I had two plans. I was really gonna do it, too.

Plan 1: Become best friends and live happily ever after, the end.

Plan 2: Move on.

After the first plan failed miserably - actually, I wouldn't say it failed. I'd just say it didn't go as planned since we do say hi and all, we just don't talk outside of school. 

I decided to really and truly go through with the second plan. Trust me, it's harder than it looks. How can you get over someone you've literally fawned over for nearly over  a year?

It was going really well. I stopped talking about him with Shelley and my other friends, and I rarely even saw him. I tried to stop myself from looking for him in the halls and going in the directions where I knew he would be at specific times. 

I had this going for like 2 weeks and I was doing pretty well.

To back up just a litte - how pathetic am I? I actually had to STOP myself from going places when my name doesn't even cross his mind once. He's always on my mind and I am never on his.

I was walking down the hallway towards the end of lunch when I looked up and I saw Chan coming in my direction with our friend, Min. 

"Hey, Min. Hey, Chandler." I say as casually as possible. It's just too bad my heart is racing five million times faster and my face lit up. I couldn't even stop the smile that was erupting on my face when I said the second boy's name. 

They both responded nonchalantly and I continued walking.

It's the small instances like this that make things seem so hopeless. I want to get over him, but I can't control my own heart. It started beating fast of its own accord, okay? That's when I know that since I'm in, I'm in deep. 

Too deep.

> Min: LOL i saw the way u smiled at him 

> Cassi: was i that obvious?!?!!

> Min: he hates u

> Cassi: i know :(

> Min: i'm just messin with ya. btw we're hanging out tonight if you wanna join ;)

> Cassi: wish i could ... u know my parents

> Min: u will NEVER get anywhere in life if u keep hiding in ur house

> Cassi: be real okay? you're two older boys... they don't even know who you are and they know about my crush on chan for some odd reason

> Min: cmonnnn how badly do you want him

> Cassi: shut up. :)

I'm a rule follower and I'll admit that right up front. No boys. No boys. No boys.

That's been the first rule since I can remember, and I'm good to the bone. I have never broken any trust I've had with my parents and they've made it pretty darn clear what would happen if I did. 

But what if I'm willing to break the rules for him?