FINALLY UPDATEDDDDD !!!!! <3<3

not edited btw ~

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ONEW’S POV

"WHAT?!!" was the first thing that manager had uttered when we- well I, told him the truth.
 
I looked over at Key, who was nervously biting his lower lip, body trembling, too ashamed to look up.

I averted my gaze back to our manager… I don't think I've ever seen his face express more anger.
 
"Are you telling me.. That key had been… ually harassed… TWICE?!!?! And no one bothered to tell me about it ?!!" the manager fumed mainly at me, seems like he couldn't yell at Bummie in a situation like this.
 
I flinched and nodded my head slowly. "Only Key and I know about this." I decided to leave Kevin and Dongho out, trusting that the secret's safe with them.
 
I held my breathe waiting for manager's next words. Surprisingly, he exhaled slowly and walked over to Bummie.
 
I panicked... Was he going to yell at him?! Manager has a great personality... But the one thing he hates the most is having secrets kept from him.
 
He stopped before Bummie and crouched down, placing his hands on Bummie's.
 
"Key.. I want you to know that whenever you need help, or support, I'm always there for you. I'm not just SHINee's manager, we're family right? So you have to trust me, and I will protect you no matter what." Manager spoke in a whisper, his voice gentle. I was so touched by his words... They were filled with so much concern, and genuine promises that I just can't help but thank god for giving SHINee such a dependable manager. He's right, we are family.
 
Bummie looked at him with eyes filled with guilt and tears poured out from his tired eyes. I cried along with him. I probably won't ever understand the pain that he's gone through, but from now on, I will act as Bummie's knight in shinning armor, not leaving his side.
 
Manager stood up after tightly embracing the crying boy, and I could see, even through my blurry vision that he also was also close to crying.
 
"For now, SHINee’s activities will be cancelled. Maybe for one month only, we’ll see how it goes. And also I’m going to prepare two bodyguards for SHINee in case this ever happens again. Onew, make sure everyone’s safe, alright?” Manager placed his hand on my shoulder. Unexpectedly, that one little gesture gave me confidence to protect SHINee.

I nodded my head. Manager gave Bummie one last look and left, closing the door softly behind him.

I sighed, walking over to sit beside Bummie.

“Bummie… we have to tell the others about this.” I spoke, and patted his back gently. He nodded slightly and I pulled him into a hug, while he muffled his cries into my shirt.

*CLICK.*

“Onew Hyung, we’re home! Is Umma okay?” Taemin’s voice yelled from the front door. I held Bummie in tighter when I felt him do a violent shudder.

Taemin’s head peaked into our private moment. He smiled cheekily and bounced to the seat besides us. Jonghyun and Minho sat in a distance, as far from us as possible. That’s understandable; Jonghyun probably doesn’t want to be beaten to hell right now.

“guys, there’s something about Key that you have to know.” I cleared my throat, hoping to get it over with as soon as I can. Gripping Bummie’s hand, I told the entire story to the others, hoping to get a comforting reaction.

“WHAT??!! HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME UMMA??!!” right after my last sentence, Taemin screeched out, pouting and looking worried.

Jonghyun just stared at Bummie with an open mouth and a blank expression, like he couldn’t find his voice to say anything.

“I’m… I’m SO sorry Key! I swear I never knew what ha-happened! I didn’t mean to call you a- IM SO SORRY!” Jonghyun apologized over and over again, eyes also getting watery.

“No…it’s my fault. Don’t apologize, it’s my entire fault.” Key said through his tears. Desperately trying to hold back the sniffles.

Jonghyun looked like a lost puppy, completely speechless. He probably never thought that would be the response he’d get back. Just for one second, I felt sympathy for Jonghyun, there must be so much guilt placed on him now.

Minhoon the other hand… looked a little… angered???

“What is this? So you’re telling me, that all because of Key Hyung, we have to cancel the whole month’s activities??” Minho spoke through his teeth.

Did he not think about Bummie at all?! CAN HE NOT SEE THE TEARS STREAMING DOWN HIS FACE?!

“I don’t understand why we have to all suffer just because of a member’s mistake.”

THAT JUST CROSSED THE LINE.

“CHOI MINHO, DO YOU THINK EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED IS KEY’S FAULT?! DO YOU THINK HE WANTS TO BE VIOLATED LIKE THAT? TWICE?!” I roared in his face. I swear that was my first time using that voice of hatred.

He glared at me, breaking all the respectfulness in his eyes.

“WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS ON HIS SIDE FOR EVERYTHING?! HUH?! WHATEVER I SAY WOULDN’T MATTER BECAUSE YOU WOULDN’T LISTEN TO ANYTHING AS LONG AS IT’S AGAINST HIM.” He roared back at me, but with more fierceness in his voice, and his eyes burning holes through my soul. I was the leader of SHINee after all, I don’t back down.

OR LOSE.

“BECAUSE YOU ARE WRONG. DID YOU NEVER THINK ABOUT KEY’S FEELINGS?! DO YOU THINK HE FEELS GOOD ABOUT CANCELING OUR ACTIVITIES?!”

“IM NOT WRONG, YOU KNOW I AM RIGHT HYUNG. I KNOW EVEN YOU HATES KEY RIGHT NOW.” he said with absolute confidence.

HOW CAN HE JUST MAKE AN ASSUMPTION LIKE THAT?! I WOULD NEVER HATE KEY.

Just when I was about to fight back, a strong force made me stop and turn around. What I saw completely broke my heart. Because I saw Key completely broken. He looked like he was about to faint. Without a word he ran into his room and locked the doors.

OH ASJFKFKSHFJFKL . HE MUST HAVE THOUGHT I HATED HIM TOO!

I inhaled slowly and glared at Minho once more, walking over to knock on the door, but was stopped by Taemin.

“Give umma some time, he’ll be okay again. I know it.” I don’t know if that’s true, but if Taemin believed in it then I will too. I nodded slowly and sat back down on the coach.

The others followed my lead, only Minho left for his room.

SELFISH JERK.

KEY’S POV

I stumbled onto my bed and hid my face in it. Was I really that awful? Minho’s absolutely right. I don’t deserve to be in SHINee, because I just end up dragging everyone down. Nothing ever good happens when I’m around, so why am I still here?

I wiped my tears and sat up, back leaning against the wall. I picked up the pocket knife on my desk not far from where I am. The purpose of the pocket knife was to protect me from danger…but was I actually thinking about harming myself with it?

I’ve always been curious about people self harming… if they felt the need to do that, then why don’t they just end their lives? I guess they do after a while.

Why? Why would they do it?

I ran my finger over the smooth metal surface of the knife, examining it carefully. I thought about all the things I’ve accomplished so far in life… but my mind thought about all the things Minho had said. I am far from perfect. It feels like I’ve disappointed everyone, all the people I care about. My body felt so tired, tired of everything, tired of living.

My mind started to wander off on its own again. I’d call people stupid for their actions of self harming, although I never experienced the helplessness, the feeling of the whole world crashing down on you. Maybe it would be better for everyone if I just disappear and never interrupt their perfect lives.  

I stared at the knife again. Even through my blurred vision, I could make out the sharp edge that would harm me, or possibly end my life.

Is it the pain from the knife that awakens the body and mind? Or is it the deep scarlet blood that tells you you’re still human? Is it possible to feel no pain? Maybe it’s the short stabs of pain that temporally frees you from your soul?

I held the knife up to my wrist, my hands shaking so much, I could barely hold it properly. I was always curious to how it would feel to slice it through my soft skin… this time, I’m curious enough to find out.

Yes. I’m afraid of leaving scars.

I’m afraid of death.

I’m afraid of the excruciating pain.

Although I cannot deny, the thought that scares me the most,

Is living .

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Sorry for disappearing for such a long time guys >~< I was really busy these days but here’s a new chap for ya !! tell ya the truth, I have NO IDEA where this is going.. but I’m going to try and pull it back to my original plotline. OH AND SORRY FOR MAKING MINHO THE EVIL PERSON but it had to be somebody rit ? :P anywayz, more 2min will appear next chapter and I’m thinking Jongkey <3

COMMENT AND SUBSCRIBE GUYS <3<3<3

Its my motivation to keep on writing ! ! ;)