It has rained on and off everyday since Paije and I went to the club with Teddy and BIGBANG. Usually I don’t mind these days, except for the fact that I have to deal with T.O.P’s unfriendly attitude on multiple occasions. Through no special devise of my own I have filled in for multiple hotel positions and seen him at least once a day dealing with his poor attitude. It started last Monday when I filled in again as a maid and was sent with Carla to clean BIGBANG’s suite once again. When my eyes met his piercing stare I smiled sarcastically returning to the job before high-tailing it out of the room.  It was worse the next day when I had to serve him in the hotel’s restaurant. He even requested a new server and after there were no others available he left the restaurant angry. Now it was Saturday and I was working as a valet when he came through the front entrance. He looked surprised and angry to see my face giving him my fakest smile. He stepped to the side and motioned for me to follow and like a little bunny I hopped over to him.

“Good morning sir, is there anything I can do for you today?” I said in my most helpful tone.

He glared even harder. “Yes! You can disappear! Why are you everywhere?! I’m tired of seeing you!”

“Well sir, you’ve made some lovely suggestions but how can I accommodate your current situation” I smiled my ‘Hilton Staff’ smile.

                I clearly had confused him and it was taking all of my strength to hide behind my professionalism; it was the only wall I had left. The only one he couldn’t break through.

“As soon as your shift is done, meet me in the suite.”

                He stormed back into the hotel and out of sight. I groaned and stomped my foot. I didn’t want to have this talk! Did he think this was easy for me as well? Seeing him everywhere? Being constantly reminded of my undying and unhealthy attachment to him? Feeling the guilt of not choosing him and his cold attitude towards me being that constant reminder? Like I felt horrible! And I totally see why he had every right to be upset. This is how I could smile…I earned it. What did I expect him to do? Welcoming me with open arms, and forgive me for choosing someone else. You can’t just expect someone to get over something like that so whatever he’s willing to dish out…hopefully I’m strong enough to take it.

[Few Hours Later]

                I’m not strong enough to take it.

“What will it take for you to go away?” T.O.P said coldly. “I wish you could just disappear before my eyes, because I can’t stand the sight of you. When I look in your direction I’m staring past you, so I don’t have to see you.”

                I take in a deep breath trying to steady myself.

“The sight of you pains me…you make me feel horrible inside. You are not the same warm person I knew before but you have become this heartless creature who torments whoever she comes in contact with.”

                My eyes are filling up and I feel my lip tremble.

“The fact that you are following me around makes you seem weak and desperate. Every time I look at you it hurts.”

“I’M SORRY!” I explode. “I’M NOT DOING IT ON PURPOSE!”

“YOU'RE NOT SORRY!” He bellows. “You chose someone else! I’m not a toy you can just toss aside when you think you’ve found something better!”

                I legit feel numb; like my body can just crumble up like a piece of paper.

“I never, want to see you again” he says firmly.

                I give him a watery smile before I oblige leaving him in the suite. As soon as the door shuts I’m running to the stairs, down the many steps it takes to get to the lobby. My legs feel shaky and I rush to my car before I begin to really cry. I sit there in the driver’s seat practically causing a flood inside my car before I gain enough strength to drive home. I make it back to my house and change into different clothes before curling up in my bed trying to try and talk myself through this. No words come out and more sobbing starts as I fail to suffocate my screams into whimpers. Eventually I fall asleep.

~~~~

“Paije?” My boss Diane calls to me as I’m artistically staring at a piece for my exhibit. “You’ve got a phone call on line three?”

“Okay, be right there” I answer back. “What do you think of it?” I ask an intern. “Does this make you feel jovial and light hearted?”

                We’re staring at random pieces of wire that to me resemble a complicated picture frame before the intern shakes his head ‘no’.

“I agree…remove it please?”

                I walk to the main office and pick up the phone to hear Devon’s mom sounding worried.

“Wait slow down?” I say calmly. “What happened?”

“Devon came home from work a few hours ago, and she won’t stop crying.”

“What happened?”

“She won’t talk about it! She just keeps sobbing” he mother explained.

“Did something happen to T.O.P?” I asked reasonably; if he died this was more than a rational explanation for her constant tears.

“No! But when I mention his name she cries harder!!!” Mrs. Ashford wailed.

“I’ll take care of it” I said sounding like a superhero.

                And in a way I was. This was T.O.P’s fault. No way around that one, and unlike Devon I was immune to his charms. I could see him for the insensitive jerk he really was; and now he had messed with the wrong girl. No guy makes my best friend cry and get’s away with it. It took everything I had not to drop what I was doing so I could go chew him out. Thank God we were almost finish; I could make it there in about fifteen minutes.   

~~~~

                I hear yelling going on outside the room which makes me come out of my part of the suite to see what’s going on. I hear Sim Sunbae’s voice practically pleading with a screeching girl who is now barging her way into the suite. I stand there frozen looking into her angered stare. Sim Sunbae is right behind her.

“Hello Paije” I say sarcastic.

“What did you do?” She snarls.

“Me?” I chuckle. “What makes you think that-”

“It’s always your fault! So I’ll ask you again, what did you do?” She said a little forcefully.

“I didn’t do anything” I answer her flatly.

“I promised you that I would ‘Take Care’ of you if you messed up! NOW YOU TELL ME RIGHT NOW WHAT YOU SAID TO HER THAT’S GOT HER SO UPSET!!!!” A loud voice came from the short girl.

“Look if you’re here to yell at me, I’ll have you escorted from the building.”

“TUBBY I’M SO PISSED RIGHT NOW I THINK I COULD TAKE ON SIM SUNBAE!” Paije shouted. “NOW WHAT HAPPENED.”

                I gave her a brief overview my conversation with Devon. Her tiny frame glared at me before she lunged at me like a lioness. Sim Sunbae caught her in the air as she screamed in rage.

“WHAT IN HELL WOULD MAKE YOU SAY THAT TO HER?!” She said. “SHE’S IN LOVE WITH YOU…YOU JACKASS!!!” She lurched her body forward but Sim Sunbae held a firm grip.

“IN LOVE WITH ME?!” I shouted back getting angry. “SHE’S FORGOTTEN ALL ABOUT ME!”

“WHAT?!!!!!!” Paije screeched even higher. I swear she was fighting so hard to get at me; her breathing was heavy and she was struggling so hard to break free of Sunbae. Sunbae was carrying her over his shoulder like a sack but she bent over to the sofa trying to get a pillow to throw at me. “YOU ARE SUCH A !!!”

“Sim Sunbae” I said authoritative and he began carrying her out.

“HOW YOU COULD JUST STOMP ON HER HEART AFTER ALL OF THOSE LETTERS?! FORGOT YOU I WISH!!!!!!”

“Wait!” I said stopping Sim Sunbae. “You think she’s been writing me?”

“Do I think?” She hissed. “She’s been writing you everyday at least twice a day since we got back from Seoul two years ago!!!”  

“That’s really funny” I laughed harsh. “Because I never received a single one!”

“Then the South Korean Postal Service because I’ve seen her write them!” She spat in my direction. “God knows I wish she could get over you! She’d be much better off without you…but no! She has to be in love with the biggest asswipe on the planet!”

                Just then Daesung walked in singing Gara Gara Go until he saw the serious faces belonging to Paije, myself and Sunbae.

“You can put me down Sunbae” Paije said quieter and he did setting her down gently.

                She left the room in the same hurried fashion she barged in, barely acknowledging Daesung.

“Where is she going?” Daesung asked.

“Give you one guess” Sunbae answered.

~~~~

                I was still fuming when I got to Devon’s house. Devon’s mom let me in immediately without me having to knock. I rushed up the steps and entered Devon’s room seeing an open box with letters flooding every inch of her bed. Devon was in the bathroom and from the rushing water I could tell that she was taking a shower trying to rinse away the day. I looked over at the bed and the box seeing the flowing river of letters addressed to T.O.P. Confusion hit my head like a hammer to a nail. I was starting to get even more pissed, at Devon this time! Why didn’t she send them?! Well, he was going to get them one way or another! Even if she had forgotten him, he didn’t have to chew her out like that.

“This should explain everything” I said gathering the sea of letters somehow stuffing them back in the wooden treasure box.

                I took the letters telling her mom that I’d be back after Devon finished her shower. I was driving like a mad woman back to the hotel. Sim Sunbae was wary of me when I came back with the box before he carried it in for me.

“Who sent this?” I heard Taeyang ask.

“The South Korean Postal Service” I said following Sim Sunbae in.

“Don’t open it!” T.O.P shouted. “She’s crazy enough to leave a bomb!”

I rolled my eyes. “They’re Devon’s letters…she didn’t forget you smart ! And after you read these, you ought to feel so guilty for what you said to her.”

“Wait a sec? What happened?” Teddy asked.

“He ed her out!” I shouted accusingly.

“You hit her?” Seungri said getting up.

“Of course not!” T.O.P said quickly. “She wrote so much…”

“Why did she never send them?” Daesung said as the rest of BIGBANG picked up a handful of letters to read.

I raked my hands through my hair completely exhausted and frustrated. “I don’t know, but I can pretty much guarantee that she’s never going to see you again after today.”

The entire group looked to T.O.P as he quietly read on of the letters.

“What did you say to her?” Teddy said hitting T.O.P.

                That was the last thing I heard when I left the room on my way back to my house to get away from all of this drama.

~~~~

so...yeah? do we still think T.O.P's a jerk? well Devon sure does so T.O.P has got some serious begging to do in these upcoming chapters lol hopefully this explained alot...still writting!!!!

much love, pce!