Jinki in the window give up trying to catch his eye and joining Minho’s and Taemin’s conversation instead.

Kibum sighed, put on his earphones and pressed play on his mp3. He had no wish whatsoever to think about anything so he put all the concentration he had into the lyrics of the songs on his playlist, but unfortunately it seemed impossible to ignore the numbness that settled over him. Kibum had no idea what was happening to him. At all. He was so scared he felt like lying curled up under his blankets and crying his heart out. He didn’t want to be in love with his best friend, especially if it meant that he would be homoual. How would he ever explain this to his parents? His grandmother?

Kibum shivered. He didn’t even want to think of that.

Back at the dorm Kibum went straight to the kitchen to prepare dinner. He really needed to do something in order to take away the numbness.

Jinki followed him to help even though it was actually his turn to cook dinner. Jonghyun hurried to shower and the other two were playing their new game.

“You know, Key, you’re going to add more salt to your own wound like this.” Jinki said in a low voice after a few moments of working in silence.

He was sitting at the table and cutting scallions while Kibum was at the stove trying to make something edible while World War III was breaking lose inside his head, one side fighting for getting over Jonghyun and the other for claiming him as his own.

“What would you have me do then?” Kibum snapped at him without turning around. “Should I have a fit only because I didn’t get something I wanted?”

Jinki let out a short laugh and Kibum him looking dangerous. He quickly controlled his expression.

“That’s usually the case with you.” He muttered and went back to cutting.

Kibum narrowed his eyes at him. “Shut up! I will have a fit at you if you don’t cut those scallions faster, since you’re so keen on the idea.”

Jinki looked up at Kibum with wide eyes. “Please don’t. I’m innocent.”

Kibum smiled devilishly and scoffed. “Yeah right.”

But he turned back to the stove and Jinki let out a sigh of relief. Kibum almost laughed. He knew how hard he was to calm down if he started one of his infamous outbreaks.

The doorbell rang then, and it made Kibum’s heart stop a moment only to speed up at an amazing rate and make his stomach roll with nervousness. The only thing that managed to run through his head as Jonghyun ran to open the door was a prayer that he wouldn’t make a complete fool of himself.

A/N:

Soo, chapter 2... comments are welcome! :)