I had never seen anything so lively and animated at this late of an hour. The occupied sounds of the bustling city came into my ear. The abounding explosion of streaking lights and quickly moving feet of engrossed people on the overcrowded maze of a street amazed me. It was surreal; chaotic yet calming at the same time.

So this is where he came from.

The fact that I was finally in the huge city of Seoul brought a smile to my face, and a pang of morbid remembrance to my heart. I would do anything to go back in time and bring back all the memories of the times Jongin and I spent together in my small hometown. Despite the bitter feeling that was left lingering in my heart ever since the last second I saw him, I plastered a smile on my face and nodded, smiling to myself and giving myself fake encouragement to continue on.

"Where to, ma'am?" the taxi driver asked me, looking into the rearview mirror. I shifted my intrigued eyes from the undeniably clean car window and met the drivers' eyes.

"Seoul Academy, please."

Seoul Academy. My destination.

Ten years ago, I wouldn't have even dared to imagine that I would actually make it to the prestigious Seoul Academy. I thought I would be stuck in my small little town on the very outskirts of Busan making a living off of working on the farms and fishing docks and eventually get married off to someone that did the same exact thing and lived conveniently, right across the street. Everyone I had ever known in my life lived within a one mile radius- other than Jongin. My goal in life was to have no goals. I'd just do what the rest of the people in my confined world did and question nothing.

But a few years ago, one crazy boy with a hot head and cold heart named Kim Jongin came around and changed my thoughts. He changed me. 

Wait no, he saved me. 

He saved me in every possible way a human could be saved. He offered me the universe- but he didn't understand that all I wanted was him.

"We're here, ma'am," the driver nodded, interrupting my thoughts. I saw his questioning look through the rearview mirror, noticing my random, dumb smile on my face at the thought of Jongin. 

I shifted my vision to outside the window and blinked a couple of times at the exquisite engraved lettering of the school "Seoul Academy" to confirm that indeed, I was here. I thanked the taxi driver and payed him the last of my transportation money as he unloaded my suitcase and backpack from the trunk and sent me on my way. My toes squirmed in uneasiness in my old, forest green worn out Chuck Taylors as I took a cautious step to the school.

I checked the huge clock tower overlooking the school that read 10:07 pm. There weren't many students walking around late at this hour but the ones that were still out and about were walking briskly and had their noses deep inside their books, holding Starbucks and Apple laptops.

I felt the oh-so familiar bittersweet feeling of nostalgia as the cool midnight wind swept through my hair. I remembered everything about him from his chic smile to his nervous smirk. To his small habits and the way he'd hold his chopsticks.

He was the reason I was able to make it to Seoul Academy and even dream about living a life with somewhat of a purpose.

I smiled thinking of him. Thinking of meeting him again. Jongin was my best friend and my first love and in simple words: my everything. I sighed and shifted my shoulder, jumping a little bit to get my backpack strap to stay on my back. I grabbed the handle of the suitcase and rolled it behind me, walking to the main office.

When I opened the door, I was met by the smell of freshly- vacuumed carpet and cool air conditioning. One of the ladies sitting at the front desk looked up at me and smiled. I smiled back as I approached her, gripping my college forms in my hand.

"Hello, how may I help you?" the lady asked in a crisp Seoul accent.

"Uh, hey," I responded in my dialect. My eyes opened widely as I realized what I had just said. I wasn't in Busan anymore. This was Seoul and Seoul people definitely didn't say "hey," to each other at a first meeting. Especially elders. "- I'm sorry. I mean, hello." I shot her another smile- this time a little crooked to cover up for my word screw up.

"From Busan?" the lady asked. I sighed a little in relief that she understood and nodded.

"Yes, I a-"

"This is Seoul," she emphasized, that smile unchanging, "Speak properly please."

I was taken aback but nodded shamefully and mumbled a quick apology, handing her the papers and signing my name when and where she asked me to. The smile that she gave me before I left didn't seem as friendly as the one before. As the office door shut, I huffed, muttering a string of curses to the one desk lady who I thought was so approachable five minutes ago.

"You know," Jongin said, "People in Seoul are just... different."

I looked over at him, "Whaddya mean?"

"You can't just go around saying hi to everyone. They'll probably look at you weird. And you don't know everyone in the city. There's just too many people."

"No way," I gaped, staring at him with unbelieving eyes, "So what's the population?"

"I dunno specifically but over ten million easily."

"Oh shut up, there can't be that many people in one town," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Believe me or not. I don't care... but I'm serious," he replied, nodding in-factually. We laid there on the grass, basking in the oak tree's shade as I looked over at him one last time, wondering to myself. Was he serious?

I walked out of the school and headed to my new apartment home conveniently located across from the academy. I fumbled for the keys in front of the door and took a deep breath before I walked in, whispering to myself, "I can't believe I'm in Seoul." I slipped my shoes off and the light to be greeted by a small, yet clean and cozy living room and kitchen with a hallway that led to a bathroom and two rooms along with a typical Korean balcony. I dropped my bags and looked around each room, smiling and nodding in content at the quality of the place.

All of my furniture was already moved where I wanted so I just unpacked my clothes and changed into pajamas. As I was about to climb into bed, I caught a glimpse of the view I had of Seoul and was amazed. I smiled at the view of the lights and gasped in awe at the height of the skyscrapers and tall office buildings.

The streets seemed so inviting and the view of everything was magnificent. Just the excitement of being in Seoul and starting a new life kept me from closing my eyes and going to sleep. Tomorrow would be the first day of school and I didn't think that it was possible to go around on my own and venture the streets with all the new work and fitting in.

There was no time to look for Jongin.

So maybe I should just go now.

I changed into jeans and pulled on a sweatshirt before I locked my door, trotting down the stairs to meet the cool yet humid Seoul air. 

I grasped the scribbled-on white piece of scratch paper that Miss Kwon had hastily wrote Jongin's last address on. I knew Seoul wasn't small. I didn't even know my way around and there was probably a very, very, very slim chance that I would even find the courage to knock on his front door at 12 in the morning, but maybe- Just maybe I would be able to see him once again. Even if it was for the last time. My heart started to beat and a smile tugged at my lips at the mere thought.

But the trace of a smile faded as I took a deep sigh. I was ashamed that I even needed him with me so badly. Yes, I did survive without him, but barely.

Sometimes, I wondered if Jongin was just a dream- a pigment of my imagination. He was too perfect. He came into my life too fast and left that much quicker. All my memories of him are hazy. But the memories are definitely there. And those memories drive me crazy daily. 

You know that state of mind in your sleep where you're barely dreaming but you're awake at the same time? That would be where I remember Jongin.

When I first met him, I didn't know how much of an impact he would make on my life. When I first looked through his eyes, I didn't know how much I would yearn to look in those eyes in the future. And when I first heard him talk, I didn't know how precious that voice would become to me. I didn't know that that melodious voice would ever call my name and whisper sweet nothings in my ear as our hands intertwined and our hearts leaped at the thought of being together forever.

But when you meet someone for the first time, it's always like that. You never know how much that one person will mean to you in the future or even how much they'll change you. How much of an impact they will make on your life.

Besides, in the beginning, everyone starts out merely as strangers.