I boldly approached Chan later that night.

"So... you and Jessica?" I gave him a suggestive and knowing look. He chuckled in that cute way of his and a look of innocence flashed across his face.

"Whaa?" He laughed back. "Me and Jessica what?"

"Oh, puh-lease! You know what I'm talking about!" I joked.

"I actually have no idea what you're saying, so um..." He proceeded to back away from the snacks table and pretended to be weirded out before returning next to me and chuckling.

"I don't plan on dating until college." He informed me. My heart sank jussssst a little before my face brightened. 

"Wow, what a coincidence! I can't date until college. My parents won't allow it." His eyes widened. 

"Wait, seriously? That's a little rough.. but they have your best interests in mind." I nodded, pouring myself a drink and wanting to prolong this conversation. This was definitely the longest discussion we've ever had by far.

"So. What classes are you taking next year?" This was an appropriate quesiton since it was second semester and we had to already fill out our course selections.

He rattled off his classes and I figured out that we were taking one of the same classes... we had been doing so for the last two years (not that he would know hehe) but I never had enough luck to be in the same period as him. 

After ten minutes of forcing this conversation, I realized that we did not really have anything else to say to each other. And that's when it dawned on me that I truly did not know Chan. 

I did not know Chan.

I did not know his favorite color.

I did not know his deepest fear.

I did not know his craziest dreams.

I did not know how his personal life was.

I did not know Chan.

I think at one point during this two year period of crushing on him since I came to high school, I truly wanted to get to know him. But now, seeing him standing here and seeing the way he looked at Jessica... I knew that this isn't how it was supposed to happen. If Chan didn't want to date until college, and he liked another girl - didn't that make my already slim chances that much slimmer? And plus, I didn't know anything about him and he certainly didn't really care about knowing much about me.

He was a nice friend.

And I think for now, that's all he will ever be. And maybe, for once, I feel like I'm going to be okay with that. I don't need a boyfriend right now, and all I've ever wanted was to get over Chan.

But now what?