Sun Ae walked up the staircase and realized that she had not been grateful enough to having an elevator in her last apartment. Also, that she needed to work out and gain some muscle because she should not be this tired. She took a deep breath as she finally reached her floor and she stepped into the hallway. She pulled down her bag and grabbed her keys before stopping a few feet short of her door. There was a hooded figure sitting in front of her door and she frowned as she tried to get a better look without moving any closer. The person sat with his back against her door and his head bent down and looked to be… sleeping?

She cautiously approached the figure and slowly reached out.

“Excuse me, you’re blocking my door” She whispered as she lightly shook the figure.

Taemin looked up in surprise, his hood falling back in the process. She let out the breath of anticipation she had been holding and raised a brow in curiosity, he looked exhausted. There were deep bags under his eyes and his body seemed lifeless as he slowly pushed himself up with an almost unnoticeable wince.

“What’s wrong?” She asked quickly.

“…I have a small cold and I haven’t been able to sleep lately. Can we go inside before someone sees me?” He asked quietly.

She nodded and hurried to unlock the door. She stepped off to the side as he walked in and she closed the door.

“You should take a seat. Just be careful not to sit on the broken side of the couch” She added as joke, trying to make him laugh.

“No thanks” Taemin snapped and she glanced at him, shocked by the sudden change in his words.

“I guess that’s fine too… I’ll make some hot tea” Sun Ae said as she ran out of anything to say considering his random mood.

Water boiled quietly as she poured it into a warm mug and soaked the tea bag in it. The peaceful aroma of green tea wafted up around her and as she put a small amount of sugar in it she wondered what was up with Taemin. A part of her warned her to tell him to leave since after all they were strictly friends, but then another part reminded her that friends were allowed to do this stuff too. It didn’t have to be anything weird. Besides, there was definitely something wrong with him.

With that thought in mind she grabbed the mug and stepped into her small living room only to find it empty. She looked around before setting the tea down and walking deeper into her small apartment. She checked the bathroom, which was empty, and finally her eyes landed on her bedroom door. Sun Ae rolled her eyes as she figured out he was probably just messing with her and felt her temper rising at him.

She pushed the crickety wood door open and opened ready to yell when her words died in . Taemin was collapsed on her bed, slightly shaking. She went over to his side and placed a hand on his forehead and winced at how hot it was. His eyes slowly opened, long lashes giving way to his brown eyes.

“You should have gone to the doctor” She said, reaching over him and pulling her blankets over his body, “I’m not a doctor, what do I know about the flu or colds. You shouldn’t come here to get better anymore” She said, the last part more of a reminder to herself.

She ran to the living room and brought bag the piping hot mug. She helped him sit up and handed him the warm mug. She watched quietly as the steam rose and he sipped the liquid slowly.

“You’ve been working too hard. I bet you’ve been dancing so much you haven’t even slept” She said, a tint of anger coloring her words as she remembered all the other nights this had happened before. Nights where time and time again she had begged him to take care of himself for once instead of killing himself to perform.

“It’s not that” He confessed, staring into the dark liquid in his mug, “I can’t sleep lately. I have a problem”

“What kind of problem is so big you can’t take care of yourself? What is so damn special about being an idol that you can’t take care of yourself?” She asked.

“It’s a problem I caused myself I guess” He mumbled.

“You complicate your life too much Taemin” She said a bit more sympathetically, “If it’s something you can’t change then just let it go” She said simply.

“Why didn’t you tell me Jong In was here? That he broke your couch? Why did you lie to me?” He blurted out, a small cough at the end of his sentence as he fixed her with a firm glare.

“…You’re the last person to judge me on lies of all topics. It was just a couch” She replied, just a moment too late. They were both plainly aware of her hesitation before answering.

“He used to be your neighbor. Isn’t that funny” He said, absolutely no trace of humor in his voice.

“…I know that”

“You’ve met before?”

“Not exactly”

“Then what exactly?”

“Stop it Taemin” Sun Ae said firmly as she moved a note book from her bedside table and made space for him to place the warm mug there.

“I won’t” He snapped, suddenly breaking out in a cough, “I can’t sleep because of all people to flirt with, you choose him? What happened to hating idols?!”

“Taemin you’re treading lightly here. You’re just a friend now so who I choose to talk to is my business. Don’t act like you’re jealous because you have no right” She said angrily, not caring whether he was sick or not, he was crossing the line.

“I still like you” He admitted, unable to look at her. His common sense told him to shut up, but the fever overrode it as he confessed something he hadn’t meant to so soon. He held the warm mug in his hands and listened as she said nothing and walked out. He heard her steps echo away from him on the old hardwood floors and finally winced as the front door shut with an intentional slam.

Sun Ae was fuming with anger. Lee Taemin was an she decided angrily as she stepped out into the cold air and walked with no particular direction. He really did think that just because they had known each other for so long he could just mess with her like that? She scoffed as she kept walking; earning a few glances from random people once they took in her angry expression. He was clearly just being a spoiled brat. He still had feelings for her? Sun Ae chuckled, he had to think she was an idiot. It was all petty jealousy, she was sure of it. She turned his words over in her head as her fast steps gradually slowed down. She remembered the look on his face and knew that at least on the sick part, he wasn’t lying… and she had left him like that.

She glared at her feet as she stopped walking. Why was she so weak when it came to him?

Taemin set the mug down beside him as watched as his hands slowly turned into fists on the blanket. He shouldn’t have said that, he knew he shouldn’t have said that and yet he still blurted it out like a damn idiot! Why did he even confront her about Jong In?! He weakly threw the light blue blanket off of him and pushed himself off the bed. He had to get out of here. Even though the room seemed to spin out of control he pushed himself forward until he reached the hallway, ignoring the way everything seemed sore… and not all of the pain was physical he noticed miserably as he tried not to think about her.

“What are you doing when you can’t even walk?!” He heard her voice as footsteps approached him quickly and she tried to hold him up.

He looked up at her, her face twisted in a mix of worry and annoyance as she carefully walked him back to the bed. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her as he faintly wondered if he had passed out and was dreaming. Suddenly the scene shattered before his eyes and he found himself back in the hallway, all alone. He looked around him as his heart sunk to the pit of stomach and he leaned against the wall for support. There was a painful lump in his throat as he realized it was all a small hallucination. He felt like crying he admitted to himself as he slid to the ground. She wasn’t coming back.

The door suddenly slammed and even though it could have been another hallucination, Taemin couldn’t help it as he looked up with a small glint of hope. If she came back… that meant that all hope wasn’t lost.

“You look like hell” Minho swore as he rushed to Taemin and effortlessly pulled him up, throwing an arm around his waist to keep him standing.

“She didn’t come back” Taemin whispered.

“She called me to come get you. That’s not nothing. After the crap you pulled on her I would have left you if I was her” Minho said as he looked at the younger man with pity.

“I… want her back. I don’t care anymore… about keeping her safe from the fans… I just don’t care. I want her back. I…” Taemin said breathlessly as he closed his eyes and followed Minho down the stairs, aware that his friend was practically holding all of his weight and that he could pass out in any minute.

“Alright you can plan all you want when you get better. I’m taking you to the hospital” He said worriedly.

“I was slowly going to make her… forgive me… but I’m running out of time…” Taemin whispered.

~~~~~~

Sun Ae walked into an empty apartment feeling guilty, but it wasn’t like she abandoned Taemin. He was safe with Minho. She had done everything right. No matter how many times she told herself that however, she could probably convince everyone else but herself. She walked into her room and glanced at the spot where he had been laying down. He always had to complicate everything. She sighed as yet another reason as to why she couldn’t like Jong In came up, he was friends with Taemin, her best friend/ex-boyfriend. Talk about awkward. She quietly got on her knees and reached out under her bed and pulled out a small shoebox. With no particular expression on her face, she brought it out into the living room and sat on the ground and as she pulled the top off.

A handful of letters sat quietly in the box and she stared at them for a few seconds longer before she pulled them out and started rereading them. It didn’t help she realized unhappily as she laid back onto the cold floor and held the last letter she had gotten from Jong In up over her face.

The big question here was ‘What if?’

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Geez, I'm seriously embarrassed to even post after not doing so for so long -__- and on top of that I usually make extra long chapters and this one is on the short side because it just really works better on its own and see how I'm avoiding talking about my responsability and lack of time management? I'm really sorry for being so slow with this fic but a lot of the times there's just a lot of different directions I want to take this in and I end up second guessing the story line and blah blah blahhh :/

Long story short, I'm really sorry I'll try to keep up with updates and thanks so much for still sticking around and reading this!