Rushing back in, he’d barely had enough time to catch his breath. Steep stairs. A broken elevator. Thick walls and thicker Exotians living behind them. This particular small apartment complex was without a doubt the worst one to be struck by an unfortunately sudden gas leak. A pipe had cracked somewhere, somehow. Thus the reason he bounded upwards, legs leaping over one flight and then the next. 

He heard Chanyeol explaining the situation to an older couple on the first floor. Suho consoling a young girl whose parents were at work already on this early summer morning. Sehun bickering with a housewife about her desire to pack her entire house and home before stepping a single foot towards safety. And Baekhyun, standing deafly still before a door on the third floor. 

There was nothing particularly special about it. It looked like all the others in color and design. Even the yells above his head told him there were better things to do than stare at doors. Yet, there Baekhyun was, doing just that. 

“Is there anyone home?” Kai asked, voice stuttering as he inhaled deeply. The stairs were more troublesome than he’d thought they’d be. “Did you try knocking?”

“No. She left, remember?” Baekhyun answered, a slight edge to his voice that Kai didn’t understand immediately. Baekhyun was bounding up the stairs before he could, sentimental thoughts having distracted him much longer than he’d realized. 

The same kinds of thoughts that struck Kai then, an unfortunate relapse hitting him.

There was nothing particularly special about it: the door to the small, third floor apartment. What was more important was who had lived there before. Who was gone now, on her way to Dunai according to Luhan’s daily reports — a city surrounded by sand more than just a handful of days away from the Capital. Sentimentalities were practically unavoidable.

Yet manageable nevertheless.

The Sun Guardians were able to evacuate the building in a timely manner. Soon after, firefighters and mechanics arrived on the scene to repair the broken gas line. As they walked back to the Hall, the air fresher as they went, Kai realized he’d forgotten how to breath entirely. How to not feel suffocated as he crossed by that door countless times on his way down those unforgiving stairs. Teleporting past it, overlooking it, was tempting. It was for all of them. 

But, just as they were told, they’d never use their abilities unless pushed to do so. Unless doing so could save lives that would be otherwise lost. No matter how much time it took, her highness believed Exotians would triumph over whatever problem they faced. And the Sun Guardians believed in her highness.

Thus, another day went by.

Another normal day in the lives of those who — plagued by a growing pessimism — believed they were left behind. Though not a one would voice this, the fact of the matter was as clear as day. They were here and their Seeress was somewhere else. To say their normal days were pleasantly spent would be lying. 

Blunt, yet pointed: these lies and their days. 

Painful all the same.

“Baekhyun?” 

Suho called out into the dimly lit library. Searching for the Guardian in question after this morning’s events, this was the last place he’d thought to look. The thought that he’d be where he last talked one-on-one with their Seeress before she left failed to cross his mind, for whatever reason, until now. 

And yet, there he was. There was Baekhyun. Seemingly napping peacefully on the couch, his eyes remained closed despite Suho’s call.

“What’re you doing?” Suho questioned, pupils straining to focus properly.

Baekhyun answered, in a rather snarky fashion, “Do you not have eyes?”

He had eyes, though the current blurred shapes and colors he saw now were surely Baekhyun’s own doing, “I get that you’re still mad at me.”

“Do you?” Suho’s irises twitched, expanding and contracting painfully as he endured Baekhyun’s vengeance, the younger Guardian jeering outright, “How insightful of you. I couldn’t tell by my obvious sarcasm that I was in the least bit aggravated with you in any way, shape, or form.”

“Is it because you love her?”

That inquiry had Suho’s vision clearing, the room seeming brighter all at once. Baekhyun’s mind seeming to clear all at once, he answered without hesitation, “I adore our Seeress.”

He didn’t like her any less than he used to. In fact, his feelings for her didn’t have a limit. But, they had words. Adoration. Admiration. An affluent affliction of affection. They had many words. “A” words. “B” words. “X,” “Y,” and “Z” words. But, not that “L” word. Not the word Luhan had chosen. Not the one he claimed while claiming all the rest as well.

“And the fact that Luhan says he does too just as selflessly while gallivanting around as he is—” 

Baekhyun breathed in, finding all those words hard to get out, no matter how many times he rehearsed them in his head. No matter how long he thought about it. Tossed it around. Flipped it upside down and inside out, he still didn’t understand.

“It just gets to me. It just gets to me when we all put so much, too much, emphasis on the past. When, with this infamous past in mind, you and everyone else are justifying your present actions as, well, just. As right. When you’re wrong. When ignoring one part of our past and glorifying another is not only hypocritical but wrong, Suho.”

“Luhan deserves to live—”

“As he wants?”

Baekhyun interrupted, sitting up in order to catch sight of the, most likely ridiculous, expression Suho had put forth when he’d begun that sentence.

“The planet deserved Ela Nektor. That didn’t stop one of her own Guardians from thinking he deserved her more. But if you want to argue in favor of your actions using the past, using the years of solitude Luhan’s lived and what you believe he deserves in exchange for that as justification, fine. We can argue history all night if you’d like. Though I can assure you I’ll be using the one you don’t like to mention as my own defense.”

Suho frowned, glancing back and forth, books full of history surrounding him on all sides, “We’re different—”

“Don’t give me that crap. You all keep saying that like it means something. Drawing comparisons between the past and the present is pointless. It’s easy and not worth a single thing in the long run.” 

He shouldn’t talk to Suho like this, he knew. He should have never gotten angry without talking about everything in the first place, he knew this as well. But he couldn’t stop himself from picking sides, no matter how well he knew.

“What matters is how we evaluate our present in the present itself. How we react, in a single moment, to one of our brethren haughtily storming out of here with who knows what kind of thoughts floating through his head. How you accepted it, giving the past consideration it doesn’t deserve yet ignoring it completely at the same time. Just how could you accept it? How could you just let Luhan go like that, Suho?”

Baekhyun plopped back down onto the couch, swallowing down the handful of other pointed points he could have made. The counter-arguments he could have supplied. The coulds and the woulds and the shoulds, because he was tired. He was tired and he was still angry at the world and all it’s pointless histories.

“Suffice it to say, yes, I’m still mad at you. And I don’t think I won’t be anytime soon.” Waving his hand in a lazy manner, he bluntly dismissed Suho’s righteous ways, “I live in the present though, so I’m sure my grudge won’t hold for long.”

Sehun lulled back, elbows placed atop the counter balancing him on his tipping stool.

This morning was the only eventful thing that had happened this week. Last week was a flooded school building. The week before that was an electrical fire. And the week before an eighteen-wheeler crash. Today’s gas leak slotted itself third on the list in excitement, topping the three-inch high barrier of water in the Capital’s high school’s gymnasium — because what kind of Guardians would they be if they let a child’s feet get wet? Suffice it to say, he was bored.

And he was in search of an outlet with which to entertain himself with. 

This is where Suho came in. Down and out, forehead to kitchen island counter, his trip to the library earlier the cause. Sehun graciously, out of the kindness of his nonexistent heart, treated the topic with the utmost of care — just as he did earlier when he’d listened in on it with the others.

“How was getting lectured by Baekhyun, o’ mighty leader of the Sun Guardians?”

Kyungsoo’s knife chopped down, green onion sliced perfectly in half on the cutting board before him, “He says he doesn’t want to talk about it.”

But Sehun certainly did. “Just so you know, I’m on his side this time.” 

“When are you never on Baekhyun’s side?” Kyungsoo’s armed hand rose in suspicion, ready to strike in the case Sehun was the usual succinctly sadistic Sehun — and ninety-nine percent of the time, he was.

Sehun knew how to take hints, he simply decided not to. “When he’s wrong. And, thanks to his large amount of common sense, he rarely is.”

“You’re loyalty towards Luhan is faltering then?” Kyungsoo commented in passing, going with the flow. He himself had been affected by the lack of things to do lately. Each day was the same as the last before as well. But with a Seeress and six Moon Guardians gone, the routine grew staler with each passing day. 

“Being loyal doesn’t mean I would’ve let him out of the Hall.” Sehun spun in his seat, plucking a fresh slice of green pepper up. Waving it around like a cane, he mimicked the voice of a wise old guru, “It means I would know when to call him an egotistical idiot before beating him senseless.”

And when faced with the threat of boredom perpetually rotting each passing second, Kyungsoo appreciated even the tiniest spice Sehun was willing to provide to his day. “The respect you have for your elders is flattering.”

Though Sehun always dished out a bit too much for his liking. “Faltering, flattering, I’m seemingly fattening as I continue to have to scarf down a second portion for lunch today.” 

Casting a guilty glance around the kitchen, plates of food and boiling pots covering every inch of counter space, Kyungsoo sighed, “I zoned out for a single second and I’d prepared enough for thirteen people. It’s force of habit.”

“I miss them,” Sehun suddenly said. Spurned on by Kyungsoo’s habit. By Suho’s regret. By Baekhyun’s words. Plus some other things he himself had been thinking about lately. “I’m getting indigestion just looking at all this food.” 

“I miss them, too.” Was Suho’s first sentence since he’d left the library, his head lifting from the counter, forehead red in color. Turning towards Kyungsoo, he said his second, “You’re not still mad at her highness, are you?”

Shaking his head, Kyungsoo took up Baekhyun’s sword and shield, “I live in the present. I don’t hold grudges long.”

“Never too old to learn new tricks.” 

Sehun spun around, lulling back once more while Kyungsoo reached out, patting Suho’s shoulder like he’d done it too many times to count. Like he was a master at comforting the inconsolable. Of just being there, no matter whose side he was on.

The setting sky seemed higher than usual today. Not out of reach, but just out of his immediate range. Stretching for it was inevitable. Wishing he could fly was unavoidable. Kai was sure every single Guardian had been envious of Kris’s powers some time or other. And now was his time. 

“Whatcha’ thinking about?” 

Chanyeol voiced where he lay be Kai’s side, marble beneath him cool against his heated skin. He liked coming up here to watch the clouds roll by. He’d been doing it with more frequency since the Moon Guardians left with their Seeress. Kai had taken to joining him more often then not. Grateful for his companionship alone, Chanyeol hadn’t questioned his actions before now.

“Stuff.” Kai broadly answered.

“What kind of stuff?”

“Puppy dogs and rainbows. Unicorns, too.”

“Sounds nice.” Chanyeol absentmindedly commented, staring at a cloud that looked like a giant bird soaring slowly across the sky. Or maybe he was still on a sugar high from the cheesecake D.O baked this morning. “I bet Lay thinks about stuff like that all the time.”

“And now I’m trying to think of a way to one-up that subtle insult against our fellow Guardian.”

“It must be nice, though. Don’t you think?” Chanyeol decided it was a phoenix, whether someone else said otherwise or not, “Thinking of stuff like that.”

“It is nice.” Kai managed a laugh, turning to face his brother, “And I didn’t lie to you. The puppies and unicorns are taking turns sliding down the double rainbow.”

“I think about my parents sometimes. And that’s pretty nice.”

“Chanyeol,” Kai warned.

“Plus my fellow Guardians, of course.”

“Chanyeol, I don’t want to talk about this.”

“And our Seeress, too. Though the feeling isn’t all too nice when I do.”

“You’re being the very opposite of nice right now,” turning away, Kai closed his eyes.

“So, do you want to talk about it?”

“What’d I say earlier?”

Chanyeol pursed his lips, chanting, “Puppies, rainbows, and unicorns.”

Sighing, Kai searched the inside of his lids for an answer that didn’t exist. That had him shrugging, “What do you expect me to say?”

“You don’t think about her? You don’t miss her?” Chanyeol paused momentarily. Even though his next word was obvious, Kai still waited for it with bated breath, anticipating the two syllables, the old tongue pronunciation, that he hadn’t heard in what seemed like lifetimes of staring at the setting sky. In one foul swoop, Chanyeol seemingly breathed life back into her just by saying her name, “Cera?” 

It took Kai a moment to remember how to commit the action himself, allowing his fellow Guardian to fill the silence. 

“I can’t quite pretend to understand, since I’m not you. I can only tell you what it sounds like.” Turning towards him, Chanyeol mumbled beneath his breath. As though relaying a secret Kai didn’t yet know. “What you look like right now, as you’re thinking about her.”

Opening his eyes, turning towards him as well, Kai’s first words were, “I’m sorry.”

And Chanyeol laughed. “You don’t have to apologize for liking a girl, Kai. I’m not your boyfriend.”

“No, but you’re my friend. You’re my brother. You’re my fellow Guardian.” Looking up to the sky above, the answer was further away than he’d originally thought, “And the thoughts I’m having towards our Seeress right now are anything but nice.”

“I’m on your side.” 

Chanyeol claimed.

“We all are.” 

Chanyeol promised.

“No matter what.”

No matter what.

Kai had to stop now, no matter what.

The fact of this matter was as clear as day. He’d be lying if he said he was fine with all the A, B, C, X, Y, and Z words that flittered across his mind. The “L” one in particular. Blunt, yet pointed. It was painful all the same.

A/N: I realized recently that's it's been over six months (real time) since EXO-K has made an appearance (minus ch.42). And because I felt like it, here this is. (A lot of things happen just because I feel like it.) See you all next time!

Sidenote #1: Baekhyun's view of the situation is not something you should just accept. In some ways, he's right. In others, Suho is. Now it's your turn to pick sides.

Sidenote #2: No, of course the Sun Guardians are not having a dandy time in the Capital by themselves. It's not all sunshine, puppies, unicorns, and rainbows for them. It's freaking sad being left behind. So be sad for their lonely, left-behind selves. Be sad like you've never been sad before.

Sidenote #3: Happy Birthday to me?