Ki Bum was still closing his eyes. I noticed the book on his lap, I could only see the back cover of it... Is this the book he was reading other day..?

“Ki Bum..”

“mmm…”

“what are you reading…?” I was curious. I was curious from the first day.

He looked up at me. those eyes were looking straight at me.

“promise me you won’t laugh..”

“I wont..”

“it’s a fairy tale collection…” he said after a seconds of silence.

My heart hurt like it was stabbed by thousands of knifes. The pain was unbearable. Taemin..

“why are you reading it.. it’s not like you are two year old.” I heard myself ask in a lost voice. 

He just smiled. Closing his eyes again, he let go of the words with a sigh.

“it makes me happy, they always have a happy ending…”

My Taemin.

“I need to go” I said to him.

“huh..”

“I’m sorry” I picked up the guitar and start walking away.

“Jonghyun…” he said my name in a soft voice. Pleaese don’t stop me.

“Jonghyun ah, did I say something??? Did I hurt you…??? ”

 why does he sound soo sad???

I didn’t say a word to him. I have nothing to say. I want to go away from this place before I break down. I don’t wanna let him see my weak self.

“I’m sorry..” why is he apologizing..and why does it hurt when he talk that way???

“it’s not you..”  I responded to him as I quickened my steps.. I want to get out from here..

Away from Ki Bum, away from memories.

To a place where I can cry alone..

~*~*~*~*~*~

I didn’t meet up with Ki Bum or anyone that day... I locked myself in my room and let the tears flow. I didn’t know why I was crying, was it because Ki Bum reminds me of Taemin???but they don’t look alike, even though they both had the feminine features.. they are totally different but at the same time I see many similarities between them. When I push Ki Bum away, just one action of his makes me come back to him.. Why is this.. why is it soo complicated???

Can a broken heard could get more broken… why does it hurt soo much, why does it feel like that my life has been out..?

Changing in to sweat pants and a baggy t-shirt I fell on the bed. I really need to sleep. I feel so tiring after crying for hours. Pulling up the blanket and wrapping it around myself. Drifting into the sleep in my own self-made cocoon.

Taeminnie ah,

Prince know he promised his princess that he wouldn’t ever cry.. but prince is not that strong baby..i’m sorry, I cant help crying.. it hurts..

I sobbed into the pillow, wetting the soft material with my tears… closing my eyes shut and hugging the pillow I tried my best to get some sleep it was hard at first but,

Eventually the sleep came.

“Jonghyun ah” I smiled as I hear him calling me. He was waiting outside of my bedroom, I pretended to sleep.

“Jjong’ he whinnied. Aww Tae baby. why are you this cute.. I smiled in my sleep.

“Jonghyun ah, can I come in.” I didn’t answer; I know he would come in anyway. Impish smile colored my face as I heard the door creaked open. Little after, he came and sat on the bed beside me. I felt the mattress sunk down to his weight.

“Jonghyun ahh” his soft fingers pushed back the bangs that cover my face. I nuzzled in to his hand.

“Jonghyun ah, I have to tell you something.” He said slowly, never leaving his hand from my face.

“aren’t you gonna get up.. mmm..” his fingers traced my face, touching my nose, my jaw and slightly my lips. It was really hard for me to contain myself from dragging him to me and kiss. I waited to his words.

“Jjong.. ”was I just imagine things or did I really feel his breath on my face. He was leaning towards me.

I waited for his other words.. tell me you love me Taemin.. I still feel his soft hand on my face.. but why isn’t he talking???

Taemin, arent you gonna tell me you love me today?????

He still didn’t say a word.. should I wake up now??? but he still didn’t give me my morning kiss.. I pouted.. kiss me now..

But all I heard was a sigh. Why is he sighing??? Taemin, are you waiting for me to kiss you…???

I slightly open my eyes. my sight was blur, it really hurt to open my eyes first. What happening to me??? I rubbed my eyes roughly trying to get rid of the sleepiness and my eyes were fluffy fro