He appeares and disappears unexpectedly, and Kyungsoo knows that it's normal for him. It's normal for a Kim Jongin to suddenly vanish in a second. It's normal for Kim Jongin to appear faded and worn out, to appear in a form of a hazy cloud, in a form of just a head. He knows, but Kyungsoo still refused to believe it.

Kyungsoo sees him in his peripheral- sometimes bored, sometimes jumping excitedly, sometimes staring at him, and rarely, eyebrows furrowed in disgust, in loathing. But when he focuses on him, he just disappears into the thin air, leaving Kyungsoo hanging and leaves him yearning to see him more.

In his head, he knows it was not real, Jongin- Jongin disappeared from the surface of earth years ago, when something fatal turned it's back on him.

Jongin was buried deep in the surfaces of earth, body crushed under those bloodied rocks and, ultimately, not even breathing.

Kyungsoo knows.

And he can't just let go.

And sometimes, he just wonders why he didn't even feel remorse when his own car slammed against Jongin's body years ago, sending Jongin into the somewhere that even he, Kyungsoo, can't even reach, and can't even see.

Kyungsoo wonders why can't he feel anything again.

Now it's just numb dullness.

And an aching pain that seemed to never fade away.