How am I supposed to erase you alone and live
In those moments where we once walked together
Like that, the things we made beside each other

- Gone, Jin

It was almost past five in the afternoon and you are still unpacking your stuff and then arranging them to the places they needed to be placed. You decorated Myungsoo’s old room first before you arranged your stuff to where they belong.

Myungsoo didn’t seem to clean his room properly after the two decided to sleep with each other because some of his dvds are still tuck under his bed.

You let out a laugh as you placed the dvds on your bedside table, “Maybe his wife could make a good use of this or something”.

It was still raining outside and it seems like there’s a typhoon as well but why do you feel hot? It’s like there are no air coming inside your room.

You wiped your sweat and touched your temple with the sole of your palm, “Whoa. I must’ve done a lot today. I feel tired. All I want is to sleep right now”.

You removed your sweater to change into your sleeveless shirt but the cloth seems to be stuck on something, it was clinging on your neck that you couldn’t remove your sweatshirt off of it.

You reached out for that necklace and realized that you didn’t give Kai back everything he gave you because this very thing is the most important thing that he left you, his mom’s necklace.

You squinted at the very sight of the thing and then it hit you…

"Kai! Open this!" You shouted as you bang the door to their house, tears streaming down your face.

It’s not like you’re crying because you were hurt but because you know Kai is in a very depressing mode right now because you heard his mom killed herself.

Kai didn’t leave his house ever since. He also didn’t try to call you or text you about it which made you feel disappointed because normally he would confide his problems to you.

You know that his mom has anxiety problems but you didn’t know it would lead to this. Not to the point that she will kill herself. Not to the point wherein she will choose to leave Kai alone to face all of their problems.

"Kai please open the door!" You pleaded once again and yet you haven’t heard anything inside.

You tried to go to their back porch because that’s where the two of you usually would go to enter his room when the two of you need some private time alone, a place wherein no one would see the both of you. And to your surprise, it is open which means Kai’s inside.

You whispered his name, calling him as you tried to open each and every door in the hallway of their house. You tried looking for him in his room but he’s not there either.

You were about to leave until you heard his muffled sobs. You traced the sound and it leads you to his mother’s room.

You opened the door and you found Kai there, sitting at the corner of the room. He is crouched there crying underneath his hoodie. He is holding his knees to his chest and his head hung low on the top of his knees.

He looks like child.

A fragile and poor looking child.

You’ve never seen him like this before. He was more like a man to you rather than a boy who would crouch at the corner like he’s afraid of something.

He must’ve not that know you were there because he was busy in his own world.

"Oh God Kai" That was the only thing you said before rushing to his side and hugging him like there’s no tomorrow.

"Ssssh! Kai it’ll be alright. Everything’s going to be alright" You hushed as you felt a tear coming down from your eye.

You removed the hood from his head and saw that he looks more miserable than you expected. He looks thin and he has big circles under his eyes like he haven’t slept for days. His eyes looks red and swollen as well from too much crying.

All you did was kissed his eyes and reassured, “Kai please stop crying. I’m still here. You still have me, okay? Please don’t do this to yourself, babe. I love you okay?”

"But why does she need to do this. Why does she have to leave me?" He whispered as he gazes through your eyes.

You suddenly felt weak because it’s those eyes again. But this time, those eyes screams pain and agony because he lost someone important to him. You kiss him on the lips to reassure him that you will never leave his side.

He rested his head on your lap as you ran your hands through his hair. You told him stories about your day, which made him chuckle despite his situation.

He looked at you intently while you were talking and suddenly said, “Hey Cho, Thanks. Thanks for always being right here for me”. And then he let out a jaw-dropping smile which made you smile as well and said, “Why are you thanking me? I was not there on the time when you truly needed me. I feel guilty for not being there for you”.

"But you’re here now. You’re here now even though I didn’t call nor text you. You’re here now even though I didn’t tell you what happened" He mumbled. "I don’t want to seem so soft to you that’s why I’m hiding here all by myself"

"Hey, you don’t have to act all tough at times like this. You just lost your mom, of course you’re going to mourn over her. I mean they can’t expect you to be normal at times like this, right?" you defended.

He gave you a gentle smile, “I know. I just wanted to be alone though sometimes that’s the thing that I’m most afraid of. I’m afraid being alone”. He took a breath and twirled your hair, “You won’t leave me, right?”

He looked at you like his life depended on your answer. Sincerity. All you can see is sincerity and a bit of hope in his eyes.

A smile was plastered on your lips after you said, “Of course, Kai. I’ll never leave you no matter what”.

He sat up straight beside you and then leaned at you for a kiss. “I love you, Cho” He said through the kiss.

He leaned away and offered you his hands. He open his fist that reveals a necklace lying on his palms. A necklace with a ring hooked at the middle.

It’s not just a ring on a necklace.

It’s his mother’s wedding ring.

"What’s that?" You said all of a sudden.

"My mom’s ring. I want to give this to you" He grinned at you like that was the most normal thing to say in this world.

You frowned at him, “I can’t accept that, Kai. That’s your mom’s possession”. You closed his fist and pushed his hands away from you, “He’s your mom. You should keep that”.

"It’s not actually hers. She told me that Nana (grandma) gave this to her. It was from Nana’s ex-boyfriend before she met my grand dad. I guess this ring happens to pass down in tradition. My mom told me to give this to the girl who would accept me as I am. The one who would truly loves me" He murmured as he let the necklace in front of him, dangle before he looked at you and smiled, "That’s you, Cho".

You felt yourself blush with what he said and then all you could feel all of a sudden is him putting the necklace on you.

Your heart kept on beating fast and you don’t know why. This necklace seems to be magical in some ways and all you could do is stare at it. It was like the light of the room that shines through the minute gems that encircles it, glistening like the reflection of the sun in a crystal clear body of water.

You bit your lip because you don’t know what to say instead you just hugged him and thanked him for the necklace.

"So this is not her wedding ring?" You ask curiously as you fiddled with the ring on your chest.

"Nope. She just uses this a lot but I think this thing is much more important than that wedding ring. At least this ring can notify forever than that stupid ring" He taunted.

"And then there’s you" He winked at you then kissed you at the temple. "We’re forever right?"

You closed your eyes as you felt him inhaled the scent of your hair, “Of course. Forever”

A lot of people think that ‘forever’ is just a word. Like forever isn’t a promise but a reassurance that expires anytime you want it to.

You just hate how he can easily say that word without even meaning it.

“Forever, my ” You mocked as you looked at your bare self in front of the mirror. You frowned at the sight of the necklace but you couldn’t bring yourself to remove it off of you.

It wasn’t because of Kai but because of the magic this ring brings when you touch it.

This ring could signify true love, right?

And it’s not Kai’s by the way because it has been passed down through generations. It was not theirs to start with.

This may make you feel like you stole something but you can feel like the ring on your chest was meant to be given to you from the very start.

Like this thing was meant to be yours and now you have it.

"Choan! It’s time for dinner" You heard your sister shout outside your room.

"Okay. I’ll be there in a sec" You shook your thoughts off your head and wore your sleeveless shirt.

You looked once again at the reflection of the necklace then at the flyer, you received this afternoon.

Well it’s not late to start over again. You said to yourself.

You snatched the flyer and folded it so that it could fit your pocket before you fixed yourself before leaving your room to go downstairs.

The rain was still somewhat pouring down and it wasn’t just rain but a storm outside. It was the mix of the coolness of the damp air and the wetness of the raindrops. But he doesn’t care.

He’s not ready to go home and face Sungyeol or any of the other members again.

Hoya took the last sip of his can of beer before he crumpled the tin can in his fist as easy as crumpling a piece of paper.

He doesn’t care if he’s wet or he doesn’t have a place to go to. His family is in Busan now and the only family he had here was Infinite and his cousin and yet doesn’t know where his cousin lives in Seoul.

He sat at a bench in front of Hangang River. He could see some people with umbrellas and he could feel their hot stairs like he’s some kind of psycho enjoying the coldness of the atmosphere and the strong rain.

His phone kept on vibrating ever since he left the studio. He’s not in the mood right now to talk to anyone that’s why he’s not answering any of their calls but the vibrating keeps on bugging him that he brought out his phone out of the inner pocket of his jacket to look at the caller.

It was an unknown caller.

He scrunched his eyebrows and pressed the answer button, “What do you want?!”

"Sorry! I was trying to call you for 2 hours now and yet you’re not answering your phone"

It was a not so familiar voice to him but he knew he’ve heard of the guy’s voice somewhere. He just didn’t know where or when.

"Who’s this?" He asked as he looked at the number to see if this was familiar to him but he failed, it was his first time to see that number. Ever.

'This can't be a fan, right? He talks so informal to me like we've known each other for years now' He said to himself.

"Don’t you remember me? It’s me Jaeho, your cousin. You know, the greatest dancer in Busan" Hoya heard him chuckle in the other line.

It was Jaeho, the cousin who first introduced him of dancing when they were young. The guy who made him dream of being a dancer. It’s been years since they’ve last talked that Hoya nearly forgot about him.

Hoya cracked an awkward smile, “Oh.. Uhh.. How are you, hyung?”

"How am I?" Jaeho retorted. "How are you?! You’re so known right now. I think you nearly forgot who I am, you idiot".

He chuckled. At least he has someone who’s not from the group, to talk to right now. Because even though they were friends, he also needs to take a break from them.

"I’m okay, hyung. How about you? Where do you live now? It’s been a long time" He mumbled as he duck his head low when a girl with a black umbrella squinted her eyes at the sight of Hoya, like she could identify him despite the hood on his head that hides his features.

"Oh. I’m here in Seoul now. I thought your mom told that to you. I’m just near Jangchung-dong. You can come here if you have some time though" Jaeho said.

Bingo!

"Wait, how about now?" Hoya’s eyes sparkled as he grabbed his trash and stood up to throw them in the nearest trash can.

"Wait, what- Now?!" Jaeho’s voice suddenly felt alarmed.

"Yeah! I’m near Hangang River, now. I know a cafe near Jangchung-dong. Let’s meet there and then I’ll stay in your house" Hoya said firmly as he strut the sidewalk.

"Stay?! What do you mean-"

Hoya interrupted, “I’ll be waiting there. And can you please bring some clothes? Okay hyung. Bye”.

He ended the call so that his cousin won’t say any rejections to him. He wore his face mask and pave his way as fast and as cautious as he can through the crowd of people walking at the sidewalk.

You look around your surroundings as you sip your bowl of soup. Hyejin sits infront of you and even though the two of lived with each in New York, you two have never been alone in the same room.

You still feel awkward with her in some ways and you are not the type of person who would initiate a conversation, first.

And yet the silence bugs you.

"Is it normally like this?" You frowned. Hyejin looked at you in curiousity and said, "Yeah. I’m always alone here. I mean Myungsoo doesn’t come home that often and I have a lot of things to think of, especially our business here so I don’t really get bored".

Hyejin’s reaction seem to be sad and dismal, when she said those things. She misses her husband, you’re quite sure of that. You thought they were the most perfect couple you’ve ever knew but then you were wrong.

There’s no such thing as perfect in this world.

"Where’s your husband?" You said nonchalantly as you drink your glass of water.

"He’s with his group right now. He comes like twice or thrice a week but right now, I guess he’ll be more busy with their group’s comeback" She tried to fake a smile and then popped her food in .

You scrunched your eyebrows, “Are you sure, you are not bored here? Like you’re a married woman and you’re alone at your house? Doesn’t that irk you?”.

"I’m not bored ‘cause his sister pretty much visit here from time to time" She responded. "How about you?"

"How about what?"

"Where’s your boyfriend? Does he know, you’re here?" Hyejin asked intently. She dropped her chin at the back of her hand, waiting for your answer.

You avoided her gaze and continued eating your food, “Who told you I have a boyfriend?”

Great! Lamest response ever

Hyejin let out a playful chuckled and said, “Oh please! I can see the two of sometimes, making out or something in your bed. No offense but, you should know that you are not the only person in the house and it’s your responsibility to shut the door”.

You glared at her. You tried to hide the embarassment in your face by throwing daggers of stare at her but your face betrayed you because you can feel that your cheek’s revealing now, great tints of red on your face and it’s too late for you to hide it.

She giggled even more at the sight of your face, “Oh Cho! You’re blushing right now. There’s no need for you to be shy. I’m still your sister, by the way”.

You just shook your head in disbelief, thinking of paybacks or something that will snap her so hard she won’t be able to talk about this anymore.

"And oh! If you were worried if some maid or Sungjae saw the two of you as well, I think that would be the least possibility ‘cause I’m closing your door silently in a way that it doesn’t disturb the two of you, cause you know, I know how that feels and my room’s like 2 steps away from yours" She elaborated more as she stuffed food in , casually.

"Can we like, not talk about this anymore?!" You snapped, annoyed.

You may be like this, to her but you were having a little sigh of relief in your insides. It’s not that you don’t give her some gratitude for that, it’s just that you don’t want to be burden about the things you needed to thank her for.

"Okay, fine. Relax" She laughed and then continued eating her food. Her phone suddenly rang which she answered right away.

The caller id flashed ‘Jini’.

"Hello Jini, what happened?" She said while nibbling and savouring her food.

But Jini didn’t reply. Instead, all Hyejin can hear in her phone are muffled sobs. This made her feel nervous for her friend.

"Why? What happened? Answer me!" She demanded as her face became more serious than ever.

You only eyed her for a while and then continued eating your food. It wasn’t your business anyway, there’s no need to pry with their stuffs.

"Sungyeol" Jini whispered. "I-I broke up with him".

"What? Why?!" Hyejin exclaimed. "Is this something about those girls again trying to contact him?"

Hyejin didn’t wait for Jini to say ‘yes’ because right now, she can feel Jini’s nod on the other line. “Oh my God! Not again! I swear to god. I’m gonna tell Myungsoo about this. I just can’t let this slide. He’ve hurt you enough”

"No" Jini pleaded. "I’ll be the one who’ll talk it out to him. I’ll say that it was a mutual decision. That we didn’t feel like dating each other anymore and we want to continue our relationship as friends. I don’t want to burden my brother. You know that, right?"

Hyejin softened, “I certainly know that but Jini! You’re the one that’s suffering. Myungsoo should’ve give him a beating some time ago”.

"Look. I know they’re best friends but Sungyeol still hasn’t learned his lesson. I just hate him for doing this to you" Hyejin continued.

"Can you please go here? I need someone to talk to, right now and I don’t want to tell this to my mom. She’ll tell this to Myungsoo.."

You stood up from your seat and set your foot to the staircase, “Okay I’ll be there in 10 minutes. Wait for me!”.

"Sure. Thank you" Jini responded

"Anything for you" Hyejin said. "By the way, who’s the culprit of the breakup of the most complicated couple on earth?"

Jini held her breath before she answered, "Minah".