I woke up, having a headache.

I sat up, only then realizing that the annoying beeping had stopped. I was confused for a moment, regarding the last two times I had woken up the machine had still been . But then... was it really true? Had Hankyung really died?

I looked around the room. The same bright light that seemed to be a constant thing here, the same white ceiling and walls, the same white bed, window and floor. Only - no machine, no one who would look at me with an annoyed or bored expression or whatever else. Just me. Me and my thoughts.

Had it really happened? Had it been reality where they told me that Hannie had died?

What time was it even?

And what about my parents? They had told me that they were in intensive care. But what did that mean? Were they alive? Would they survive? Had one of them or both of them even died while I had been unconcious?

Tears started to form in my eyes but I quickly blinked them away. I was Kim Heechul! And Kim Heechul didn't cry!

I looked around once more and then decided to press the red button. I wanted something and you always got told that you should press that button then.

About half a minute later, a nurse entered the room. She wasn't thin but I also wouldn't call her fat. She was something in between. "How can I help you, Mr Kim?"

"I-I.." I was a bit confused by that nice behavior after the previous night but then reminded myself to be polite as well and that last night most likely had been nothing but an accident. "I heard that my parents were in intensive care. Can I... can I visit them? Please? I need to know if they are fine!" I frowned. Hadn't I said something like that just a bit ago?

"They're both still unconcious... I don't know if it would be wise to visit them right now..."

"Please?" I looked at the woman with pleading eyes. I kinda needed to see them. I didn't know how else I was supposed to believe her.

The woman sighed. "Okay. But only for a little moment, do you understand that?"

I nodded eagerly. "Arasseo!"

Then she led me to the intensive care station. We had to take the elevator but not for too long. During the ride I continued asking. "When will I be released?"

"I can't tell you. Only the doctor can decide that. But I guess that he will come to check on you later."

I nodded. "And... what about my parents? Can you already give me a rough estimate what will happen with them?"

"I don't work on their station, so no, I'm sorry but I can't. You will have to ask the doctor in charge for the intensive care or one of my co-workers there."

"I will do that. But..." I lowered my head. "Can I see Hankyung again? Please?"

This time she hesitated and when she didn't answer I lifted my head. I was about to say something but then the doors opened. "We have to exit here," she said and I could see clearly on her face that she didn't want to talk about Hankyung. My Hannie. Was that a 'no'? I couldn't even see him once more? Was he in such a bad condition? Did he have a lot of wounds? Was his body maybe deformed? Was she afraid that I wouldn't recognize him anymore? Was she afraid that I would lose conciousness? But she let me see my parents! Why couldn't I see Hannie then???  I wanted to see him! See him one last time! Tell him what I felt about him! Let the realisation hit me. Because those words - 'He's dead.' And? When will he wake up again? I still couldn't really believe that he should be gone, that the man I loved should be dead, that he would never open his eyes again and pull me into his warm and tight hug.

I must've started to cry because the nurse looked at me strangely. "Mr Kim? Should we rather go back to your room? I guess that all of this is still too much for you..."

I shook my head furiously. "No! If I can't see Hannie then I at least want to see my parents! And you will see, I will walk out there and everything will be fine with me, I won't lose conciousness! And then you can also show me Hankyung! Because after that, I don't think that anything will be worse and more shocking in a while! So, I can see him then?"

"No."

"Please?"

"I-"

"Please, noona~?" I used my agyeo and the fact that I was y - though I hadn't looked into a mirror yet so I didn't know if there was any damage I didn't feel - to convince her.

And as expected, it worked. She sighed. "Mr Kim... I will be fired if you faint!"

"Is that a 'yes'?"

"We'll see after you visited your parents."

"Thank you!" I smiled at her brightly - at least until I noticed that smiling hurt. I stopped smiling and instead followed her further. She greeted some of her colleagues so I did the same - and only then noticed how stupid I had to look in those worn out hospital clothes. I sighed. Well, I couldn't change that right now. I would just call a friend later and ask him to bring me something comfortable to wear. And when he came to my place, I could also give him my keys and - did I even still have my keys?

"Um... excuse me? What about the things I had with me? My keys. And my purse?"

"The things you had with you are all in the cupboard in your room," she answered.

"Thank you."

We came to a stand in front one of the doors on the endless hallway. "Are you sure that you want to do this?"

I nodded. I wouldn't back out. I had to be sure that they were alive.

The nurse nodded as well and then opened the first door, let me walk into the small interspace, then she opened the se