“Hi Umma… Hi Appa,” I whispered as I kneeled down in front of the tombstones with my parents’ names ingravaded and laid flowers, “long time no see guys…”

I hadn’t visited their graveyard since before Julliard. Not even after I returned – this was the first time. It gave me a weird feeling, being here, so close to them, yet so far away.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been here in so many years. I can see that uncle and aunt has taken care of the place well, I’ll remember to thank them…” I bit my lip, “I miss you two… I have no idea about what to do with myself right now… I came back from Japan late last night and cried myself to sleep and I don’t even know why. Do I doubt my feelings for Donghae? You guys… you should have been here and helped me. Meet Donghae and tell me what kind of type he is… if he is the right guy. If he would protect me…” I sank, “I’m so confused… Sam says that he is the best thing that could happen to me but then… what Jessica said, it… it sounded so right!” I felt tears on my cheeks again, “I… what if he just… he just p-pity me?”

“I don’t think he do…” a quiet voice said. I looked up and saw my aunt – Donghee’s mum, my mum’s sister  - sit down on her knees beside me and put down some flowers beside mine, then she looked at me.

“No matter what it is Jessica-ssi has told you, I don’t think Donghae-ssi would date you out of pity. He just isn’t that type of guy,” she smiled gently and dried my cheeks with her thumb lightly. I sank.

“I- I just…” she shook her head.

“No. Heemin ah, I’ve known Donghae for really many years already and talked to him on the phone more than a few times. He really worries about people yes, but he would never date a girl out of a thing like pity. He will only do it out of love… And he did date Jessica before Super Junior were created so if she has said anything to you, that might be the explanation…” I widened my eyes and looked back at her.

“D-Donghae dated… he dated Jessica?” I asked. My aunt nodded.

“I don’t know much about the relationship beside what Donghee told me. Apparently Donghae broke up when he realized that he didn’t have feelings for her anymore and they’ve been friends since. But according to Donghee, Jessica isn’t completely over it yet, even though she have tried to date some other guys… Heemin, how did you and Donghae get in a relationship?” I sank and shortly told her about it. How we first met at the rooftop and then how things worked out in the flower-garden and also ended up telling her about yesterday’s conversation with Jessica. She nodded thoughtfully, then looked at my mum’s thombstone.

“Do you know what your mum would have told you in this situation?” She asked. I hesitated, then shook my head.

“A-ani… I never… I never dated back when they were alive,” I whispered. My aunt nodded.

“Right… your mum would say…” she looked at me and then, without a warning imitated she mum’s voice perfectly, “Heemin ah… Don’t ever listen to such a jealous ex-girlfriend. Do you really doubt your feelings to a guy who never even hesitates to say in front of others that he loves you? I thought I taught you better than that!” I couldn’t help but smile a bit by the imitation and nod.

“Y-you… she was right,” I whispered, “she was, right? Why am I doubting my feelings for such an… such an amazing guy?” I think the last was said to myself. Our relationship was perfect in the only ways it could be, even though we didn’t see each other much. He always wrote me a goodnight message and a goodmorning message. He called me through the day to talk about what I was doing and what he was doing and he always apologized for being so busy and promised to make it up to me as soon as the promotions ended.

“I don’t know Heemin…” she chuckled a bit, “if I could get such a handsome and sweet boyfriend… just kidding, your uncle is that!” she winked and I laughed and hugged her.

“Thank you auntiiiie… for everything…” she clapped my back.

“You’re welcome sweetie… now, I invite you to stay at our house until the members come back from Japan!” she said, “and I don’t take a no for a no!”

I had missed this so much. Sitting in the living room in the night, only with my aunt – my uncle took my cousin(Donghee’s younger sister) out to give us some time – all cuddled up in blankets, each with a cup of hot chocolate with marshmellows in our hands, the TV a music programme and talking about everything we hadn’t been able to talk about the last couple of years. I told her everything which was worth telling. Everything. About Mike and Lexi, about the twins, about the lessons at school and the competitons I was in and won. About the things I experienced in New York, about my favorite cafés and parks.

She on the other side told about how things changed at home. How they slowly felt Donghee’s popularity rise as he bought them a new house and helped so they never needed anything again, how my younger cousin was growing up and getting good grades, how my uncle was getting a new job and how she started painting again.

“I’m going to my first competition soon! In Mokpo!” She smiled happily, “Donghae’s mother has offered me to stay at their place while I’m there so I don’t need to find a hotel!” I nodded smiling.

“That sounds really nice! I’m crossing my fingers for you!” I showed her two crossed fingers as a symbol. She smiled.

“Thank you Heemin…” she clapped my cheek before taking a sip of her hot chocolate, “now… what are you going to say to everyone when they gets back home? And to Donghae especially?” I sank and put my cup on the table in front of the couch.

“I… That… that I just… I don’t know…” I sighed, “I feel so bad for turning off my phone and not giving anymore hints than going back to Korea… and I didn’t mention Donghae in any way… I’m such a bad girlfriend…” She shook her head.

“No you aren’t. And when you meet Donghae you’re going to tell him word by word what happened,” she suddenly turned strict, “he has to take a talk to Jessica about this. It’s not okay for her to walk around and say such things to you!”

“B-but…-”

“No Heemin! Or else I will go to the dorms and do it for you!”

I used the few days with my missed family well. I even got to go to school with my cousin some hours the next day, and out eating dinner in the night.

“Donghee just texted. They’re back in Seoul,” my aunt said in the car on our way home that night and turned against me, “let’s get home, get your stuff and then go to the dorms. I’ll drive you…” I nodded slowly and turned my head out the window. Why was I so nervous? Because I ran way and worried all of them and didn’t answer even one message or call from any of them?

“Umma! Heemin!” Donghee was the first one to notice us after we’d entered the dorm, he got up and ran against us. I hoped he would hug his mother first but he turned to me and hit my head lightly before he hugged me tight.

“You are the biggest idiot for leaving like that, Shin Heemin!” he mumbled, “I’m cutting down your monthly allowance!”

“No you’re not!” Before I could say anything his mum butted in, “Heemin has her reasons. Now, give your old mother a hug before you kill your cousin!” Donghee chuckled and nodded, let go of me and hugged his mum. Just as I thought I could breathe, a new set of arms closed around me from behind and hugged me gently but tight.

“Heemin ah…” Donghae rested his head on my shoulder, “you worried me sick… how could you?” I slowly turned around in his grab and saw my aunt nod at me as she saw it. I took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry…” I whispered and looked in his eyes, “I’m… I’m so sorry Donghae…”

“Donghae, can you help Heemin up with her bag?” My aunt asked, “I’m sure she would apptrciate that, right Heemin?” I sank and nodded.

“Y-yes. Of course,” Donghae said and bowed his head before he took my bag of my shoulder and took my hand. Sam’s gaze caught mine on the way out and she looked like she would yell at me as soon as we got to be alone. When we entered the elevator I pushed the button to the rooftop instead of my floor and Donghae looked weird at me.

“Heemin, why-?” I smiled a bit and squeezed his hand.

“I… I need to talk to you about something,” I whispered, “don’t… don’t think wrong of it, o-okay?” He nodded slowly as I pulled him out on the roof to sit where I sat the day we… we find out we liked eachother? I dunno. But that place.

“What is it?” he asked. I could hear he was a bit nervous. I sighed. I had practiced how to say this but now that I was with him, it was like I couldn’t get the words out like I wanted them to.

“I- uhm… I went home… I went home because that… Jessica… and-”

“Heemin, a bit… a bit more clear?” Donghae interrupted whispering. I took a deep breath, nodded and started over. This time a bit better and I told him about what had happened there, in Japan between Jessica and me. The things she said and how I felt after it. When I finished he sat a while and looked really paff.

“Jessica said that?” he then said. I nodded.

“Y-yeah… she said… that the most obvious reason for dating me… that it… that it’s out of pity…” I whispered. He sighed and hugged me tight as tears were rolling down my cheeks again.

“Heemin I promise you… it’s not out of pity. It’s… it’s way more than that… I’m not dating you because I love you… I’m dating you because… because I feel like you’re the only one I can ever love…” he pulled a bit away and looked into my eyes, “I’m so in love with you that it almost hurts. I wanna be with you all the time, make you happy and see your smile. I wanna take away that pain you sometime may feel and make sure that no one ever hurt you again… I’ve wanted that since the first time I looked into your eyes and you fast looked down. That’s how much I love you… Of course I feel sorry for you because you lost both of your parents but… but it’s not the reason I love you…” I teared up again. Not because I felt sad or wronged but because of what he said. No one had ever said anything like that – no one. And it sounded so right! I was beyond happy right now – that’s why I teared up. I hugged him tight and hid my head in his neck, he fastened his arms tight around my waist too.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled against his neck, “for… for doubting you… It just… when she said it…” he shook his head and clapped my back gently.

“It’s okay Heemin… I don’t blame you for thinking like that and I promise you… I’ll talk to Jessica about this… I promise you that…” I nodded slowly and looked up. He suddenly smiled.

“Soo… what about that offer in SM I heard about?“ Dammit.

A/N: It was a short fight that wasn't even a fight. Lawl. XD Okay, I was on a roll last night so I've written pretty much already - also on the next chapter ;) Heh~ It'll be up tomorrow I guess :)