Harley’s POV

I had to get out of there fast, and for multiple reasons. For one, there were about thirty girls in a five feet radius of me that were throwing eye daggers in my direction once Jay finally let me go. Secondly, not only was I embarrassed, but confused too. He’d practically confessed his love to me in front of who knows how many people. Did I really love him too? I know I’d said that to Mama Lottie, but now…

I fought my way to the front door, taking in huge gulps of air once I finally got outside. It was definitely better for my head to be out here in the open air than crowded inside. I leaned against the wall for a little while before deciding to go back to the hotel instead of finishing the show. I text Kali to let her know I was leaving and set off down the street.

About ten feet away from the club I started to get the feeling someone was following me. I could feel the hair at the back of my neck starting to stand up and adrenaline flooded my system. I discreetly sped up my pace but my pursuer matched my pace. I was about to break into a full out run until a familiar voice filled my ears.

“You know, it’s dangerous around here for a girl to be wandering alone.”

“Only if creepers like you are following her. What are you doing here Channie?”

“The same thing I was doing the other night,” he replied. “I’m keeping an eye on you.”

We fell into step with each other. “How’d you know where I was?”

“Tonight, or before?”

“Both.”

“I knew about the show and I knew Jay wouldn’t leave you so I knew you’d be here. I’ll admit to going in your head and finding you at the club. Tonight was a given.”

“And why didn’t you tell me you were going to be here? You could have hung out with me and Kali earlier.”

“Jay isn’t exactly my biggest fan, remember? I thought it best not to antagonize him if I don’t have to. I have to say that I’m highly upset with him at the moment though.  How could he let you walk out here all alone?”

“I don’t think he knows I’m gone.”

“So he lost you? That’s even worse.”

“Channie, stop it. Jay isn’t the problem here. I just needed to get away.”

“How do you run away from something like that? I saw what just happened. Most girls would be elated. You just seem sad.”

“I’m…confused,” I admitted.

“You don’t feel the same way?”

“I-I do love him. I guess. I don’t know.”

“You should figure it out before I take you from him.”

I laughed. “That’s not going to happen Channie. Jay would have to mess up real bad for me to leave him.”

“There’s still a chance for me.”

“Think what you want,” I told him. We’d reached the hotel and I turned to go inside. “Good night Channie.”

I must look like a crazy woman or something. I have a tendency to do that when I’m thinking really hard. Or maybe I just look like I need some alone time. Either way, when the hotel manager saw my face he didn’t bother me about trying to go out to the pool by myself at midnight. He told me to take all the time I needed and not to worry about anything. I just nodded my head to him. I couldn’t waste words when I was trying to straighten out the ones in my head.

When I’d told Mama Lottie that I’d fallen in love with Jay it had seemed like such a natural response. I hadn’t even thought about the words. Now that I had time to analyze it, I wasn’t so sure anymore. Did I love Jay? How was I supposed to tell? There’s no definition of love. I knew I liked him, but love is a strong word. I love my mother. I love my cousins. I know familial love, but Eros love is something different entirely.

How did I feel about Jay? Some days I wanted to murder him in his sleep. He’s so damn cocky sometimes it’s irritating. He’s always trying to start some kind of argument with me, talking mess about I’m cute when I’m mad. He’s so damn frustrating…

At the same time though, he’s such a nice guy. My life can’t be that interesting to him, but he always makes time to listen to me ramble about the smallest things that have happened to me. Even if we spend a whole day together, I hate having to let him go. I can’t count how many times I’ve stayed up at night just thinking about him and me.

As for the …I’m not going to lie-I do enjoy it. I’m also old enough to know that does not equate to love, no matter how mind-blowing it is.

I’m not quite sure how long I stayed in the pool, going back and forth in my head over what it meant to be in love with Jay. He’d said everything he’d had to say back at the concert. I would have to be pretty damn dense not to know what he meant by singing two love songs to me in front of everyone. But just because he said it, didn’t mean I had to, did it?

“Aish…what is going on in the world?” I thought out loud. I closed my eyes and leaned against the wall of the pool, still trying to get my thoughts in order.

“What’s going on baby girl?”

My eyes snapped open at the voice. “Jay, what are you doing here?”

I looked into Jay’s eyes, stunned that he’d magically turned up in the pool with me. Had I really been thinking about him that hard, or was he just showing up out of nowhere like he usually did?

“You know how I am baby girl. When you disappeared from the place tonight I had to come find you,” he said, coming close and trapping me against the tiles.

I looked away and into the water as the butterflies in my stomach went into overdrive. The sky was studded with stars that seemed to be watching us. We were the only two in the pool. It was something more than intimate and maybe that’s why I couldn’t keep myself from saying what I’d only thought about.

“I love you Jay.”

He didn’t say anything at first and that’s when I felt embarrassed. I could feel the blood rushing to my face and I tried to slide out of his arms.

“I’ve been waiting for you to say that.”

I looked at him and he met me halfway for a kiss. I didn’t know that his lips could feel so good against mine. My heart felt like it was going to burst from fullness when he finally pulled away. Looking him in the eyes and saying those words was like the icing on the cake. It felt so right and it made me wonder why I’d spent all that time agonizing over it.

“Why don’t we go back to the room?” Jay suggested. I just nodded, dazed for some reason I couldn’t explain. I just nodded and got out the water, pulling my towel around me and heading inside. It took him a moment to follow me, but soon enough his footsteps echoed behind me. Neither of us spoke a word as the elevator took us to our room.

I sat down on the edge of the bed. What now? I’d just had a revelation and expressed my feelings, and even though I was dripping wet and in only a bathing suit and towel, was the last thing on my mind. I just wanted to be close to him, if that makes any sense.

“Baby girl, why don’t you dry off and then we’ll talk?” Jay suggested. I nodded, still not able to open my mouth. What the hell was wrong with me? I stole a pair of boxers and a t-shirt from Jay’s bag and went in the bathroom to dry and change. When I emerged Jay was laid out on the bed, completely dry. I stood in the walkway just admiring the way the ink stood out against his pale skin. When he caught me watching he opened his arms and beckoned me to fill them.

“Why are you so quiet? Did I do something wrong?”

“You mean other than making me public enemy number one with all your fans?” I teased.

He chuckled. “I think you can take them.”

“You obviously have never been on the forums. I bet that right now there are at least five girls downstairs trying to sniff us out like bloodhounds.”

“Something tells me that’s not what’s bothering you.”

I should have known I couldn’t joke my way out of this one. “You’re the one with the mind reading powers. Of course you know.”

“I haven’t done that to you all weekend, except when you’ve called to me. You hate when I do that, remember?”

My eyes widened in surprise. I hadn’t actually noticed that we hadn’t argued about that the whole weekend. How had I missed that?

“Very well then. I guess I’m just afraid.”

“Harley Danielle….afraid? Hell has frozen over.”

“I’m being serious. I’ve never been in love before. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do now.”

“Who said anything had to change?” Jay asked.

I didn’t respond.

“I have something to tell you,” Jay said.

“What is it?”

“To be completely honest, I’ve been in love before. That’s how I’m so sure about how I feel about you.”

“How long ago was this?”

“Around the same time I stopped keeping track of how old I was,” he answered. “A very long time ago.”

“I guess I can handle that. Can I ask what happened to her?”

“She…disappeared. I still don’t know where she went or if she’s even okay.”

“What was she like?”

“Baby girl, don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to.”

“You wanted to bring her up so tell me.”

He sighed. I just looked at him with an eyebrow raised and lips pursed, signifying that I wasn’t going to let go of the issue. He sighed again and ran a hand down his face.

“Her name was Sunny. She was…amazing. I met her when I just got turned. She was human, like you, but she’d always been tied to the supernatural. Her mom was like a fairy or something. She never talked about her dad…it seemed to make her sad.

“We never got into arguments. She used to wait for me whenever I got out of training. Even though it was two or three in the morning she’d be wherever I wanted her to. She used to make me little cards or bake cupcakes….She was a sweet girl. And one day after training she just never showed up to meet me. She didn’t come that day, or the next, or the next. I went to every one of our spots for the next week and never saw her.

“I’d admitted to my sire that I’d met a girl and he’d given me a strange look. I think he disapproved but he didn’t say anything. I accused him of doing something to her, but he denied it. I didn’t believe him then and I’d never believe anything he said now.”

“She sounds like the complete opposite of me,” I pointed out.

“She was. Is that a problem?”

“You tryna start something?” I asked playfully. “Why did you tell me this?”

“I thought you should know. I’ve been trying to act better towards you and that includes telling you the truth about everything. And trusting you by not going in your head and all that other stuff that causes us to fight all the time.”

“Okay seriously, who are you and what have you done with Jay?”

“I’m for real baby girl. I wanna do better by you.”

“Okay Jay. If that’s what you really want.”

He kissed my forehead as I snuggled in closer to him. “Good night baby girl.”

“Good night Jay.”

♫Her whisper is the Lucifer…♫

I picked my head up drowsily and fumbled for my phone with my eyes closed. Damn I hated Mondays, and more so I hated getting up on Mondays. I turned the alarm off and lay in the bed for a moment longer. Five minutes of internal debate later I was up and getting ready for the day. Twenty minutes later I was on the shuttle and thirty minutes later I was meeting up with Channie. I don’t know what exactly we were supposed to be working on since we’d just turned something in but it was such a habit to meet him that I didn’t think twice about it.

“How was the Big Easy?” he asked.

“You were there, you should know.”

“Yeah, and the last time I saw you it wasn’t exactly the happiest occasion. Did you get everything worked out?”

“I told Jay I loved him.”

“That’s good, isn’t it?”

“He responded by telling me about the first girl he ever cared about,” I answered.

“And…?”

“And now I don’t know what to do. Listening to him talk about her-there really isn’t hope for me. I could tell by the way his eyes shone when he talked about her. He still loves her.”

“That can’t be true. I mean, he went through all that trouble at the concert…”

“Yeah, but after he told me about her if just seemed like he’d only done it for the show.”

“Did you tell him that you didn’t want to know about her?”

I shook my head. “I kind of asked for it. He just said he had something to tell me and once he started talking there was no way I could stop him. I was so uncomfortable but…he did tell me not to ask about things I didn’t want to know.”

“Please don’t cry,” Channie said. I reached up and touched my face. I hadn’t even noticed I was crying.

“He’s so happy right now. I confessed and I know it meant a lot to him. Then he was talking all this stuff about treating me better and now I’m suffering.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I know. But if I didn’t then he would and I don’t want that.”

Channie sat back. “He has no idea how great you are.”

“I know, but I am amazing. Not everyone can handle it.”

“I bet I could,” he said with a grin.

“I don’t doubt it,” I replied, winking at him.

“By the way, here’s your daily caffeine.” Chansung reached in his bag and brought out a Coke. I looked at it in longing but didn’t take it. Mama Lottie’s voice was in my head.

“I’m kicking the habit,” I announced.

“You must be sick. Harley not drinking Coke? Did someone put some roots on you in New Orleans?”

I had to laugh. “Not quite, but I did get told off about the stuff by a Voodoo priestess so I’m trying to stay away from it.”

“Okay then,” he said, making the drink disappear. “Let’s not tempt fate then.”

“What time does your class start?”

“Thirty minutes.”

“I’ll walk you,” I said. We grabbed our stuff and started walking across campus. The weekend had definitely been eventful, so it was nice to be doing something mundane like going to class. Along the way I started to notice the glares I was getting from some of the girls. I saw Aliya and spoke to her but she didn’t say anything back.

“Aliya! What’s going on?” I asked her.

“You and Jay, that’s what’s going on. It’s all over the internet that Jay sung to you on stage the past weekend.”

“So?”

“Everyone pretty much hates you right now.”

“But you already knew. Why are acting like this towards me?”

“I don’t want to get killed for association.” With that she walked away, leaving both Chansung and I staring after her.

“What did I do to deserve this?” I whined. “I’m going to effing kill Jay.”