"You really shouldn’t have come back” She said quietly as she opened the door and let him, noticing that he was holding the flowers that she had left behind.

“I’m sorry, but have I been imagining everything? I thought you liked me” Jong In said quickly speaking his mind, not even bothering to take more than two steps inside, “I thought it was mutual”

Sun Ae hesitated before answering. Did a new beginning mean not taking this step with Jong In?

“You… are going to be an idol. I know what that’s like. I know all about the fans and how impossible it will be to date once you debut. To be honest… I hate the idea of dating someone like that” She confessed, avoiding his original question.

“But if I wasn’t, then you would date me?” He asked, needing an answer to his first question before anything else he would say.

She closed her eyes and sighed, “Yes”

"If you hate me being an idol so much then... let's date until I debut" He said quickly, trying to find the words to make her agree, "It won't be for a few more years anyways" He lied, desperate to make her give him a chance at least.

"That won't work. What if our feelings get worse?" She said, the entire time acutely aware of all the ways in which it could go wrong.

"Please... I like you" He said honestly and her eyes flickered up to him still getting surprised when he said that once again, "Why do you look so scared?"

Sun Ae bit her lip and thought about Taemin. If it hadn't worked out with someone she thought she would be with forever... then there was no guarantee with Jong In. A relationship with a deadline? Wouldn't they end up even more hurt?

"I won't hurt you. We can date without pressure and we'll stop without any other words once I debut. I won't beg you to stay, we'll avoid all the pain of a goodbye" He added. He couldn't see into her eyes, he couldn’t tell if what he was saying was working, but he hoped that it would.

"Why even start something when we know it has to end?" She asked, looking up and quickly looking back down at her hands once she saw how much closer he had moved.

"Because, I want to get to know you. I think about you all the time. If I never figure this out... You'll be on my mind forever. Who knows we might not like each other when we really get to it. We might annoy each other. Don't you at least want to know what it would be like?" He whispered.

She was confused as she felt him take the last step so that there were barely inches between them. She looked up slowly, her heart hammering in her chest, and felt the shock of something echo throughout her. He held her gaze and slowly leaned in only pausing when there was barely a distance between their lips. She stared at his lips with wide eyes and wondered how it was possible that her heart was racing even faster. Her gaze slowly traveled upwards, noticing the small and insignificant details of his face until they reached his eyes again. He was beautiful a voice inside of her said and she agreed. But there was something about that beauty that terrified her. She would have bet her life right there that she would end up hurt.

Even though he wanted to, even though every impulse and movie he'd ever seen told him to go for it, he couldn't kiss her. Before all he had seen was this laid back girl, a girl who laughed easily and joked around, but looking at her now he saw inside of her a little more. In a way she had opened a small bit of her heart to him by allowing him to see the pain and fear in her eyes and he sadly wondered what had made her this way. With that thought in mind he took a step back.

"I won't call you again" He said simply.

She felt the ground shake underneath her. This is what she said she wanted, but it hurt so much more than she had anticipated. She would have said something, but she couldn't speak. She had to stop him was the only thing on her mind as he began to turn away from her. Her arm moved out on its own as she reached out and grabbed the edge of his sleeve.

“W-wait” She stuttered nervously, “Until you debut… let’s date until you debut” She whispered staring at her fingertips on his shirt.

Jong In stopped in his tracks and she watched intently as he raised his hand and gently pulled hers off his sleeve. For a terrifying second Sun Ae thought he would let her hand go, but when he didn’t… when he instead turned his hand over in her palm and laced his fingers into hers she felt a blossoming of relief in her chest. Just how much had she wanted this to happen? She asked herself in wonder.

"Until I debut, let me try to make you happy" He said and despite all the feelings clashing inside of her she smiled, “You forgot these by the way” He said smiling brightly as he held up the flowers.

"Thank you" She whispered.

Just once more, she would allow those scary feelings inside of her take over.

~~~~~~~

Taemin sat in his room. He was finally being discharged and it couldn’t have come fast enough for him. He had been trying to reach Sun Ae all this time, but she refused to pick up so today he was going to go see her. Of all the things he could have said and done while sick to suddenly railroad her with declarations of feelings he knew she wouldn’t welcome was the worst. He shook his head, trying to somehow erase all that had happened and go back in time when three curt knocks on the door made him pause.

“Come in” He said clearly, packing away the last change of clothes into the bag Minho had brought for him.

“I thought it’d be better if I came when you were getting discharged. I didn’t want to bother you while you were recovering” Jong In spoke as he stepped in cautiously, hiding the surprise at his friend’s sudden change in expression.

“…You didn’t have to come” Taemin answered plainly, fighting to keep the envy and bitterness from his voice.

“Well, I wanted to see how you were doing” Jong In said a bit awkwardly, what was going on? “Besides, I had some good news to share with my best friend” He joked, hoping to lighten up the mood.

“I have to get back to the agency. I don’t feel at my best. Let’s talk later” Taemin said quickly trying to stop him from sharing his ‘good news’. Somehow he knew they wouldn’t be good for him.

With a nod at the confused look on Jong In’s face he grabbed his bag and tried to walk past him.

“I have a girlfriend” Jong In called out before he could leave, “You know her, she’s the girl you introduced to me for the photographs”

“She’s your girlfriend…? She’s agreed to be your girlfriend?” Taemin asked, this time using every ounce of strength he had to not flip out on Jong In.

“Can you believe she almost said no? I had to convince her, but yeah she agreed and I… really like her” Jong In said with a sheepish smile, “But I think I made a mistake”

“A mistake? What do you mean?” Taemin asked with no shame at the hope that suddenly bubbled up in his mind, “Do you regret asking her to date you?”

“What? No! That’s the best decision I’ve made so far. Why would you— never mind. No, I lied to her…” Jong In whispered looking down.

“Why did you lie?”

“She thinks I won’t debut for a few years” He confessed.

“She doesn’t know your debut is only a few months away? She’ll find out once the teasers start coming out. Why did you do that? Do you know how much you’re going to hurt her?” Taemin asked harshly despite the treacherous bounce of hope that grew inside. Because while he knew that Jong In’s lie would hurt her he knew it was his only chance. There was no way their relationship would succeed if he lied about that.

“I know that! I wouldn’t have lied if she just didn’t hate the idea of dating an idol… I’m kinda hoping I can change her mind before she finds out…” He said quietly.

“… Do you know why she hates them?” Taemin asked cautiously, looking down at his bag.

“No, I was hoping you had some clue?” He asked hopefully.

“Not really” Taemin lied as he raised his eyes to his friend, “Maybe you should ask her”

“Maybe I will…  but I know you guys have been friends for a while. I was wondering if maybe you could help me out here?” He asked hopefully.

Taemin grimaced, though by the time Jong In looked back at him he was careful to keep his expression blank.

“Let’s get out of here, we can keep talking about this once we’re out of this crappy hospital” He said in a lighter tone.

Jong In grinned happily and Taemin felt a stab of guilt. As much as he treasured his best friend, when he thought about Sun Ae it trumped everything else. So even though he wished his best friend the best, he couldn’t help the feeling that Jong In would inevitably screw this up. He was being naïve thinking that having a relationship so early in his career would work out and most of all, he wasn’t thinking about Sun Ae and how hard it would be for her.

“Hey… where did you get that bag?” Jong In asked suddenly as they walked out.

“Hm? Oh I got it as a sponsored gift. I actually usually use the one with the bright green lining, but Minho got this one for some reason” Taemin answered as he held up the bag for him to see.

Jong In nodded attentively, paying attention to the corner of the bag and noticing it looked eerily similar to the one in Sun Ae’s kitchen. He glanced up Taemin who was distracted as he signed some release papers and stifled the hint of discomfort that came up. Even if it was Taemin’s bag, he was friends with Sun Ae so leaving his bag at her place didn’t have to mean anything he told himself. That is, if it was even his bag to begin with right?

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Behold! A fanfiction miracle (well only a miracle when it applies to me) but I updated twice! It must be all the impeding EXO comeback jitters I  have! As always, thanks for reading! :)