KEY'S POV


"WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH HER??!! DO YOU NOT CARE ABOUT SHINEE'S IMAGE AT ALL?!! IF I WASN'T THERE WHAT ELSE WERE YOU PLANNING TO DO WITH HER HUH?????!!!" I exploded in Jonghyun's face. we were now outside the coffee shop going back to the dorm. I still can't believe I caught jonghyun and sekyung making out! Nicole and the went off after seeing the tension between us. I don't care if I'm being unreasonable, it was his fault in the first place.

"WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE IM DOING??! HA!! YOU THINK I DON'T ABOUT SHINEE'S IMAGE HUH??! WELL WHOS THE GAY DUDE GOING AROUND MAKING OUT WITH HIS BOYFRIEND???!!!" I didn't expect him to fight back, but his words stung... My eyes were getting wet.

"AND YOU KNOW WHAT, I CAN'T STAND YOU!!!!! BECAUSE YOU ARE GAY!!!!! A FILTHY, DISGUSTING GAY!!!!!" that did it. The tears immediately fell from my eyes. So this was his opinion towards me. he hates me because I'm gay.

I looked down trying to hide my tears that was continually flowing down my cheeks. is this how everyone thinks of me? I felt numb.. No one but jinki knows that I, the almighty key, cry myself
to sleep because of how everyone judged me.

" I'm s-sorry for being a f-filthy d-disgusting gay..." my heart clenched as these words came out. I ran full speed away from the direction of the dorm. I couldn't face anyone now. I hate myself for being this way... Is it so wrong to be love with the same ? and it hurts more to hear these words from him... what hurts more is knowing that I'm have to stay this way for the rest of my life. I can't change what I am.

"WAIT KIBUM! COME BACK I DIDN'T MEAN IT, I'M SORRY!!"

Liar.

You meant what you said.

I didn't look back as I ran.

JONGHYUN'S POV

GOD IM THE BIGGEST IDIOT ALIVE!! WHY THE HELL DID I SAY THAT??!!!?!!

oh. My. ing. God.

I chased after him but it's no use.. I blame god for giving me shorter legs!!

I stopped and panted... Kibum hates me now, YOU BLEW IT KIM JONGHYUN!

He looked so vulnerable... so hurt.. I can't believe he apologized for my words.. Was he being sarcastic? No.. That's not it.. He believed my harsh words.

I looked down and something fell out of my eyes and dropped on my cheeks.

Please kibum, I didn't mean it, please come back..

I didn't even bother to stop the salty tears. I just sat on the floor crying.. Not long after I was surrounded by people that no doubt recognized me. I didn't care about my image. "kibum..." I sobbed even harder.

"OMO IT'S JONGHYUN OPPA FROM SHINEE!!!! OPPA IM A
HUGE FAN!!!!!!" a girl screamed in my ear.

Wanting to get away from all the pushing and shouting, I stood up and tried to walk, but my legs failed me.

"oppa! Are you okay?!" a fan supported me before I could fall flat on my face.

I nodded weakly and continue to walk. The fans started to follow me asking for autographs and taking pictures. I wanted to scream to make them disappear .. But it's not their fault.. That's because it's my fault.

Everything is my fault.

JINKI'S POV.

I'm starting to get really worried! Key said he would call me but it's already six and still nothing. I decided to call nicole.

Ring...
Ring..
Ring.......

"hello?"

"nicole-sshi! It's already six! When are you two going to be back?" I calmed down a bit since she picked up.

"what? oppa are you looking for key?" she asked.

"yes! Can you put him on please?"

"um.. He left with Jonghyun oppa.. Why??! Is he still not home yet??!"

"WHAT??! he's with Jonghyun??" Before she could say anything I said bye and hung up.

Why is he with Jonghyun???? What could they be possibly doing for four hours??!! OH MY GOD JONGHYUN BETTER KEEP HIS DIRTY HANDS OFF MY KIBUMMIE !

Im getting more and more frustrated as each minute passed by.

"hyung! Can you sit down please?? I'm sure umma will be back soon." taemin whined from the couch.

I didn't even notice I was walking back and forth from the same spot. I quickly sat beside him.

"where is minho hyung?" taemin asked in a small voice. Of course
He would be worried for him. Truth is Minho had txted me saying he would be at the super junior dorm for these two days, but he didnt want taemin to know that he was purposely avoiding
Him.

"he has some stuff to do, he's gunna be back in two days."

CLICK*

I rushed to open the door but what greeted me was not key's sparkling eyes but Jonghyun drenched in tears.

"aigoo.. What happened Jonghyun?! Wheres key?" I was trying to be concerned but not knowing where key was is just killing me slowly.

"hyung.. I'm s-so s-sorr-y.." I gasped when he suddenly kneeled on the floor.

"WHAT'S GOING ON???!!!" my temper was rising. I felt beyond confused.

"hyung!! What happened?" taemin suddenly spoke behind me.

Jonghyun didnt flinch from my words.

"I-I ... called k-kibum a f-filthy d-disgusting g-ga-y." he sobbed.

my brain didnt register what he said. But when it did, I grabbed him by the shirt and dragged him to his feet.

I didn't hesistate because I know he deserves it.

*BAM*

I punched him in the stomach which made him double over.

Taemin was shouting trying to hold me back but I didn't care. I didnt care for him because I know key better than anyone. I know how much this would hurt him.

"YOU SON OF A ! DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID???!! Do you think he didn't want to be normal??! Do you think he chose to be this way?!" I yelled as tears made me choke on my words. He just laid on the floor clutching his stomach.

"do you know how fragile he is? Even if he is called the almighty key... He has the softest heart that threatens to break each time you joke and call him gay. He acts like it's okay and fakes a smile. But it's all just a disguise... It's just a fake mask to hide his heart that just won't mend. To other people this is not a big deal, but do you know he cries himself to sleep because of this reality? If you knew his past..."
My voice barely a whisper. The dorm was silent, and there were no sounds beside our sobbing and sniffing.

"taemin... Grab your coat. We need to find your umma before
It gets too dark." my legs wobbled as I walked to the door with taemin trailing behind me.

Jonghyun grabbed my leg.

"p-please...hyung let me h-help
You f-find him." I kicked him off harshly.

"you've done enough help already." I glared at him coldly and walked out.

Key is so innocent and pure... God is so unfair.

KEY'S POV

I sat down near a tree and hugged
my knees. I should be used to these things by now...

*flashback*

"hey onew hyung!" I greeted my bandmate. It was close to our first debut as the new idol group. SHINee with noona neomu yeppeo~! I was really excited but right now I have school to attend to.

"hey key-goon. You going to school? Manager said we need to leave for practice together so I'll wait until you and taemin come back from school alright?" hyung asked.

"thanks hyung!" I smiled at him and got ready for school.

On my way to school, four muscular guys walked up to me.  I tried to escape out but one of them caught my wrist and held me back. Of course I stuggled against them... and obviously it did not work. they dragged me to a place that was pitch black. at that time no one knew me because i was just some trainie and not famous at all. i bet if they knew i would be famous, they would regret treating me like this.

all of them were wearing masks so i couldnt see their faces. the only thing i could see was a small rose tattoo on all of their shoulders so im assuming they are a gang. i screamed and that resulted in one of the men stuffing something in my mouth, i tried not to gag but the thing tasted horrible.

what do they want with me? ive never met these men in my life!

"you're the pretty boy kim kibum am i right?" the man wearing shorts smirked at me. so they knew me.. then that means kidnapping me wasn't a mistake. Before i could respond, another man beside him pulled my pants down.

tears escaped my eyes as I realized what was going to happen. I threw my body around and hoped they would let go of me.I suddenly thought of my best friends at school who were probably wondering where i was. will i ever see them again? what about SHINee??

"heh." the man chuckled. he leaned down to caress my cheeks as I tried to squirm away from his dirty fingers.

"what? you dont like me? i thought that a little like you would be glad to pleasure me." the man tried to touch me again. i struggled using all my strength. NO PLEASE DONT IM BEGGING YOU!

 why is this happening to me? i thought to myself.

"you're gay aren't you? oh i love gays.. they make it so much more fun!." i felt sick.

he then whispered in my ear. "tell you a secret. I don't anyone but gays." I have honestly never hated myself so much till this moment.  

that night when i went back to the dorm, onew hyung just hugged me and let me cry silently into his shoulder. i can't explain how much that had helped. to know that someone still cared about me just make things a little better. he made me feel like i could forget that horrible nightmare.

"t-thank y-you Onew h-hyung..." I stuttered, not knowing any other way to express my feelings.

"call me jinki okay?" he smiled and wiped away my tears.

i smiled back at him.. something I didn't think i could do in a long time, but because of him.. it happened.

*flashback ends*

I just sat against a tree crying my eyes out from remembering that incident. that was the first time i cried myself to sleep. yes, im gay.. and that is why i hate myself.

i felt footsteps coming near me and looked up to see six men glaring down at me. they were all wearing tanktops despise the cold weather.

.

WHAT THE F---

they were all surrounding me, making it impossible to move.

NOT AGAIN. i thought.

i tried to stand up but before i could, someone threw a bag over me and punched me. my visions blurred before i out.