I walked angry down the street.

I am no object…I am a person…A LIVING HUMAN BEING!

Why does not a single man understand that?!

…

Stars…. I reach for the stars

I looked up into the sky. It was slowly getting dark

I need to be near the stars.

Isn’t there a saying, that if you catch a star or its dust that you will be happy forever?

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

It was already dark as I reached Namsan.

I walked up to Namsan Tower.

There were many love couples.

Love…. I don’t need it.

A space caught my eye. It was a little area under a lovely tree with a bench beneath it. Downwards I could see Seoul’s city lights upwards a clear sky filled with thousands of stars.

It somehow called me.

I closed my eyes and looked up the sky.

The feeling of charging… the night charges me.

Maybe I am really a Miyako…a beautiful night child.

The feeling of dreaming is the best. I didn’t even recognized my surroundings nor would I care anyways.

Still with closed eyes I got out of my shoes. There was a bit of snow left on the ground.

I began dancing on my toes. Soft and elegant I spun around while moving my hands in wave movements. I felt like dancing on clouds.

My feet started to hurt. But that wasn’t even a teardrop of the pain what my heart had experienced.

Somehow the pain felt good.

But at the same time…it torned me apart.

I twirled around quicker until I tripped.

When I hit the surface I just laid there while looking up in the sky.

Slowly it started snowing.

“YAH! DID YOU HURT YOURSELF?” a voice screamed. I didn’t even look at the voices owner nor did I answer.

“OF COURSE YOU HURT YOURSELF! YOU BLEED! I’m such a dumb person for asking that” the voice continued. I didn’t move an inch.

“Uh…. What’s wrong?” a face blocked now my view to the sky. I could see it but I didn’t “get” it. It was simply a face.

The face got replaced by hands that waved in front of my face.

“MOVE! Shooot….I need to call the ambulance…” he muttered while shaking my body.

It felt so unreal.

I started crying.

“NO! DON’T CRY! EVERYTHING IS OK!” the voice said quickly.

“You are already blue. We need to warm you up” the voice said and his owner wrapped me a jacket around my body and hugged me while moving his arms up and down.

“You soon should feel warmer” the voice said.

Warm….people say love is warm… like the sun

Sun…. taeyang….

NO! I HATE THE SUN! I HATE IT!

Snow….I like snow…I like freezing…I like….being cold…

I quickly stood up and started walking away. The jacket I dropped in the nearest bin.

“You…” the voice said and I could hear footsteps.

Then somebody grabbed my arm forced me to stop.

“Stop. You’re hurt. You need to see a doctor” the voice sounded concerned.

I fought the hands off me.

“NO! I’M ALRIGHT! I DON’T NEED A DOCTOR OK?! I AM NORMAL! NORMAL PEOPLE DON’T NEED HELP! I AM ALRIGHT”! I shouted at the voice’s owner.

I panicked and run away. But soon I fell over my own feet once again facing the floor.

I got pulled in a warm embrace. I tried fighting the warm body but the grip of its owner was too strong.

“Shhh… everything is alright” the voice said.

I started relaxing. I cried. I cried mute.

The person forced me to face it’s face.

“Look at me! Not through me! Please…” he pleaded me.

I don’t know why but I looked at the face. This time I saw him.

“You…. Kimchi… I ….mango..”I said happy and a tear dropped down my face.

“Ms.Pabo?...no way… I searched for you yesterday the whole day and night…” he said flabbergasted.

We looked at each other without saying anything. The snow got now heavier and thicker.

He was the first to break the rigour.

“You need to freeze! And you are still hurt.” he pointed at my feet.

They were red from my blood. I must have cut them while dancing on the rough stones but I wasn’t sure.

It didn’t hurt at all. Something else was way more painful.

“Let’s bring you into a store and clean your wounds.” Youngmin said friendly.

I looked at the way I came from. There were bloody footsteps to be seen.

I don’t feel anything.

“Please….leave me. I am no good. Trust me…run away from me as fast as you can.”I said serious and in terror while pushing him away from me.

“Forget me. It’s better if we wouldn’t even have meet.” I said while smiling at his stunned face and then walked away.

“Why?” he simply asked.

I stopped walking

Why…? Why…?

“What happened with you? Share your heart with me…I am willing to take it and mend it” Youngmin said.

“What heart?” I laughed “It got burned a while ago.”

“By what?”

“By my sun…by my taeyang…” I said slowly and weak.

“Let me be your moon then” he said.

I looked at him

“Moon?” I asked confused.

“A day has two faced….one where you can see taeyang and one where you can spot tal.(I googled moon in Korean…well it says 달 but I’m not quite sure if it’s really tal)” Youngmin said while holding his hands in my direction.

_____________________________________________

Should I grab for him?

“My moon” I said and thanked the stars for my new moon.

We sat in a café in which we were able to see Seoul panorama-like.

It’s so beautiful.

I looked at Youngmin

With beautiful people.

I thought about souls not looks.

He has a good soul…..I feel so bad for him…

I will hurt him. Badly…

Right in his soul.

Broken….

Yougmin treated my wounds and orders a hot chocolate for us two.

He smiled at me the whole time and talked about some things I didn’t get. I only listened to his melodic voice.

“Thank you Moon” I said shyly.

He sat next to me on a chair took my hand and looked at me.

“No need to be. You needed me and I was there for you” he said and looked deep into my eyes with a sad expression.

“Do you wanna talk about…..the sun?” he asked slowly not knowing if I would explode.

I smiled sad at him.

“Sun… the sun is warm… in fact..it’s so warm that you can’t be near it. If you are…you will get burned and die. But if you burn but survive you’ll walk your lifetime through life with ugly scarfs.” I paused.

“I was near taeyang….now look at me” I said and simply smiled.

A tear slid down my right cheek.

“There is no sun in my life. I walk in the dark.” I said without feelings in my voice.

“But…there is now me. The moon will light up your path.” Youngmin said.

I looked shocked at him

“Impossible” I said sadly and looked up the sky to face the moon.

A burning moon. 

It looked like taeyang would fight with tal.

A burning moon?

Do I burn the moon?