Dinner with Big Bang

It's complicated!

 

Omma said i should wear something nice (a dress) for dinner.. I just took out my jeans and t shirts... I dont like wearing dresses... 
 
Mimi: omma why are u wearing a dress to dinner?
Mom: it's a dinner with someone special!
Mimi: who?
Mom: someone.. Why arent you all dressed up?
Mimi: am i ?
Mom: aigooo just wear the dress like i asked you too!
Mimi: but i dont want to!! It's just dinner omma! -,-
Mom: WEAR IT OR STARVE 
 
{at the dinner}
 
GD: CL!! Where is she? 
TOP,Dae&Seungri: yeah where is she?
CL: chill dudes!!
YB: (where is she?)
 
Mom: ohh im sorry for being late! Hello big bang :) 
CL: ahjumma! Why do you look like you've just been bitten by a tiger ?
Mom: long story...
YB: um Ahjumma where's mimi?
Mom: oh she's right there..
YB: oh okay..
Mimi: gahhhhh why is big bang there? If he sees me im dead! OMMA!! YAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
YB: ouch *rubs his ears* you look like a quiet girl but your really loud...
Mimi: ahh mianhe!!
YB: woahhh... *look up and down at mimi*
Mimi: what?! 
YB: nothing is just that i never seen a beautiful women like you before...
Mimi: umm *blushing*
YB: oh im sorry ... It just spilled out..
Mimi: oh thanks btw... :) 
GD: YB who are you talking to? Dangg mimss you look finee... 
Mimi: thanks *rolls eye*
GD: why are you guys sitting here (like on the ground)?? Lets go and have dinner :) *runs back to the table*
YB: let's go :) *hands over his hand*
mimi: ohh thanks *takes his hand* *face down while walking*
YB:  (woahh she didnt reject my hand... Stop it YB!! She's just a friend!)
TOP: hey YB! what's that? *Pointing at YB's and Mimi's hands*
mimi: *pulls her hands* *and quickly sat beside her mom* *without making eye contact to anyone*
Seungri: ahjumma what did to you until you look like that?
Mom: honestly it's because --
Mimi: *covers moms mouth* OMMA LETS JUST EAT & GET THIS OVER AND DONE WITH!!
 
Yahhhhh!!! Such an embaressing night!!!! Why did i even go? I should just stay at home and starve! Grrrr but YB is so nice to me :) eventhough i was quite rude for just letting go of his hands just like that.. But i really enjoy holding his hands! YAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
 
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DYBismine
Honestly it's not completed yet.. I'm kinda new to this stuffs so im not sure how too :)

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DYBismine #1
Park_HyeSun thanks for the advice. I'm kinda new to this thing so can you tell me how can i make it uncomplete like on going?
Park_HyeSun #2
Well, well...

First things first. I usually only read completed stories, regardless of charcters used as long as it is not M-rated or /yuri. As this story of yours is marked as completed, I have read it. But to my surprise, it doesn't seem to have ended properly! :o

If you're looking for some constructive advice for your writing, I'm only going to point out two. (: I'd suggest that you refrain from using your smiley emoticons in the story as it appears to be both distracting and unprofessional. Secondly, usually people don't write in dialogue form. ^^

Keep on writing! If I have offended you in any way, I am truly sorry.