I'm in the end of my fourth month, SeungHyun gave me hell when he heard of my almost miscarriage. I was bigger, that was true. My mom ignores my calls, the only family I have are my friends, but that's fine. Job hunting is terrible, no one wants a pregnant woman, a single pregnant woman.

I looked out the car window, today we were going to hang out at SeungHyun's place. Daesung was driving, Minzy in the front putting bobby pins in her hair, Bom was reading a magazine, and I was watching the scene's outside my window. Houses, with families in them, a mom, a dad, some kids. All happy, all loving each other. I looked at Daesung and Minzy, he was holding her hand. I looked at Bom, she was beautiful, funny, but no boyfriend. I always wondered why, then again she intimidated guys, with her brains and beauty.  When we got there, snow began to fall again. I stepped out and it felt nice, makes me feel alive. 

Soon we were in the warm lobby, we went into the cozy elevator and went up. I was starting to actually dress nicer, and not so depressing and sloppy. I had on black leggings, black boots with my white long socks showing, a tunic shirt, with a dark purple coat. I felt good, I dyed my hair color to a dark brown.

We knocked on the door.

Once.

Twice.

I was about to knock again, when the door opened. No.t I

Teddy. My eyes widen and he looked at me up and down. Great.

'Hey.' he hugged me, as if he did nothing wrong. As if he didn't leave me in the dust three years ago to go to LA for a rapping career, leaving me with no good bye. But I hugged him back as though nothing was wrong. Only SeungHyun knew the situation, and. Jiyong. We walked in and got the bag of movies out.

Unstoppable

Human Centipede

Battle Royale

'What should we watch first?' I looked at Minzy who was reading the back of Unstoppable.

'I like Battle Royale?' SeungRi said, as he hopped onto the couch with popcorn. SeungHyun came up behind him and smack his head. 'Aish! What was that fo'?'

'Don't jump on my couch like that. Also, yeah Battle Royale sounds good.' He grabbed the movie and popped it in, he sat next me. The movie started and all the talking seized. Teddy was on the recliner, at times I felt his eyes on me. I felt disgusting. Soon after about half an hour someone got beers for everyone, once the movie stopped, I went into the kitchen and made a fruit smoothie. 'Are you alright?'

I looked up and Seung Hyun had jumped on to the counter. I nodded, I was off today. My head was somewhere different. I looked down to focus on cutting the berries. 'Yeah, I'm fine.'

'You sure? You know , I didn't invite him.' he looked at the yogurt label, to avoid my eyes. I stopped and looked up.

'You didn't?'

'He sorta, stopped by and it was rude if I just tell him, leave.' I went back to the smoothie and by the time it was done he was gone. I went to the cabinet to find a glass, of course I couldn't reach. A hand reached out and grabbed it with easy, I turned around and it was Teddy's hand. I sighed, and grabbed it from him and left to the blender.

'What's up with you, I haven't seen you in like three years and you give me the cold shoulder.'

'Why should I be here with open arms, when you turned around and left.' I told him, his face looked like he was genuinely shocked.

'I didn't leave you like nothing, I left you a letter. You stood me up.' I raised my eyebrow.

'What?'

'Yeah, I told SeungHyun to give you a letter the day before, it told you to meet me at the park before my midnight flight.' He got a little red and left the kitchen, I saw him go up to SeungHyun. 'Homie, my . You never gave her the letter.' he whispered it in a growl to him, no one noticed. Then he walked out and slammed the door. SeungHyun looked back at me, and he looked sad. What just happened? Everyone looked at the door, and back at SeungHyun, he sighed and went to his room.  No one asked, everyone knew it was a horrible idea to get into his business, but I never learned.

I opened the door slowly, and saw him laying on his bed, with his hands entwined behind his head. 'Um, hey.' I stepped in, he still hasn't opened his eyes. I sat by him, my back to him. I felt an arm around my waist. 'I'm sorry.' I looked back at him, he was getting up and going to his closet.

'For what?' He went to get a box from the top of the closet and got out an envelop.

'This.' he handed me it and sat down besides me. I opened it, slightly nervous.

Dear Chae Rin,

I was given the opportunity to go to LA to record, my flight is tomorrow at midnight. I want to see you at  the park by your dorm at five, so I can spend at least two hours with you. I really regret this, but if you come I know there is hope this can work out. If you come, we will still be together, in sometime I can get a ticket for you and you  can come out here.

I love you Chae Rin, I really do. It would make me happy, if you came.

I know lately I've been avoiding you, but I needed to think of a plan to make this work. This is it.

I want you to come out to America, and be with me.

For now, until then, stay by SeungHyun's side, I know he'll protect you. Even from you ;D

I trust him, and I know he will not lead you wrong.

I love you.

-Teddy

I started to feel the tears sting my eyes, then it hit me. Why did he never give this to me? 'Why.'

'I'm sorry, Chae Rin..'

'Why?' I was starting lose patients. 'Tell me.'

'I didn't want you to leave. He told me, that he could of gotten your ticket within a couple months.' He looked down. 'I didn't want to lose you.'

'Did you know how many months I was depressed? You were there, you knew everything and you hide it from me.' I started to feel tears trickling down.

'Do you know how many YEARS I had to hide my feelings, Chae Rin.' he stepped closer to me, and pulled me into his arms. His forehead on mine. 'I love you, I REALLY love you. I have for years. I've told you that before, but you always brush it off.' He leaned in and kissed me, deeply. He stopped and looked at me in the eyes. 'Don't brush this off.'

All I could do was cry, not because of the hormones, because I couldn't trust him like before. I laid my head on his shoulders. Teddy actually did love me, enough to want me to go to another country with him. I started to cry a little more. SeungHyun-oppa, why couldn't you have said something before, stupid.

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