"Ok, well, take care Grams," I said before heading down the stairs. I didn't remember aything I, or Grams said in there, all I remember is that boys beautiful body. God! How can there be such a... a ... being! I've never seen anything like him. I guess going to Korea won't be as bad as I first thought it would. If everyone looks like that I don't mind at all. Why am I sweating so much though? Was I like this in front of him too? Aw shoot! I must have looked so easy to him! Maybe even desperate! Bleh! I don't think I can ever face him again. I look horrible when I'm sweaty.

Nevermind that right now, I need to get home and talk to Jihoon Oppa. I hope I don't get kicked out already, it's only been 8 months since I came to be a trainee. I hope he hasn't lost all hope. I sighed a deep sigh and speed walked home.

-_-

"Oppa!!! I'm home!" I shouted as soon as I walked through the front door.

"Shh!" I got scolded by Jaehwa unni, "everyone's sleeping."

What?! I felt like screaming again. Why was everyone sleeping at - I looked at the time and it read 6:30. What?! I was there for three hours? What did I talk about with that woman? I guess I'm good at talking with grown-ups since I could keep her company for such a long time with a smile on her face. Anyway. back to the topic, why was everyone sleeping so early? "Why?" I whispered as quietly as possible.

"What?" she mouthed to me.

Whoops, I guess I was too quiet. "I said 'why?'" I repeated in a fake whisper.

"You know," she started, "just because you have that whispery voice, doesn't mean you're whispering." she had a smug smile on her face as if she had one on me.

"I know," I said in a normal tone. Unni started waving her arms around with an angry expression, but all I could do was smile back at her thinking that I got back my one. Arasso, I mouthed to her. So, why I mouthed again then clasped my hands together and layed my head on them in mid-air. Thankfully she understood what I was trying to say so I didn't freak out on her.

"Right," she whispered, "I don't know, I guess they all got tired at the same time." She stuck out her lower lip and slightly raised her shoulders.

I placed my fingers in a rectangle and mouthed click, neomu yeppeoyo. While pretending to take a picture of her I smile wide. "You're going to make a great idol," I whispered. I wasn't too sure of myself just yet, but let's see where this leads. Maybe I can be a good example to fans someday too. My smile was a bitter-sweet one, I wasn't sure whether to be happy for my unni or be sad for myself. I was basically waiting for a scolding right now. I know that Jihoon Oppa isn't going to praise me about my disrespect towards people that are even a year older than me. I bet there are even people that I have to be polite to even if they're younger than me, just because they were in the business longer. Sunbae. Pfft. I sighed inwardly, without unni noticing and retreated to my bedroom to wait for my scolding in comfort. I got under my covers and stared off into space.

-_-

Before I knew it, everyone was awake and waiting for me in the livingroom. Jihoon Oppa had called me down just now. I didn't want to go yet, so I took my time getting out of bed, fixing my hair, and fixing my covers. Once I was completely ready, and there was nothing else I could use as an excuse, I slowly made my way down the staircase. My slippers were making pit pat noises on the fine wood and my hair was still a complete mess, but I forced myself to have a smile on my face, "Hey guys!" I said as brighly as possible, "Good morning hehe. Did you have a nice nap?" I took the only empty seat next to Jihoon Oppa and waited for my punishment pretending to be oblivious. It made me less anxious somehow. No one answered, they all just stared at me as if I was crazy. Who wouldn't know what's in store for them if Jihoon Oppa is here at this time even though no one had practice. "So," I faced my disappointed boss, "we were going to talk about something... right?" I was afraid that my true emotions would surface soon, so I played it up another notch. I laughed louder and I tried to forget whatever other worries I had to make my head a little lighter. That meant no hot Suhan in my mind right now and how I sweat like a pig in front of him.

"Yeah," Jihoon Oppa didn't seem surprised by my reaction at all. Does he not know me at all? How can he think that I don't know that I'm about to be scolded and can smile without a worry? Why isn't he saying stop acting. Have these people not gotten to know me at all?! "We were going to talk about your improper use of language. I know your Korean probably isn't as good as your unnis' right now, but you have to know that in Korea respect is very important. If someone is your sunbae or elder, you have to speak with -yo's. All of us are older than you. I am your sunbae... and so are all of them actually, they have been training longer than you. Six months isn't a long time to train-"

He was going to continue with the speech he had made on the spot, but as he talked, I got even more riled up, so I found the courage to speak up, "Eight months actually," I said with my fake smile still forcefully plastered onto my face. "I think I understand what you're trying to say to me, and I understand. I will use formal language for everyone, and I'll be careful of how I act from now on, so can I go and clean now? I want to get everything done before twelve o'colck so that I can sleep for at least seven hours." I gave a small giggle at the end to prove that I'm okay. I wasn't, but there was no point in showing it to everyone.

"...sure."

"Kamsahamnida," I said then bowed to leave for the kitchen. I tried to get rid of the lump in my throat by washing dishes, then dusting the whole house, but when that left I got a head-ache. Oh well I thought, better than crying in front of everyone. Everyone was now asleep, and I could do my homework in the livingroom very freely.

It was exactly 11:58 when I got into bed after brushing my teeth and changing into pj's of course. I fell asleep after thinking about why I got so sensitive and was about to cry when it was only my boss leading me in the right direction. Why was I so touchy? Why am I still touchy? I'll think about it in the morning with fresh ideas. Night night mom, dad and... sure why not... siblings too, I thought, and with that I fell asleep.