“I love you too,” I whispered and we both said our goodbyes and hung up. I walked into the living room and hugged Baekhyun tightly, silently thanking him for being there for me this whole time.

***

“I’m not jealous, I’m not jealous, I’m not jealous,” I hugged myknees, rocking backwards and forwards on the couch as I eyed the front door to their apartment.

Since he had officially moved in with Kris a month ago after practically living there for weeks on end anyways, he took it upon himself to sit by the door every evening waiting for the older man to return from work. Chanyeol had just entered university and wasn’t working at the time, so he often got home earlier than Kris despite them leaving the apartment at the same time each morning.

Today, Kris had explained that he would be arriving home late because he was having dinner with Tao – “Just as friends!” Kris has been quick to add when Chanyeol gave him that look because maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t over his jealous tendencies yet – but Chanyeol couldn’t force himself to break the habit of waiting like a puppy for Kris’ return.

Why the red haired boy was waiting around was unknown to him, Kris had even suggested for him go out and see his friends instead of staying home all alone. Chanyeol agreed, stating that he might go over to Kai’s or Baekhyun’s house to watch a movie – he didn’t want Kris feeling bad – but in the end, he couldn’t bring himself to leave his post.

“I think you’re obsessed with him.”

Kai was one of his best friends, not like Baekhyun, but definitely the second closest and when he made observations about Chanyeol, he was usually right. The boy, although quiet and shy around others, was quite loud and expressive when it came to his friends and he never hesitated to speak his mind.

“I am not, I just-“

“Really love him!” Baekhyun and Kai finished his weak defense for him, and Chanyeol’s ears burned redder than his hair.

“I know you do, but it’s getting unhealthy, Channie.” The boy in question had scoffed at that; Kai was only saying that because he’d cancelled his plans with his friends multiple times because Kris was home and he didn’t want him to feel lonely or he was planning on hanging out with Kris. Those rare occasions when he did go out with the others, he always returned home early, stating that he needed to get home before Kris returned from work or that he wanted to keep Kris company.

“Okay, maybe I hang out with him a bit much but that doesn’t make me obsessed.”

“Then why don’t you spend the night here?” Kai challenged.

“Away from Kris,” Baekhyun added, knowingly.

Chanyeol visibly paled. A knot formed in his stomach. Okay, maybe he was a bit obsessed.

Chanyeol lay back on the couch, forcing his tense muscles to relax as he eyed the clock. Kris would have been at Tao’s house for an hour and a half now. Suddenly, he shot up as realization hit him. He’d been seated on the couch for an hour and fourty five minutes – since Kris’ work ended – waiting for his boyfriend whom Chanyeol knew for a fact would be home late. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair; could obsession even begin to cover what he felt for the older man? Devotion, love, none of those words was strong enough to him. He knew that if anything were to happen, if Kris was to leave or anyone was to take him from him, he would break inside.

“Wow, where did that come from?” Chanyeol was shocked at his own thoughts. Kris wasn’t leaving any time soon, he would make sure of that.“Baekhyunnie,” I whispered, the pet name slipping out as a force of habit as I pushed against his chest. “We can’t do this…”

“I know, Yeollie, I’m sorry,” Baekhyun pulled back, but I could see in his eyes that he wanted more.

I felt awkward now, not wanting to reject my best friend but knowing that I had no feelings for him. “No, I’m sorry, I just-“

“Love Kris, I know,” Baekhyun nodded in resignation before reaching past me and taking my cellphone off the coffee table. “I put this on silent when we came in here,” He admitted guiltily, “It’s been lighting up this whole time.”

Surprised that I hadn’t noticed, I grabbed the phone and was alerted to multiple missed calls and texts from Kris asking where I was and why I wasn’t responding. He seemed really worried and it only caused me to feel even guiltier.

‘Yeollie, where are you? I’m so sorry, I take it back just please answer your phone!’ I read one of the texts and smiled a little.

“You should call him,” Baekhyun commented, nodding at the time stamp which read that the text had been sent half an hour ago.

I nodded grateful that my friend was being so supportive about everything, and stood to leave the room. Entering the main hallway, I sat on the floor and leaned against the wall. I noticed the phone in my hand light up and quickly pressed the answer button before putting it to my ear.

“Hello?” I had barely gotten the word out before I heard Kris’ shocked exclamation.

“Yeollie! Oh my God I thought you were never going to answer! Look, I’m so sorry, I was being a jerk and I shouldn’t have said those things and I know I pay a lot of attention to Tao but I love you and-“ Kris’s words blurred together as it seemed that he was just saying them all with one breath and I smiled and shook my head.

When I realized that he couldn’t see me, I interrupted his rant. “Kris! Kris, it’s okay, I was being overdramatic and jealous and I can be really possessive sometimes, I know, I’m just so scared of losing you,” I hadn’t intended for that last part to come out but then it hit me, that really was the root of all my worries and stress.

 There was a gentle chuckle and I swore that Kris sounded relieved. “I promise you,” He spoke, his voice holding more conviction than I had ever heard from him, “I’m not going anywhere.”

The two of us immediately went into gooey romance mode and I must have sat on that floor for an hour just professing my love for him over and over again. Baekhyun had just become a shadow in the dark living room, sitting on the couch in silence. I felt guilty that he could overhear me, especially after what he just said, but I was too giddy to do anything about it. If I could have stayed in that moment forever, I would have.

When I let out a yawn, I realized just how late, or at this point, early, it was.

“I’m probably gonna crash here if it’s okay,” I said to Kris but glanced into the doorway of the living room to get permission from Baekhyun. When he nodded, I continued, “So I’ll see you tomorrow,  okay babe?”

“Yeah,” Kris sounded tired too, and I guiltily realized that he had work in the morning. “I love you,” He added before patiently waiting for my response.

***

Kris and I had been dating for nearly a year and things were getting really rough lately. Kris had come home to me asleep on the couch last night waiting up for him even though I promised him I wouldn’t and let’s just say he wasn’t exactly pleased.

I was beginning to worry that he was growing annoying with all the attention that I was giving him, why else would he be heading over to Tao’s almost every day after work now? Okay maybe it wasn’t every day since tonight would be the second night he was doing it, but it felt like every day for me. I just wanted Kris to myself, was that too much to ask for?

I was too scared to bring up those thoughts to Kris, however, because of the last fight we’d had so long ago. I still could see it in the way Kris was hesitant to talk to me about the younger Chinese boy, the way he looked guilty when he announced that he was going to see him, Kris hadn’t gotten over that fight either. Maybe he was scared that I would blow up at him or that I would get upset and run off again. After that fight, things had changed between us.

Seeing Kris so angry at me, hearing the things he said to me, though it should have wounded me I felt even more devoted to him, even more obsessed with the idea of keeping him glued to me 24/7. For the first few months after our fight Kris had returned my attention full force, but lately I could see him drifting away again.

Baekhyun and I were awkward at first, neither of us spoke about the kiss or his confession but every time we saw each other we were both reminded of that moment. Sometimes, I wondered what it would be like dating him, if he would give me the attention I needed or if he would shy away like Kris. It didn’t matter, of course, I didn’t want him anyways. I didn’t want anyone other than my big blond giant.

When Kris left this morning I wanted nothing more than to grab him and tell him to stay with me, or to ask for him to come home early and not go to Tao’s. I couldn’t help it, it was Valentine’s Day, after all and although Kris was never the romantic type, it hurt me that he would go to a friend’s house instead of stay with me. I never did that of course, I’d rather die than start another fight, but now, as I sat here waiting for the second day in a row, I toyed with the idea of picking up my cellphone and calling him to come home.

“I think you’re obsessed with him.”

Shut up, Kai.

I made my decision. I grabbed my phone and began to dial the familiar number with one hand while putting on my shoes with the other hand. “Baekhyunnie,” I spoke into the phone when I heard my friend’s greeting, “I’m coming over.”