Hey, author here just to say thank you to everyone who's stuck with me this far and even commented, especially the long comments! They really get me excited to write more and I hope you'll continue to comment :) The story will be coming to a close soon, with either chapter 17 or 18. We're almost there guys!

“Do you miss him?” Baekhyun asked, his voice low and breathy and almost impossible to hear even in his too-quiet bathroom.

“Yes.” The answer was simple and came without hesitation. “Do you?” It felt like something had changed between us lately, I could see it in the way he flinched whenever I looked him in the eye for too long.

“I didn’t have the same connection to him that you did,” Baekhyun replied slowly, weighing his words, and I quickly finished my business and left the room in silence.

I was in his bed by the time he left the bathroom, curled in blankets and shutting my eyes to the world, and when I felt the bed dip behind me, I didn’t move.

“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun said quietly, “I’m sorry.”

I stayed still, trying to keep my breathing even. My heart was pounding and I wasn’t sure if it was from his proximity or the meaning behind his words.

“He meant a lot to you, I know that. And I don’t think that keeping you alone here helped anything but I need you to at least try and get over him. You can’t be like this forever,” Baekhyun placed a hand on my hip and moved closer to me, and I felt the way he shook as he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me to his chest.

“He means a lot to me,” I corrected, finally finding my voice.

“He’s gone,” He was pleading with me, I could hear that much.

“Not to me.”

“You’re going to have to get over him eventually.”

I turned, grabbing Baekhyun by the shoulders and throwing a leg over him. I was straddling him now, keeping him pinned to the bed with the weight of my body. I took one look at him and had to laugh; I couldn’t count the number of times I’d found myself in this position with Kris.

“I don’t want to get over him,” I hissed angrily, squeezing his shoulders until he squinted in pain. “I can’t get over him. I see him everywhere, even when I close my eyes.”

Baekhyun’s chest rose and fell quickly and his eyes were wide with what might have very well been fear.

I finally rolled off of him and curled up on my side of the bed. He didn’t touch me again for the entire night.

***

I awoke to find Baekhyun sitting on the edge of his bed. "Good morning," He said sleepily, rubbing his eyes. "I don't have work today," He said with a twinge of regret in his voice. 

"So you'll be here all day?" I clarified, wondering if that was good for either of us right  now. 

"Yeah." Unfortunately. I could practically hear it.

"What do you want to do?"

"We can watch a movie," He suggested halfheartedly. 

I nodded, unable to think of a reason to decline. We both took a seat on the couch in the living room and watched the movie quietly. It was some romance, I was barely paying attention to the plot, however. My best friend's arm was around my shoulder, keeping me pressed against his side, but neither of us were able to relax into the position. I could feel the tension coming off him in waves and even his breaths were guarded. 

He was being so cautious around me, it bothered me greatly. 

"There's no chance..." He muttered suddenly. I didn't look at him, instead shifted so I was tucked further into his body.

"No chance for what?" I asked, glancing up at him.

"Us."

He didn't elaborate but I didn't think he needed to. "I don't think so," I said, almost apologetically. I was sorry for that, but if these past few weeks with Baekhyun had shown me anything, it was that there would never be anything between us besides friendship, and now, tension. 

"I'll try to change your mind," He replied with a shrug, not as dejected as I thought he would be. I merely shrugged in response.

"Do you want a snack?" Baekhyun suddenly stood, walking into the kitchen. I followed him reflexively and leaned against the counter. 

"What do you want?" He asked, digging through his fridge. I shrugged nonchalantly again, glancing around the room out of boredom. 

Within moments, the boy procured some fruit. I scoffed at his healthy choice but reached for a knife to cut some anyways. It was then that I noticed one of the knives in the holder had a weird stain on the blade. Thinking that it hadn't been cleaned properly, I pulled it out to clean it and screamed in shock, dropping the utensil with a clang when I saw blood dripping from it as if the red liquid was oozing from the cold metal itself.

"Chanyeol? What happened?" Baekhyun was behind me in seconds, bending to pick up the knife.

"Blood," Was all I could get out while trying to swallow the thick lump in my throat.

"Blood? Where?" Baekhyun examined the knife closely but another look told me that it was completely spotless.

"I saw... Nevermind." I shook my head, knowing that it was useless. Another one of my hallucinations, I told myself. 

The boy eyed me weirdly but didn't say anything as he continued preparing the snack.

***

Baekhyun had been avoiding me ever since the movie ended and I was beginning to feel a foreboding sense of impending doom; something like what I felt during my last hours with Kris. I could feel reality twisting and turning in my head with every hastened excuse the boy made to leave the room that I was in. Did he think I was insane too? Had I chased him away?

At dinner that night, Baekhyun and I watched each other out of the corners of our eyes. If I thought he looked tired before, now he looked close to death. Every sense of normalcy that was in our relationship was gone now and everything between us seemed like an act to convince ourselves that were still okay.

“Are you scared?”

I was surprised with his question but managed to recover quick enough.

“Yes. Are you?”

There was a short pause, enough for a sharp intake of breath, and he responded. “Yes.”

“Are you scared of me?” I followed up, knowing that I might not like the answer.

“Are you scared of me?” He retorted.

“Should I be?” It was like we were playing a game now.

He never answered and we went on eating our dinner in silence. We both new that the act had to stop soon, the truth would come out eventually. For Baekhyun, it was probably too soon; for me, not soon enough.

***

It came at noon on March 19^th in the form of a blond haired angel that I loved to death.

“Kris,” I groaned, throwing my head back against the pillow as he attacked my neck with kisses and . “God, I missed you.”

He chuckled and planted a loving kiss on my lips. “I missed you too. You have no idea how much.”

We stayed like that for a long time, just pressing our lips to every bit of skin we could find, whispering sweetly to each other, until he finally pulled away, holding himself above me with his arms.

“You know I’m not really here, right?” He whispered gently, as if he were afraid that I would break.

And I did.

“Kris,” I felt tears welling up in my eyes. “Where are you? Why did you have to leave?” I wanted to curl up in his arms and cry out all my pain and frustration but he seemed to only be pulling further away.

“I’m sorry, you know I never wanted to leave you,” He whispered regretfully.

“You’re a figment of my imagination,” I scoffed. “You have to tell me what I want to hear.”

“Not true,” He kissed the tip of my nose. “For example, you’re getting way too pale and skinny. You look like a ghost. Now is that what you wanted to hear?”

I grabbed his face before he could pull back. “Yes. I want to hear anything as long as it comes from you.”

“Someone’s feeling cheesy today,” He sang.

“Someone misses his boyfriend.”

Kris bit his lip and took my hand in his. “Chanyeol, you’ll have to remember eventually. I know you don’t want to, but…”

“Remember what?” I sat up, drawing my knees to my chest.

“That night. Our fight.”

“But I do remember,” I protested.  “You drove us back here and we went to sleep, in the morning you just left.”

“Drove? With my car that was at Tao’s house?”

I looked up at that, staring at my boyfriend.

“You went back and got it from Tao’s….”

“Did I?”

“What are you saying, Kris? I remember clearly-“

Kris shushed me by grabbing my forearms and kissing me on the forehead. “I’m not saying anything Chanyeol, just that I’m a figment of your imagination. I tell you what you want to hear.”

I pouted and lay back, closing my eyes. I had no idea what he was trying to make me remember, but I knew someone that did. I glanced at the clock. Baekhyun would be home from work in a few hours and although he was still avoiding me, I had a few things I needed to talk to him about.