Baekhyun’s reply was unheard to me as I was already falling back into a deep sleep.

***

“You called the cops?” Baekhyun was on the phone when I woke up.

Over the course of the day I had gone in and out of sleep, only waking when Baekhyun brought me food or water, and I had wasted away most of the day in bed. Even now, it was already the late afternoon and I still felt like sleeping more.

“What if he just ran away?”

Those words, however, made my already perky ears perk up even more. Was he talking about Kris? To who? Who called the cops?

“You don’t know that, maybe he wanted a clean slate and that included leaving you too,” Baekhyun’s voice was getting fainter, as if he was moving down the hallway away from my bedroom door. I quickly crept out of bed and made my way to the sound, interest thoroughly piqued.

“Tao, calm down, maybe he just wanted some time off?”

So he was talking to Kris’ precious Tao. I couldn’t really find it in me to feel jealous, although maybe I was still a bit resentful.

“He could turn up tomorrow for all we know, do you really think he’d want the cops involved?”

I left my bedroom and walked into the living room. I spotted Baekhyun sitting on the couch with his back to me, and I leaned against the wall, eager to hear more.

“I don’t know just, don’t you think you should talk to us before you make any rash decisions? What? No he’s not exactly feeling well right now, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“What’s not a good idea?” I decided to make my presence known then, having a strong feeling that they were starting to talk about me.

Baekhyun looked shocked to see me but recovered quickly. “Tao wants to talk to you but I don’t think-“

I snatched the phone before he could get the rest of the words out. “Tao?”

***

“I really don’t think he ran away,” Tao sipped on the tea that Baekhyun had placed in front of us.

It was kind of weird seeing him now; I of course saw him with everyone else and had even had a few conversations with him in the past, but since I began dating Kris, I barely went out anyway, and so I hadn’t really seen him much recently. He looked just as horrible as I did, which made me feel even guiltier for the way I acted towards him.

“It just doesn’t make sense,” Tao continued. “I mean even if you guys had a fight, he wouldn’t just leave you like that, he really loves you.”

I felt even guiltier from the sincerity of Tao’s tone. “I don’t know, I ed up pretty bad…”

“What were you guys even fighting about?” The Chinese boy asked curiously.

I bit my lip awkwardly, wishing that I didn’t have to answer that. “Well… I was upset that he was gone all Valentine’s Day,” I hoped that Tao wouldn’t press the question; I didn’t want the kid to feel bad or get mad at me also.

“About that… It was kind of my fault, I guess,” I looked up quickly at that, and he gave me a sheepish look. “Kris wanted to do something special for you for Valentine’s Day and I suggested a romantic dinner and movies and all that gooey stuff. Kris wanted to do it at home, but he wanted it to be a surprised so I said he could do it at my place, so we were working on setting it up all day. I left at night and Kris went to call you to come over, but when I got back, his car was gone and all the food was still there so I got confused… Of course, then you told me about the fight and it made sense, but…“ He trailed off, looking away.

I groaned. I was officially the worst person in the world.

“I just can’t help but think that even if you guys fought, he wouldn’t let you go so easily,” Tao finished, drinking the rest of his tea.

I hadn’t even touched mine yet and it was probably pretty cool by then, but when I brought it to my mouth, it felt scalding.

“So what do you think happened?” I asked, ready for any possibility besides Kris abandoning me, no matter how much I deserved it.

“Maybe he went out for a walk or something to calm himself -he does that often – and got mugged or hurt?” Tao asked quietly.

Tao was suggesting that Kris’ disappearance was something much more sinister and though it caused a shiver to run down my spine, a feeling in my gut told me that perhaps the younger boy was right.

***

I found myself hunched over the toilet at three in the morning once again, this time feeling like my organs were just going to fall out of my mouth. However, the reason for my sickness was not only worry this time, but pure disgust and fear.

I could barely remember my nightmare now; it was fading away quickly, along with my nausea, but parts of it were still replaying in front of my eyes.

Kris, beaten and mangled, choking on his own blood on the floor. Screams of horror, pain and anger all creating the soundtrack to a horror movie like scene where he was being murdered again and again right in front of my eyes and I could do nothing to stop it. 

I shivered and stood again, and quickly found myself wrapped in my best friend’s arms once more.

“Baekhyunnie, I had a nightmare-“

“Shh, I know,” Baekhyun reached up and my hair, helping me clean up and leading me back to bed. The whole scene felt repetitive to me, but I appreciated him comforting me so much.

“I had a dream that Kris was being murdered-“

“Hush, baby, “ Baekhyun cooed, he tucked me into the warm and safe blankets, and I immediately felt sleep taking hold of me once more. “You were probably just scared from what you were talking about with Tao, Kris is probably fine, I’m sure you’ll hear from him soon.” His voice was so calm and put together, but I wasn’t feeling any more reassured.

I knew that Baekhyun was just trying to help me, but I had the strongest feeling that he was wrong, that it wasn’t okay. The blankets were no longer warm and I felt increasingly cold. I shivered.