I had made my way back to the hotel, my head swimming all the while, millions of ideas whirling around in my head and making it hard to think. Sleep was elusive that night. Was I… was I really in the past? It seemed much more logical that I had just lost my mind and all of this was just some dream world I fabricated in my head… but I heard that the really crazy ones never questioned their sanity – and I would have to be pretty far gone to have imagined this.

I wasn’t sure which thought was more comforting, going crazy or winding up in the past. Hypothetically, if I was in the past, which I probably wasn’t I must’ve gone say... 35 years backwards? I was born in 2018, but I had come from the year 2039. In the end, I just gave up on making sense of things. It was giving me a headache.

I groaned and rolled around on the bed, feeling uncomfortable in the room from the lack of familiarity. I missed my bed. I missed my home. I missed my friends. I missed everything. I just wanted to go home already. I finally let the tears I had been holding in spill over and cried for so long that I eventually fell asleep.

I clutched onto my stomach, drinking my fourth glass of water that morning. I was so hungry, but there was nothing to eat in this house… my house. I felt a shiver run down my spine as I thought of this place actually belonging to me for however long I ended up renting it. I was so used to living in a dorm with the other members that being here just felt indescribably lonely.

I really was alone right now.

I wrapped my arms around my body, trying to comfort myself. There wasn’t anyone I could call. I was completely and utterly alone. Before this, I never really understood the meaning of being lonely. Even if I had to go somewhere for a few weeks by myself, there was always someone I could call and talk to. 

The moments which I previously took for granted, I longed for – and the moments of silence I longed for, I no longer liked. I just wanted a friend. I sighed to myself, well sitting here and griping about it obviously wasn’t going to do me much good.

First thing was first. I needed money, and fast. Maybe I wasn’t sure what was going on, but I refused to starve to death in my hotel room. I felt a of genius when I thought about all the money that must’ve been used to book this room. Hotels weren’t cheap and I bet if I just got my moneys back for a few days and nights then I would be at least able to feed myself for a while.

I ran down the stairs as quickly as I could, avoiding the elevator, and reached the ground floor again. I was only eight floors up, so really, it wasn’t that bad. I just had to think of it as extra fitness training. I looked around for the woman I saw yesterday and felt a little bit of relief flood my chest when I saw her. It was nice seeing a familiar face, even if we weren’t close. I walked up to the front desk, tapping on the wood to get her attention. She jumped and looked at me, recognition clouding her features.

“I booked out my room for six months, right?” I asked, feeling hopeful. She nodded in confirmation and I continued, “Could I possibly just take a few weeks off the end of that and get my money back?”

“I’m sorry sir, but we don’t do refunds,” She informed me calmly, like my whole world wasn’t falling apart right in front of my eyes.

“Please,” I begged, “It’s an emergency!”

She just sighed and shook her head, “I’m very sorry but there’s nothing I can do about it, sir.”

I clenched my fist in annoyance and pinched the bridge of my nose, my eyebrows furrowing together. I let a string of curses leave my lips as I contemplated the storm that was my life right now.

“Are you okay?” She asked in concern. She probably thought I had lost it… Well I thought I had lost it too, so I didn’t really blame her.

“Fine,” I said in a clipped manner. “I’m fine.”

If I wasn’t going to get my money from here, I needed to look at other options.

This was the first time in my twenty years that I had gone and looked for a job. In my mind it sounded all well and good, but now that I was actually attempting to apply, I realised it wasn’t going to be as easy as I thought it would be. I’d applied to at least twelve places by now, but they all rejected me. I’d tried places from cafés to hairdressers and even a fast food restaurant, but no one wanted to hire me. They all gave me the same excuse, “Sorry, we’re not hiring,” or “you’re too young to work here.”

No matter how hard I tried to convince them I was actually twenty, none of them believed me. I didn’t have any I.D to back me up, either. I once again cursed my baby face for making me appear so young.  I felt like such a failure, and was rumbling stomach wasn’t helping my sour mood either. I decided to give up for the day and walked back to my apartment, falling asleep on an empty stomach once again.

I woke up feeling a bit dizzy and decided to double my efforts in finding a job. I made my way outside, looking again for anyone that would hire me. My stomach was rumbling audibly and I blushed in embarrassment, hoping that none of the passerby’s heard me. To me, right now, being this hungry was… humiliating.

I had come from having everything to suddenly nothing, and I wasn’t used to it at all. I wanted my nice, comfortable life back, but apparently that wasn’t going to happen. For all I knew, I could be stuck here for years – maybe even my whole life. I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the negative comments that plagued my mind. I would get back to my old life, I just didn’t know how yet.

I tried applying at a toy store then as a cleaner in a restaurant, but both places rejected me. I hung my head and left, looking elsewhere. So this was the bitter feeling of rejection. I had almost just given up and gone back to the apartment to sulk when a dingy sign caught my eye. I turned to inspect the sign, and sure enough they were asking for employees.

I eyed the place skeptically. There was a large steel garage door and a door with chipped paint to the side. The garage door was open and I saw a few cars lined up with soapy water splayed across the floor. It didn’t exactly look hygienic, and it looked like tough manual labour.

I sighed, turning around, intent on finding a new job before I stopped myself in my tracks.

I bit my lip, this was no time to be picky. I wasn’t back home, I was here right now and I had to make do. I didn’t have the luxury of picking and choosing like I would’ve back home – I just had to take what I could. I had to let go of my pride and work wherever I could otherwise I would starve.

Plus, I was in dire need of a new set of clothing. I had been wearing the same ones ever since I got here, and the weather wasn’t forgiving at all. I had to rationalise this. Either I spent another few days looking for a more comfortable job, spending the next few days without food, clean clothes, or any money, or I could just it up and take what I could. I took in a deep breath and turned around, walking back to the door. I knocked on the door gently, hoping the termite infested wood wouldn’t snap under my knock.

The door swung open. “What do you want?”