Luhan was positively livid. 

The first question that popped into his head was: Why? Why did it have to be her? He recognized the fact that history often required leaders to travel, to venture past the walls of their castles, centers of fantasy far withdrawn from reality, in order to see the countryside. To check upon the affairs of that which they ruled. It wasn’t uncommon. But, still, why? 

Not a single word had passed from to his ears since she left. It was always Tao. It was always Tao who’d report back at the end of each week. And now, at the end of the third, he informed them they — her highness and her Moon Guardians — would be leaving tomorrow for the far-reaching borderlands of EXO Planet.

Tomorrow?

Ridiculous.

It all sounded so ridiculous. Firstly, that she was so dedicated to following the Boards anywhere and everywhere. Secondly, that he wasn’t included in the collective noun of “Moon Guardians” who’d be accompanying her — never mind the fact that this was a decision he made all on his own. Thirdly, well, he couldn’t think of anything right now. 

He couldn’t think of how brave she was. How proud he was. 

But he was sure he’d think of something negative, of something far from the heartwarming sentiments the previously aforementioned thoughts held, by the end of the hour. 

Tao threw him a smile as he finished relaying his news to Luhan and the Sun Guardians in the Main Hall. 

It was nauseating.

It was pitying. It was guilty. It had a hint of excitement about it that made his stomach clench. The air felt too thick to breath in. Luhan felt like throwing up right then and there.

So, he left first. 

And before he knew it, he was closing a wooden door behind him. A door he presumed led to his bedroom. A door that was the farthest from his bedroom as mentally — and quite possibly physically — possible. 

He had arrived at her highness’s, his Seeress’s, room. 

He was standing there, by himself, for a disconcerting minute. Just standing. Not doing anything. Forgetting to think anything. 

He briefly entertained the idea that this was all a dream — a well-constructed nightmare. Closing his eyes, taking a deep breath, he convinced himself, tricked himself, into believing there was no way she’d leave. She’d be in this room, always. She’d be here, right now. 

All he had to do was imagine it.

He stared harshly into the darkness of his eyelids until he began to feel his muscles strain. Until, slowly stuttering, slightly flinching, he opened his eyes. And to his expectation, nothing had changed. 

So, he left first. 

Determined to always leave first, to hurt first, he went to his room and began to pack mindlessly.

He was positively livid. 

And he felt completely justified.

Luhan didn’t like being yelled at. 

It made him feel smaller. Like he was still that child who wasn’t allowed to play outside with everyone else. To want what everyone else had. To have anything at all. Just his room. Just a series of lectures that felt like someone was screaming restriction after restriction into his ears. 

Scratching at his earlobe, he reasoned against the person who now stood in his way: Baekhyun.

“Shall I say it again? If I was unclear the first time, I have no qualms about doing so.”

“Please do, because it makes no sense at all.” Baekhyun took a step forward, wrenching Luhan’s bag from his grip, removing it from his person before he could react. Tossing it somewhere behind him, he put a hand to Luhan’s chest, making him back up, stopping him from getting it, “Because that look on your face right now,” he pointed at the parallel lines between Luhan’s brows, causing his vision to blur, “that’s not the look of a Guardian riding off into the sunset on his white horse in order to help his, our, Seeress.” 

“What’s going on?” Suho, who had been walking from the training room to the kitchen, asked as he rounded the corner. He had seen Luhan’s bag fly through the air and, judging from the look of the situation itself he happened to stumble upon, it seemed as though he couldn’t simply write this off as another brotherly misunderstanding. 

Before Luhan could speak, Baekhyun did first. 

“Luhan’s just got a few screws loose right now, is all.” He wasn’t done yet as he shoved Luhan away with a single push of his hand, sarcastically jeering as he said, “Looking like a man scorned while proclaiming up and down your intentions are pure. Yeah, sure, of course I believe you, Luhan. Why wouldn’t I when you’ve given me so much evidence to do so?”

Casting a glance at Luhan’s bag that now laid open, clothes strewn across the floor a few feet behind him, Suho began to grasp onto exactly what his “intentions” were. 

“Were you going to follow after her highness?” He asked, genuinely confused. 

“I am.” 

Luhan proclaimed, ignoring Baekhyun’s accusations much to his better judgement. Because he should not so easily dismiss someone he’s known since birth. Because twenty years is a long, long time. Too long for him to count the months, weeks, days, and seconds Baekhyun’s been there for him. 

It had been approximately a minute and forty-eight seconds since he’s thrown their relationship to the wind, blinded by blurred intentions and foggier desires. 

Suho went quiet, thinking over where to go from here. 

To let Luhan go, or to make him stay. Each had its pros and cons. It was evident Luhan wasn’t thinking clearly right now, making it quite likely he’d be half-way through Sector C before he high-tailed it back to the Hall of the Guardians, seeing the error of his ways given enough time. On the other hand, Baekhyun had made a good point. 

He wasn’t going out of pure and sincere obligation. 

He wanted to be there, by her highness’s side.

His purpose didn’t matter, because his motivation would certainly make it happen.

Locking him up wouldn’t stop him. Setting up boundaries wasn’t something Suho wanted to do. Luhan had had enough of both for a lifetime now. He deserved to follow whatever flighty passion he wanted, whenever he wanted. To be spontaneous, with a few screws loose here and there. 

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Baekhyun practically yelled in response, not believing his ears. 

“We’ll see you when we see you, Luhan.” Suho smiled, stepping aside, pulling Baekhyun by the arm to do the same. Luhan nodded firmly, walking briskly past the two, scooping up his clothes within a matter of seconds, before he disappeared down the hall. 

“Okay?” Baekhyun questioned again, taking a step away from Suho, scrutinizing him with judging eyes. His voice raised in pitch as he said it for the third time, “Okay?” 

“That’s what I said.”

“That’s not what you should have said.”

“I don’t understand why you’re so angry, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun let out a hearty laugh, scoffing as he said, “Exactly! You don’t understand! Do you know what Luhan said to me before you showed up? Do you have any idea what kind of selfish, self-serving, self-centered words he spouted?”

Suho didn’t. He wouldn’t have. Baekhyun, expecting as much, decided to inform him whether he truly wanted to know or not. Whether it would have been better for him to know or not.

“He said, and I quote, ‘She’s not allowed to leave me like this.’”

On the brink of breaking, of spilling out, of ripping open at the seams.

Because Luhan was the one who left first. The one who hurt others first. The one who locked himself up and drew a boundary between this and that. These and those. Him and everyone else. When it happened to him instead, deep seeded irritation set in.

And he couldn’t stand still with his eyes closed any longer, imagining up more possibilities to trick himself into believing.

Selfish, self-serving, and self-centered Luhan was as he bounded off towards Sector E, not turning back once.

A/N: 

Happy Birthday, Luhan? 

Though this doesn't paint him as the most endearing character, when faced with the possiblity of not seeing her highness for who knows how long, he's pushed to action. Like a child he is, not wanting her to leave. Because only he's allowed to push her away, not the other way around. Also, this chapter zooms past the two weeks we will see play out in the next chapter. So, look forward to that?

Anyways, yeah. This selfish, self-serving, and self-centered chapter is out here now. No takesies backsies. And once more for good luck:

Happy Birthday, Luhan!