Kyuhyun let the hot water wash over him. He could hear the Heechul laughing weakly at whatever he was watching with Donghae on Donghae’s laptop. Donghae had run after Kyuhyun when he’d hurried off when the manager told him to go rest. He’d demanded that the maknae tell him what was wrong. Kyuhyun had looked at him pleadingly before slamming the bathroom door. Heechul had soon entered the room, calling his name but finding Donghae. Kyuhyun massaged his scalp harshly, tears pricking his eyes as he did. He tried not to think about it, the way they looked together, the words that Heechul had said. Kyuhyun knew that Hangeng had probably pointed him out to Heechul, that’s what made even more painful. Heechul had said anything, not even if he was ok or wanted to talk. All he’d done was hold him, not even asking him to eat like he normally would when Kyuhyun refused food. Just clung to him, as if at any second they were going to shatter into pieces. It scared Kyuhyun, that everything, all the promises, the whispered words at night probably meant nothing. That no matter how hard he’d tried to make Heechul whole, make him move on, that it hadn’t worked. ‘Maybe he was right…’ Kyuhyun sobbed quietly, ‘Maybe you were just a toy to him. Something to fill the void inside while he waited for Hangeng to return…’. Kyuhyun felt his legs wobble. He was tired, so so tired; He didn’t want to go through this again. The agony of losing him. He’d already nearly lost Heechul twice. Once to that car accident, again to his own mind. Kyuhyun sat on the shower flower, knees against his chest as he sobbed hard.

          The rushing of the water drowned out the boy’s tears. His body shook violently as he tried to grab on to something, anything. Any last piece of evidence that would prove him wrong. Heechul’s words were screaming in his head. ‘You are just a child Kyuhyun’. ‘You are useless…’. ‘You’re a baby, the maknae’. ‘You know nothing!’. ‘You’re a untrusting bastard’. ‘What Kyuhyunnie doesn’t know won’t hurt him’. ‘Of course I do Hannie..’. Kyuhyun dug his nails into his legs, trying to get rid of the pain in his chest. The words like knifes, constantly hitting him. The water ran cold, but Kyuhyun was already numb, barely noticing his body trembling from the icy water inside of the pain he felt. A soft knock cause him to look at the door. ‘Kyu? Baby? Are you ok?’ Heechul’s voice came through the door, sad and scared. Kyuhyun sniffed, trying to erase evidence of his tears. ‘I’m fine’. There was a slight pause, ‘Are you sure Kyu? Can I come in…? Can we talk…?’. Kyuhyun sighed, standing up weakly. He turned the knob switching off the shower; he wrapped a white fluffy towel around his waist. He unlocked the door, opening it slightly. Heechul was wearing one of Kyuhyun’s hoodies and pyjamas pants, gazing at Kyuhyun softly. Kyuhyun looked down, ‘If it’s about you and Hangeng, can it wait until tomorrow? More crying will just damage my voice for tomorrow’. Heechul went pale, as if he’d been slapped or seen a ghost, he put a hand on the door, pushing it open. Kyuhyun didn’t have the energy to stop him. He turned away, wiping the fog from the mirror. Heechul gulped at the sight of Kyuhyun’s pale skin, scattered with pink and silvery scars. He took a step forward, grabbing a towel, he turned Kyuhyun softly. Heechul ignored the hard look in the younger’s eyes, instead placing a soft kiss on his nose before reaching up to dry his hair.

           Despite the pain he felt inside, Kyuhyun couldn’t help smiling at the kind gesture. He bowed his head slightly, allowing Heechul to run his finger through his hair. He closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around Heechul’s waist, holding him close. Heechul gazed at the younger, taking in his quivering lip and the slight redness to his eyes. He pressed his forehead against Kyuhyun’s. His fingers slipping from Kyuhyun’s still damp hair to his face, tracing all his features softly. ‘It’s you Kyuhyun. Please don’t doubt that. Don’t doubt this, us, because I meant what I said, all those times I promised you forever. I don’t want anyone else, even if I get confused sometimes, even if I get scared and run, I’ll never leave you. I love you too much’ Heechul whispered softly. Kyuhyun stayed silent, just holding the other. Heechul could feel the insecurity and pain radiating off the younger. Heechul smiled softly, brushing his lips against Kyuhyun’s, coaxing the younger into opening his eyes. Kyuhyun gazed at the older, a slight whine leaving his mouth as Heechul’s lips moved to his cheek. Heechul chuckled against the younger’s soft skin, noticing the soft blush on his pale face, ‘Too cutie Kyuhyunnie’. Kyuhyun scowled softly, gazing at the older. Heechul smiled, kissing the younger, holding him close. He poured everything into the kiss. All his love for the younger, his guilt for not telling him, his promise. He felt Kyuhyun smile into the kiss. Heechul chuckled, deepening it, pulling the younger backwards until they toppled onto the bed. Kyuhyun laughed slightly as he landed above the older. ‘Come on, we need some sleep Kyuhyunnie’. ‘But Hyung…I’m ’. ‘All the better Kyu…’

                          Heechul smiled, watching Kyuhyun out of the corner of his eye. The younger was jumping around, waving at fans and acting like an over grown child. Heechul was smirking, dancing randomly, singing his parts. The stage was filled with the member’s laughter and shout as they prepared for the next song before the video break. Leeteuk nodded slightly as we rushed off stage, leaving the Super Junior M members on stage to perform ‘Blue Tomorrow’ and ‘Super Girl’. Heechul saw the sadness in their eyes as they got in to position, the empty space where Hangeng would stand empty and almost a hole in the group. Heechul saw Kyuhyun’s face harden as the fans chanted Hangeng’s name loudly, holding up light boards for him proudly. He saw the glisten of tears I n Kyuhyun’s eyes, he knew it was different to what the others felt. It wasn’t sorrow for their lost member, no, it was anger and frustration. It was the pain of what Hangeng had caused him. Heechul turned away, going to get ready for ‘Shining Star’. He walked passed the rushing cordi-noonas and backstage personnel to his dressing room. Heechul froze slightly before entering; a figure down the hall caught his eyes. The figure was half hidden by a wall, dressed in black. Heechul squinted slightly, trying to make out their face but when he blinked, they were gone. Heechul shook his head, stretching as his stylist hurried him into the dressing room, quickly handing him white jeans and a black poncho like he’d worn a dozen times for this song now. Heechul changed, the room buzzing with the sound from the members on stage. He smiled as he went to stand in the wings, gazing out a Kyuhyun, watching as he back towards him, smiling contently as the video started. Kyuhyun grabbed him quickly, pressing a sweet kiss to his lips. Heechul gave him a playful slap on the as he ran past toe change.

          Heechul took a deep breath as the lights went down, the fans chanting their names excitedly. Heechul gazed out at the sea of sapphire blue. A small smile on his lips, it was hard, going out there with a smile. All the songs they did, he’d been with Hangeng for. They’d play around, hug, kiss, and throw water at each other. Now he stood there, trying to find another member to mess with. Kyuhyun couldn’t help since he was strictly assigned to be with Sungmin and to give the fans a bit of ‘Kyumin’ love for the night. A hand slipped into his, a cold metal band knocking off his own ring. He turned his head to see Kyuhyun smiling at him sadly. Heechul buried his head in Kyuhyun’s chest. Kyuhyun pressed a kiss to the older's head, ‘Be strong baby, we’ll get through this’. Heechul smiled, reaching up to peck the others lips before the members started emerging on stage. Ryeowook started singing; Kyuhyun squeezed his hand, before dashing out to sing his parts. Heechul took a deep breath, walking out onto the stage. He kept his hood up as he clutched the microphone tightly. Lights and cameras were flashing everywhere, making him sick as he sat down on the seat provided for him. He fixed the glasses and his hair as he waited to start singing, his eyes on the ground. He raised the microphone, singing along with the others, trying to keep his voice steady.  He turned his gaze out into the audience. A sign caught his attention and Heechul choked on a sob. A bright light board was in front of him, ‘Hanchul can’t be broken apart’ was written across it. Heechul took of the glasses, tears streaming down his face. Memories hitting him hard. How many times had Hangeng sung this to him as he drifted off to sleep? Or the times when him and Hangeng would act all couple-ly, then the chinaman would whisper an ‘I love you’ in his ear. The tears poured down his face, he tried to sing but only started choking on the sobs. He made no attempt to wipe the tears. Pain coursing through his body. He tried to think of happy things, of Kyuhyun’s smile but Hangeng was everywhere in that moment. He was surrounding him and he couldn’t breathe. He felt as if his chest was being crushed. His mind was attacking him with every happy moment they had together. Erasing Kyuhyun and every other good thing in his life.

           The lights went down and Heechul hurried off stage. Their manager caught him, pulling the boy into a tight hug. ‘Heechul-ah, hush. I know it’s hard, I know son. Take a rest. Go back on for your Super Junior T section, go calm and get ready, ne?’ he said softly, wiping Heechul’s tears. Heechul gazed out at the stage, meeting Kyuhyun’s worried eyes as he sang ‘Puff the Magic Dragon’. Heechul turned away quietly, rushing towards his dressing room. He fumbled to change quickly, entering the hallway once again. Heechul headed to go fix his make-up when a body pressed against his. ‘Kyu-ah…’ Heechul sighed softly, ready to push his boyfriend away softly. ‘I am not the maknae, Rella’ Hangeng’s soft broken Korean reached his ear. Heechul gasped, starting to struggle against the China-man. Hangeng pressed him against the wall firmly, kissing his damp cheeks. ‘Stop it! Hangeng stop! I told you to stay away from me’ Heechul hissed, turning his face away. Hangeng let out a sigh against Heechul’s neck, causing him to shiver. ‘Rella, Rella please. I love you. And I know you still love me too, you wouldn’t be crying if you didn’t Rella’ Hangeng pleaded desperately. Heechul felt his lip quiver, his words striking a chord. Part of him did love the man before him, but he knew he belonged to Kyuhyun, that his heart rested with the younger. Yet Hangeng’s hands on his hips were so soft, so familiar and warm. Almost like home, they’re body shaping together as Heechul’s resolve broke piece by piece. Hangeng’s deep eyes gazing at him hopefully, full of a twisted emotion that could be pinned as love or obsession. Heechul met Hangeng’s eyes and it was over. His mind was flooded with the man he once knew and loved with everything he had. ‘Hannie…’ Heechul whispered softly. That was all Hangeng need. His lips slamming onto Heechul’s, thumbs rubbing circles into his hips as he pressed close. The taste of Hangeng’s lips was familiar, sending soft tingles throughout Heechul’s body. Heechul’s lips moved of their own free will against Hangeng’s.

            Heechul whimpered into it softly, tangling his hands in Hangeng’s short hair. It was gelled and stiff, not like Kyuhyun’s soft curling locks. That’s when it snapped. He was kissing Hangeng. He was kissing the guy who broke his heart and tore his world apart, he was encouraging him. While the man he promised to love and did love was worried about him and trying to perform on stage. Heechul slid his hands to Hangeng’s shoulders, trying to push him off but Hangeng only shoved himself closer. ‘H-Heenim…’ a soft broken voice drifted to his ears. Hangeng bit Heechul’s lip, causing him to gasp as he smirked at him. Heechul felt the shame wash over his body as he turned his gaze towards the voice. Kyuhyun seemed so small in that moment. Heechul had never seen him so…broken. His eyes glistening with tears that were silently sliding down his beautiful pale face. Confusion and hurt in his eyes, Leeteuk holding his wrist tightly. The other members staring at them in shock. Heechul gulped, ‘Kyu…K-Kyuhyunnie... .’. Kyuhyun took a shaky breath, forcing a twisted smile onto his face. He stepped towards the older. Heechul saw Sungmin and Donghae’s eyes wide with anger and worry. Anger at the older, worry for the younger that remained silent. He had stopped with in reaching distance of the older. Heechul could see how his tall fragile frame shook with sobs. His hands shaky as they took Heechul’s, something cold pressed into Heechul’s hand. He gazed at Kyuhyun confusedly, the younger avoiding his gaze. Heechul looked into his palm as the younger took a step back, Kyuhyun’s ring resting in his palm. ‘Kyu-Kyuhyun, what are you…? What is this…? This is yours Hyunnie….’ Heechul stammered, trying to go comfort his lover but being pulled back by Hangeng. ‘I-I…I’m glad you’re h-happy Heenim…you deserve to b-be with the one y-you love…’ Kyuhyun’s smile was fake, his eyes emptying of emotion to hide the immense pain he was suffering right now. Heechul went to step forward again but Hangeng held him tight. ‘We appreciate it Kyuhyun-ah’ he smirked. Heechul was in shock watching the man he loves be destroyed as Sungmin and Donghae rushed forward, holding the younger. ‘You bastard’ Donghae growled, cradling Kyuhyun softly. The younger just gazing brokenly past the all as he was taken away by Donghae, Eunhyuk and Sungmin. Leeteuk refused to meet Heechul’s gaze, his jaw clenched, ‘Kim Heechul, here, now. Hangeng you better yourself out before I call SM’s security and have you banned from performing everywhere’. Hangeng rolled his eyes, blowing a kiss to Heechul as he left. Heechul went to speak but Leeteuk cut him off, ‘Smile. We have a concert to finish. I’ll deal with you later. Kim Heechul, I’m disappointed in you right now’. With that the leader stalked off in search of his maknae, his heart aching for the young boy as Heechul stood alone under the judging gazes of his other members. Ryeowook threw an arm around him comfortingly as the older repressed his sobs. It was all his fault.

             Kyuhyun rushed around the room. After telling his manager what happened, the manager had booked him a flight home for tonight and let him leave before the last two performances. He grabbed his clothes, shoving them into his bag. His gaze landed on his hoodie that Heechul had been wearing last night. He picked it up shakily before flinging it away in anger. He wanted to scream and cry but he couldn’t. He needed to be gone by the time Heechul, Sungmin and Donghae went looking for him. He didn’t want to face them, to face his friends. Kyuhyun grabbed his bag, switching off the light he rushed towards the door. He grabbed one of Heechul’s jumpers, hugging it close. As much as he wanted to run from the older, he didn’t want this to be true. He buried his face in the jumper, taking in hi scent before shoving it in his bag. Kyuhyun hurried down the stairs, his manager smiling sadly as he greeted him at the door. ‘The others are on their way here. I told Minnie you were sleeping in my room so he wouldn’t call you’ His manager hugged him softly. Kyuhyun smiled slightly, bowing, ‘Thank you Hyung, really. This…this means a lot’. His manager smiled, waving him off, ‘Think nothing of it Kyu-ah, and just get better ne?’ Kyuhyun nodded, slipping into the taxi his manager had ordered for him. As it pulled away from the airport Kyuhyun slipped his phone out of his pocket, dialling his father’s number. ‘Yeoboseyo?’ his fathers calming voice sounded on the other end, causing Kyuhyun to break down finally. His voice shaking through his tears, ‘A-Appa…Appa it hurts, it hurts Appa’. Kyuhyun sobbed softly, watching Beijing blur. ‘Kyuhyun. Hush my baby boy. What’s wrong? Are you hurt? Kyu, talk to me Kyu’ his father pleaded when Kyuhyun only sobbed softly. ‘You were right Appa. Heechul…he…he broke my heart. It hurts Appa. I love him so much Appa’ Kyuhyun curled up in the back of the taxi. ‘Oh Kyu, I know you do son. I know it hurts. I’m so sorry son; I didn’t want you to get hurt, even if I was upset. Where are you Kyu?’ his father asked softly, trying to ease his son’s pain. ‘I’m on my way to the airport in Beijing, I’m coming home Appa. I need my Appa and Umma right now; I don’t want him to leave or to be alone’. ‘Hush my son; I’ll pick you up in a few hours. I won’t let him hurt you anymore, I promise. Appa’s here baby, Appa’s here……’

A/N The sentences from Heechul that are in Kyuhyun's head are from chapters 4, 17 and 18! Oh Heenim...oh Hannie...you just had to break the maknae...I wonder what Heechul will do...or what Sungmin will do to him for hurting Kyuhyun...and Hannie...is that the last of him? Oooh!