Okies~ so I promised Kira unnie to update this sooner because we made a deal. :D...so here it is~ Sorry...it's a bit...dragged? ^^'

“I-I…But…Unnie, please stop.”

“Haven’t you hurt him enough? Haven’t you hurt yourself enough? I can see straight through you. The moment you stepped into SM you used him, didn’t you?!” Rae’s voice rose, but that wasn’t what caused fear to climb up Renee’s face. It was the running footsteps from outside. Like a dream, reality seemed to have just faded away in the background whilst she ran after the mysterious person, whom nobody seemed to notice.

“Stop following me,” the person turned around, revealing none other than Key.

“Would you promise not to tell Jonghyun?”

“You think I’m that kind of person? You think I can just sit around and watch how my best friend gets used?” he glared at her threateningly and somehow in a disgusted manner as well.

“It’s not like that, please let me explain,” she pleaded desperately.

Suddenly, Key’s facial expression loosened. It was as if his soul had left his body, causing Renee to fear him even more because he seemed more unpredictable than ever.

“Ok,” he swallowed hard. “I’ll give you a chance to tell me. Did you use Jonghyun? What were you planning? And was Karen trying to do the same thing with me?”

“I’ll tell you everything, but don’t drag Karen along. She really did love you!”

“I’m not interested in that. My question was - was Karen trying to use me as well. And most importantly, did you use my best friend and what did you do?” he questioned sharply with his motionless expression.

“At the beginning, I tried to use Jonghyun in order to destroy the reputation of SM – this was the order I was given, but Karen...really didn’t know about this,” she finally confessed, causing Key’s eyes to widen menacingly.

“So you did use him.”

“It may have been like that to begin with, but...” but before she could finish, Key was pulled away by Jonghyun so he could face her himself. It just happened that Key knew Jonghyun was listening to their conversation and deliberately made Renee confess everything herself. Seeing the situation, Key silently made his exit.

Renee simply stared at him in bewilderment, almost choking on her own breath. It was as if she was living in a bubble which had just been burst by Jonghyun.

“You know, if you weren’t a girl I would’ve hit you right now,” Jonghyun smiled mockingly with his sorrowful eyes glaring directly into hers, sending chills down her spine.

“I’m sorry, but I...”

“Don’t you think you’ve said enough already? To be honest, even the sound of your breathing irritates me right now,” he said distastefully, turning his head away from her. Trying to avoid showing her how much pain he was holding in his chest.

“Things...have changed now.” Deep down, she knew he wouldn’t believe her, but seeing how things were, she knew it would probably be the last words she’ll be able to tell him.

“Changed? Ah, of course. Kim Jonghyun finally realised what an idiot he has been. Thank you Song Renee for waking me up from this illusion,” he uttered inarticulately as he was trying to hold back those tears.

“I love you.” Those three simple words finally slipped from . Even though they may be simple and may not be much, they truly came from her heart.

“Stop it! Shut up, shut up, shut up!” he leaned closer to her until they were only inches apart. “Stop doing this to me. Don’t you think you’ve lied enough to me? You know, if you continue like this...I might actually fall for it again,” he whispered with his futile voice – a voice which made him look pitiful and helpless.  

“I don’t want to listen to you anymore! You…used me. All the accidents that came our way, are you responsible for most of it?” His voice was weak and hoarse, which encouraged Renee to lie since she didn’t want to damage him any further. He was like a fragile piece of glass. Shiny and elegant on the outside, but it would still break easily.

However, somewhere in her conscious, she knew she shouldn’t lie to him anymore; hence she gave him an uncertain nod.

Silently, he left her. There were no extra words or tears. Yet it was clear that they had officially broken up.

Once reality finally hit her, she inched back to her dorm like a living corpse - Expressionless, soulless.

-----

Jonghyun was just sitting limply on his bed, even though the other members called him for dinner, he declined. He just sat there in the lonesome darkness, deep in thought until he felt his mobile vibrate in his trouser pocket. He reached for it, just to find it was a text from Renee. Wrath suddenly devoured his frail mind as he saw her name on his mobile screen. Nevertheless, he opened the text to see what she had to say.

--------------------------------------------

From: Renee

To: Jonghyun

Message: Oppa, have you eaten?

--------------------------------------------

He clasped his fingers around his mobile tightly, until he was shaking from his own strength. The feeling of irritation stirred within his body, sending a tingly vibe into his arm, causing him to throw his mobile against the wall.

The other members hastily charged into his room after they heard the loud crash. Once they entered the dark room, Onew immediately switched the lights on, showing them shattered pieces of Jonghyun’s broken mobile screen.

“I’ll get the hover to clear it up,” Key suggested before making his exit.

“Hyung,” Minho breathed, with a tone which was almost like he had said: ‘hyung, please don’t be like this.’

“Tell Key not to bother. Just let it stay like that,” Jonghyun muttered lifelessly.

“Hyung,” Taemin grumbled. “If we don’t clear it up, you might hurt yourself,” the youngest smile as he sat down onto his bed.

“Hurt? Can I get anymore hurt? Taemin, have you ever tried being sliced open and got your insides all trudged over? I feel as if I would suffer less if I suffered from that instead. This pain is unbearable,” his voice cracked once he mentioned the word ‘unbearable’ as if the word itself was somehow tormenting him in the first place. His hoarse, husky voice shocked the little one, since the hyung he knew always tried to look on the bright side. The hyung he knew would be the one smiling at him, telling him everything would be ok when it clearly wasn’t. Never did Taemin have the chance to comfort him because of his cheerful personality.

“Unbearable? Hyung, can you hear yourself?!” Taemin’s voice rose as Jonghyun’s ‘speech’ somehow provoked his anger. “Because of that girl, are we invisible? Just because of her importance in your heart, are you going to neglect us who had known you for way longer than her?! Are you going to forget the fans that placed their faith in you?! Do you think we’re not in pain seeing you like this?” Taemin bawled sternly, which somehow didn’t match his cute image. When Taemin noticed Jonghyun was speechless, he too left his room without another word. Minho just ran after him, just so he’ll have someone to talk to.

“As the leader, don’t I get a chance to say something? Even though Taemin is younger than you, but he does have a point. The way you are right now tells me you’re allowing her to continue with her goal which is to ruin SM’s reputation. You can’t let a girl interfere with your professionalism so easily. Just because you’re broken right now, it doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. There are probably thousands of heart broken people within this country right now. Stop thinking you’re the most depressing man on Earth. You’re no longer a child, when you fall; you need to know how to get back up,” Onew patted Jonghyun’s shoulder before walking away as well, but Key just happened to be eaves dropping by the door.

“Are you planning on lecturing me too? Don’t you think I’ve had enough?!” Jonghyun complained.

“You may not like it, but I’m still going to say it,” Key spoke directly, causing Jonghyun to roll his eyes. “Who do you think is more pitiful? You or me?”

“What?” Jonghyun furrowed his eyebrows to give him a questioning look.

“This is your first fight with Renee. I’ve broken up with Karen countless times. Every time I would pray that the next time we get back together, the same thing wouldn’t happen. I’ve only realised this recently that I’ve been living in my own lies all along. If something isn’t yours, then it’ll never be yours. It’s better to get the clear picture of why she’s with you, before you can’t stop loving her. Unlike you who can be angry at her, I can’t anymore. I still love her. Maybe getting angry can be thought as a blessing?” Unknowingly, a drop of tear formed on his face, waiting to leave his warm body. “I’m sorry, I’ll leave you alone now,” he stuttered inarticulately.

Jonghyun stared at his pale face with crimson rims around his eyes and nose. By just looking at him, Jonghyun knew Key must’ve suffered from the same feeling, or perhaps an even more dreadful one. Once Key had left, Jonghyun’s mind was suddenly calm like the sea. It was then that he realised that he was hurting everyone around him.

“Idiot. It’s like you’re comparing a devil to an angel. At least...Karen truly loved you.”

----------------------

IN THE HOSPITAL

----------------------

Slowly, Steph’s eyes opened wearily. Still in a daze, she scanned the room which had to be none other than the hospital as there was that ‘smell’. Soon, she could feel something heavy weighing down on her left hand. Once she sat upright, she saw Ryeowook asleep by her besides, holding onto her hand tightly.

Gently, she removed Ryeowook’s hand from hers so she could get up to get a blanket to cover his back. Seeing his back figure caused tears to shoot into her eyelids. She held both her hands over as she cried uncontrollably.

“Why are you doing this?” she cried sombrely. “Why would you do something you’ll regret? Why love when it wouldn’t even last long?” She knelt in front of him, embracing him from behind. “I hate you...don’t you know?” she laughed in a sadistic manner. “I’ve already committed so many sins; do you really want me to receive the worst punishment in hell?”

“You won’t go to hell...”

Steph’s eyes widened in horror as Ryeowook spoke. Slowly, she let go of him, wiping away her tears away. Ryeowook simply turned around to face her, helping her brush her tears away.

“...Because I am someone who could go to hell for you; I am someone...who would be willing to take the punishment for all your sins,” he smiled as he brushed away the loose strands of hair which was covering her face. “Does it hurt anywhere? The doctor said that if you feel pain anywhere, you should tell him as soon as possible.”

“It hurts. It really hurts.”

“Where?” He gave her his concerned expression.

“...everywhere. Seeing how you care for me. Seeing how you respond to me. Seeing how you’re wasting your time on a person who literally has no hope whatsoever. It’s something I can’t understand. It’s so difficult that it hurts. What is this? Are you doing this because you pity me?”

“Are you scared that I’m doing this out of pity?” he asked bluntly with his usual caring smile. Solemnly, she replied with a nod, causing him to grin wider. “Unfortunately, I am doing this out of pity, but the reason why I pity you is because...”

He paused. She waited. The long distant pause caused her heart to stop, only until she heard his voice again could it manage to beat again.

“...because when I see you in pain, I don’t only feel sad...I feel pain. Do you...understand what I’m trying to say?”

She simply shook her head, leading him to heave a deep long sigh before holding her in his arms.

“This weird and awkward thing which you can’t understand...is love.”

-----------

Slowly, his fingers began to flinch and his eyes were opening, allowing him to see the white flawless ceiling. Seulong’s head turned around to observe the unfamiliar empty room he was placed in.

Once he was able to regain his conscious he immediately stepped out of room with several nurses running after him. His body was aching all over, yet he was still limping around aimlessly.

“Do any of you know where Lee Stephanie is? She’s my girlfriend,” he asked the nurses.

“Ah, the one that came with you on the day you got submitted to the hospital. That was a long time ago though,” one of the nurses stated. “We need to get you checked first; you’ve been unconscious for over a month now.”

“But wait, I saw her just a moment ago with another guy. I heard she fainted on the streets. By how I saw it, I thought they were together,” another nurse mentioned which caught his attention.

“Can you lead me to her room first? I really want to see if she’s ok.”

The nurse kindly led him outside the room before disappearing into the dark corridor. Before even entering the room, Seulong could already guess what was going on.

“This weird and awkward thing which you can’t understand...is love,”Ryeowook told her.

From the small window frame which was in the centre of the door, he could see how Steph continued to cry whilst clinging onto Ryeowook - a scene which discouraged him to interfere with.

---

Rae stepped into the room where only darkness and silence dared to lurk around freely. After being raised by the man before her, she still haven’t adapted to her surroundings. Every time she entered his office, her body would naturally go intense as if each and every muscle within her body was trying to find a place to hide.

“Get department 62 ready for tonight,” the old man smirked disdainfully, motivating the disgusted feeling to stimulate.

“You could at least wait until…”

“No! This is the perfect chance! We must invade that company tonight!” The hand slammed onto the gentle surface of his desk, causing it to vibrate in fear.

“I-I…I understand.” Rae finally gave in, knowing it wouldn’t matter if she complied or not. It wouldn’t make a difference. However, she knew that she had to do something about it.