There's another girl in the picture. Actually, there's quite a few people I haven't really talked about yet, but I have to finish all these introductions before I get on with the story.

Shelley is one of my best friends. She is one of the sweetest girls ever, but she is very naive, innocent, and oblivious. Of course, she knows about my crush on Chan, because honestly at this point, who doesn't? I've told everyone who really needed to know, but she was the one girl who has been there through this journey from the beginning. 

Just recently, she has been part of his Bible study group and now they see each other weekly. Of course, who wouldn't get jealous? 

Shelley has told me numerous times that she does not and will not ever like Chan... but let's be honest here. Who will not ultimately fall for an attractive and friendly person? WHO? Although she claims that she does not find him the least bit cute, I feel like she is unconciously harboring secret feelings for him. 

Oh, the drama.

The fact of the matter is, it's not really that I am absolutely in love with Chan Li. It's just that I, Cassi Bai, wish that for once, I could be loved.

And I know that sounds all dramatic and everything, but Dad always says that love is an illusion.

Thank you for enlightening me, O Wise Father.

I want to believe in love. I want to have that feeling that you are special, important, and most of all, if you disappear, someone will want you. Don't we all just want to belong to something and feel like we play significant roles? No one really wants to be that wallflower that no one notices because that makes you feel small and not important.

Trust me, you are important, and you are worth it.

I should honestly listen to my own pep talks because I need to reevaluate where I stand. I'm not a really self-concious person, but I do like looking nice or being noticed by the opposite gender once in a while. I don't mean to come off as shallow, but who hasn't smiled to themself when they were checked out?

The point I'm trying to make is, sometimes, we need certain things in life to help us keep our heads up and actually feel confident about ourselves. For me... that's being noticed. I don't want to be ignored.

Back to Shelley - you just wait! I know she will develop feelings for him eventually. I don't want to be mean, but I honestly haven't worried that she would be competition. But really, you never know.