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YEAR 2000 – ENGLAND - FLASHBACK

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It was early in the morning, yet the market was already filled with customers. Everyone was rushing around busily like a swarm of colourful insects, neglecting the chaotic world around them. The day itself was dry and so hot, that you could see the heat waves travelling in the distance. The heat was almost irritating to handle, hence no one bothered to say much except from those who were trying to sell their goods.

“Hey everyone, look at these freshly ripe apples! They’re delicious and cheap! 6 apples for just £1! Come and buy whilst they’re still available!” The ten year old Steph shouted, so people would actually pay attention to their stall. She was trying to get customers, whilst her mother took care of the till.

Then, someone caught her eye. It was the fourteen year old Ryeowook who huddled himself in the corner, away from all the stalls. She kept gazing at him, hoping that he would somehow notice her, but he refused to given look up, let alone look at her. It was probably due to his loneliness that motivated her to approach him with an apple in her hand.

“Hey, are you ok?” She spoke in English which he could not comprehend. She observed him, trying to guess which nationality he was. “你是中国人吗？(Are you Chinese?)” She asked in Chinese, but he didn’t seem to understand that either. Nevertheless, she handed him the apple before she went back to the stall to look for a pen and a piece of paper.

Ryeowook’s eyes followed her as he munched down his apple. He was thankful that someone was actually willing to help him, even if it was out of pity. When she went back to him, she made hand gestures to tell him to draw pictures so they could communicate. Then, what surprised her was the fact that he was writing in Chinese.

我是韩国人(I’m Korean) – He wrote, before explaining why he was alone in England. It appeared that he lost contact with his school whilst they were visiting England for a trip. She advised him to tell the police, so if his school was looking for him, the police would know where he was. He was invited to stay with Steph and her family until his school found him. It didn’t take long before they started to get fond of each other.

Two days later, the police contacted them, saying his teacher is down at the police station. He was sad to depart with his new friend, yet he had faith that one day they would meet again. So he bought a matching necklace and key ring. He gave the necklace to her whilst he kept the key ring for himself.

Just before he left, he wrote another note, saying: ‘Remember to come to Korea one day!’

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END FLASHBACK

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“I thought you came to Korea because of me. Why are you avoiding me?” Ryeowook asked confusedly with his solemn eyes. He was anticipating on the day they meet again, now that they have; he wished that they never did. If they never saw each other again, then in his heart he would still regard her as a friend. The fact that she was avoiding him, acting like she didn’t know him, just made his hope shatter.

Steph eyed him sharply in the eye, giving him the look which appeared to have said a thousand words. Yet, they were words which he couldn’t comprehend.

“I did come here because of you. I did.” She confessed as she dug her nails into her hand. Her anger seemed to have concentrated itself in , forming a stone, blocking the air going in or out, slowly suffocating her. “And I regret it.” She added weakly which made Ryeowook back away a little. “When I first came to Korea, the first thing I did was to look for you. In the end, I found you.” She sighed gravely as her voice was getting huskier after every word she spoke. “I regret coming here, I really do.”

“Did I do something wrong? What do you mean? If you found me, why didn’t you talk to me?”

“You were the one who wouldn’t talk to me.” She swallowed hard as her head hung from her neck. “When I was about to say ‘hello’, you walked straight passed me to greet your girlfriend. What did you want me to do? Create a commotion in front of your girlfriend? I have shame too you know. Since you didn’t want to talk to me, I got your message. I’m not stupid; I don’t need you to tell it to my face.” She scoffed a chuckled before she decided to leave.

Ryeowook just stood there, absorbing every word she said whilst staring at the necklace which was still in his hands. It finally became clear to him like a clear blue sky after the stormy clouds.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, even though he knew that she wouldn’t be able to hear.

---

After SHINee’s performance, Key and Renee went to sit on the roof to talk things through until the subject landed on Karen.

“How is she? Studying well?” He forced a smile on his lips as he decided not to get angry over his breakup anymore, since Renee wasn’t even involved in it. Even though he was staring at the calm, dark blue sky, where stars shimmered brightly onto him, telling him that hope had not been lost in the darkness, he could not help but feel like a lost, helpless soul in the shadows.

When Renee stared at the limitless sky, she viewed it differently. To her, it was like the stars were twinkling in rage, pressuring her to break the truth to him. The sky itself was like a blanket, wrapping itself around her like a rope, threatening her with its darkness. She rubbed her thumbs together to encourage herself to tell him everything. Yet her friendship with Karen was like a brick wall, restraining her from doing so. If she chose to reveal to him the truth about her, the wall would break and it would possibly cause the end of their friendship. However, she knew that if she took up the courage to explain to him, he would surly replace her to look after Karen.

“She never left Korea.” She finally managed to say, yet her sentence caused him to stare at her awkwardly. Renee saw how lost he was from her sentence and guilt diverted her eyes away from his. She was probably the only one who had an insight in both their lives, therefore making it her responsibility to help them be together again.

Soon, she reached into her bag for the canvas which Karen drew of him and wrote her feelings on. “Have a look at this. She wanted to bin it but I thought you should look at it before it disappears for good.”

Shakily, he took the canvas into his hands. Reading the words one by one, recognising the unmistakeable, familiar handwriting. With every word he read, he could imagine her crying. He could feel the pain she felt. Tears began to disperse from his eyelids, planting new seeds of tears until they overflowed in a matter of seconds.

“Babo.” His lips quivered frenziedly whilst his fingers hovered over the canvas. “Where is she?” He looked into Renee’s eyes with his teary, hopeful ones; like he had just found a long lost treasure.

“Tomorrow, I’ll let you two meet tomorrow.” She promised, causing him to smile delightfully.

-

Clenching his fists from afar was Jonghyun. He noticed how intimate the two of them were. He also acknowledged the fact that they knew each other from before, but somehow an unexplainable rage ran through his veins. He wanted to ask about their relationship, yet he was too afraid that the answer would tear him to pieces. After the ‘accidents’ he and Renee had been through, she probably hated him to bits he thought.

How could he fall in love so easily? He asked himself, but he didn’t have the answer to it. All he knew was that he was somehow attracted to this girl called Renee, and that he was jealous when she was close with other guys. It was simple, but to him it was absurd. The thought, the feeling - it was ridiculous. So ridiculous that he just wanted to get rid of it all. So he compressed all his feelings into one cell and locked it safely in the chamber within his brain. Praying that one day, the feeling would just fade away.

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THE NEXT DAY

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Karen arrived in the park which Renee told her to go. She waited and waited, but still no sign of her.

“Karen?” She heard her name and she had the urge to spin around to see who it was, but she stopped herself once she recognised the owner of the voice. It was clear - she was tricked by her beloved unnie. The person she didn’t want to see most just happened to be right behind her.

“Karen, it’s me. Key.” Karen closed her eyes as she inhaled deeply to stop her unnecessary tears from tumbling shamelessly down. Reluctantly, she turned her body around to face him.

“L-long time no see.” She stuttered incomprehensively, not knowing what else she could say to him.

“I heard you’re now a trainee in SM. I never knew you were into singing. Why didn’t you come to say ‘hi’ to me?” He said awkwardly.

What he really wanted to do was to hold her in his arms, whilst asking why she was so foolish. However, he didn’t want to make it appear as though he was blaming her because he knew that all the things she did, she did it for him.

“You were always so busy. I just didn’t want to become a bother. How have you been?” She quickly spoke before the atmosphere between them could get any more awkward.

“I’ve been good, I could be better though. You?” His eyes wandered to every corner of his vision as he tried to divert them away from her.

“Same here.”

“I love you.” He finally cried with his trembling hoarse voice, which startled her, since the phrase seemed so out of the blue. He couldn’t take it any longer as the questions were simply too pressurising for him to handle.

“Why, Karen? Why? I tried to hate you, I tried to forget you, but at the end of the day the person I think of is still you! Before I go on that stage, the person I think about is you. Before I sleep, I still think about you! I asked myself, what I’ve done for you to be so cruel to me! I love you, I really do love you. Karen, please. If you just tell me you love me, we can start again. We can forget everything which happened before.” He stared at her with his pathetic, pitiable eyes, but Karen just shook her head in disagreement.

“Things can never be the way they were before. Everything’s different! We can’t go back. The day I broke up with you I was already prepared to leave everything behind and…”

“YOU LIED!” He cut her off. “Renee told me all about it. You still love me yet you continue to deny it. If we both love each other, why can’t we be together? Why?” He shouted like a kid who was throwing a tantrum.

“If I never let you go, do you really think you’ll be in SHINee right now? In this world, we have something called money so we can exchange goods with it. The same goes with what happens in our lives. You can only gain when you lose something. You exchange things, which is why there isn’t a single perfect human out there. If we’re together, what would you be willing to lose?” She spoke in her challenging tone of voice, as she was sure she had won their little ‘battle’. She wasn’t expecting an answer, yet he answered it without hesitation.

“The days of being in SHINee could not be compared with days being with you, because even though I’m in SHINee, I still think of you.” He sniffed once he could feel a twinge in his nose. “Why don’t we make a deal? One week, just be together for one week. If you still want to leave me at that point, then I won’t hold you back. Just give me one week, please?” He pleaded sincerely.

Karen thought to herself, considering the deal was only for a week, she obviously had the advantage. All she needed to do was reject him after the week ended, and then it would be all over for good.

-----

Kira sat in the canteen scratching her head in frustration. Creating a scandal for an artist in order to make the netizens go insane wasn’t a difficult task at all, but it wasn’t easy either. To make them go crazy, she would need a series of photos as well as a good variety, so they can’t make any excuses like; ‘oh, they’re just hanging out with their friends’ etc.

She poked the pea on her plate before she released a burdensome sigh. Wondering why she was actually working for the Headquarters in the first place. Then again, without the Headquarters, she probably wouldn’t be alive. If they didn’t save her that day, she would’ve been gobbled up by the pack of wolves.

When she was young, she went to an amusement park with her family. Unfortunately, she got lost amongst the crowded people. Strangers tried to ‘lead her back to her parents’, when in reality they were trying to sell her as a slave. When she finally managed to escape from them, she was acquainted with the wolves. She doesn’t even know if she should consider herself lucky or not. She was saved by the Headquarters, but now she must face their daily threats. Would it have better if she just served herself on a plate as wolf food?  

Then, out of nowhere, Kyuhyun appeared in front of her face, breaking her chain of thoughts.

“Why are you eating alone?” He asked with his mischievous voice as he inserted a spoonful of rice into his mouth.

“Because I want to?”

“No you don’t. You want to eat with the amazing Kyuhyun!” His pompous behaviour just made her roll her eyes. It always amused her, how he could act so childishly and shameless.

Suddenly, a thought triggered itself and placed a devious smirk between her cheeks.

“Kyuhyun-ah, lets go and play.” She couldn’t help but stumble on her own words. It was the first time she had ever said something like that to him, and she was pretty sure that he was eying her strangely even though she wasn’t looking. He simply blinked absentmindedly with the infamous ‘are-you-serious?’ expression engraved onto his face.

“What? You don’t want to play with me?” She raised an eyebrow.

“No, no. It’s not like that. It’s just, why all of the sudden?” He instantly objected with his hands in the air to emphasize his point.

“I just really want to go to park, and everyone’s busy right now.”

“I-I’ll go with you.” He stuttered inarticulately. 

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When they arrived, Kira ran towards the slide like a toddler, which pasted a massive smile onto his lips since he had never seen her so happy before. The fact that she was happy made his heart warm. She was like his seasons, controlling the weather in his heart. Even if she only said one word to him, it would cause his heart to beat frantically, creating hurricanes in all directions. That was how much he cherished her. He didn’t mind not letting her know about his feelings, because as long as she was in front of him healthy and happy, nothing else mattered.

“Ya! Come here and push me!” Her yell interrupted his thoughts and obediently, he did as he was told like a puppy. He jogged towards the swings and pushed her gently like a father would to his child.

“Hey! Did you not eat?! Why do you push like a girl?!” She remarked which made Kyuhyun push her harder until she was high in the sky like a bird. She enjoyed it. It was like the weight on her shoulders just disappeared with the wind, and she was free from Headquarters. She truly wished for a pair of wings, so she could just fly away and forget about the world in front of her.

“Are you having fun?” He chuckled.

“Stop me! I want to take pictures now.” She said in her playful tone. After Kyuhyun held the swing in place, which stopped the swing from swinging, she dug into her bag to get her digital camera. “Come closer you idiot. I can’t get you into the picture.” She complained.

He stood there dumbfounded, since it wasn’t like her to ask for a photo together. He sensed that something wasn’t right, but even if it was a trap, he was willing to fall into it. She removed his sunglasses, before holding the camera in front of them.

“Say cheese.” She grinned with her peace sign.

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