The interrogation room, was colder today, my sweater just wasn’t doing the trick. I was alone, looks like the inquisitor as I liked to call him was late. I breathed out, half expecting to see my own breath, and wondered if the heater was broken or something.

Taking a seat on the usual chair, I pulled my legs up, bringing me into my typical crouched position. I placed my chin on my knees and waited, trying to clear my mind of the haze and come up with what I could say to get out of this hell-hole.

I really don’t know why I’m here.

I just want to go home.

I’m scared.

I don’t remember.

Did I remember? My memories were mixed in with lies and dreams and nightmares. Sometimes I tried to draw the line between fact and fiction in my head, hoping to figure out the true course of events that led to my imprisonment in the too sanitary cell where I was kept. A simple bed and bedside table kept me company, with the occasional paper and pencil in case I wanted to write something down. What would I write? Love notes? Diary entries? The thought made me laugh. They treated me like a mental patient.

That thought suddenly hit me with full force. Just what was I to these people?

The door opened.  “Hello Chanyeol,” This voice was different, gentler but more compelling than the usual guy’s. It made me want to listen, to open up. I decided to describe it as friendly, and a friend was what I needed the most I think.

“My name is Kyungsoo, but you can just call me D.O,” He spoke again when I didn’t respond. He took the seat opposite me, opening his briefcase and taking out some files which he placed on the table in front of him. “I heard that you don’t really like talking, huh?” He chuckled. “Well we’ll work on that, but for now, why don’t you just listen.”

I eyed him carefully, wondering just what he planned to say to me. He opened up the first file and scanned the papers inside it before his lips and beginning to speak. I was ready to hang off of every word.

“We have the facts Chanyeol, the evidence. We know what happened, we just don’t know how or why and you’re here to help us figure that out, okay?” I remained silent, he didn’t look surprised. “Kris Wu- you two were dating, weren’t you?”

He pulled a picture out of the file, one that Lay had taken of us when we first told them we were together a year ago. He stood behind me and I was leaning back into his chest, a happy expression on my face and an annoyed one on his. We looked good together, I decided.

“He was first reported missing a little over one month ago, Febuary 15th, was he not?” D.O. continued reading off the piece of paper in front of him, scanning names and dates and explanations which I longed to see.

I knew the timeline already, I must have; I lived it. But in my mental state, he could have told me that two months ago Kris and I flew on the back of a giant dragon and I would have trouble disbelieving him.

D.O. seemed to be growing tired of my unresponsiveness and put the file down. I was disappointed, I wanted to hear more.

“They told me that you’ve been like this since they found you Chanyeol,” He spoke lowly, leaning forward as much as he can over the table to stare into my eyes, the ones that were avoiding his gaze. “You’ve been in a state of shock. At first you said things, things about Kris, about Baekhyun, but it was mostly ramblings, hard to figure out what you were really talking about. Once they put you in here you just shut down completely, refused to speak, to even open your mouth.” D.O. pushed himself away from the table, standing and coming around until he was right next to me. “You hardly eat; the doctors say that you’re catatonic. That whatever happened in the last month was so bad that you’ve tried to shut it out completely. I’m here to bring it all back.”

I was nervous at that, and for the first time I had to wonder if I really wanted those memories back.

Sometimes at night, when I laid there in the dark missing the warmth of Kris’ strong arms around me, I would see things. Flashes of blood, screaming faces, the look of horror in those brown eyes I loved so much. I would hear words that made no sense, talk of monsters and love and lies and insanity. I could feel warm blood and freezing water, dirt under my fingernails and mud on my clothes and a cold body in my hands.

I would be afraid to sleep, afraid that the memories hidden in the shadows would take me and never let me go. But when morning came and I was surrounded by light I would want to know what was hidden there, the events that led me here, whose blood and whose body and whose screaming I was thinking of.

“Now, Chanyeol, can you tell me the events that led up to Kris’ disappearance?” D.O. was in his seat again, I hadn’t even noticed him move. He was looking into a file, I guessed a police report; probably the one that had been filed when we first reported him missing. I had already told the police everything I knew, and if he had all the information there, why was he asking me?

Nevertheless, I thought back, trying to drag up the memories for myself. I decided that I had to be brave for Kris and for Baekhyunnie, I had to remember what happened and if this was going to help, I’d play D.O’s game.

"I'm just so scared of losing you."

"I promise you, I'm not going anywhere."