"Himchan?"

The name rolled off Yongguk's tongue in such a familiar tone of voice that Himchan could feel his jaw tightening in an attempt to constrain the surge of his violent emotions. He inhaled, forcing on an expression that could help conceal his disbelief with Yongguk's presence.

Three years, it had been three years―it had been definitely long enough for Himchan to overlook the things that had erupted between the both of them before, it had been definitely long enough for him to outgrew the once strong attachment he had felt for the other. Apart from that, in those three years that they hadn't seen each other, Himchan had Daehyun.

So how come the moment Himchan met his gaze it's like there were a suddenly a thousand unanswered questions that yearned for explanation?

Daehyun shifted next to Himchan―discreetly intertwining their fingers―sympathetic enough to be aware of and to relieve his boyfriend's momentarily confusion.

Yongguk didn't miss the deed. But if it ever made an impact to him in any way, his expression didn't show. He looked over at his old friend, indifferent. "Daehyun," He said nonchalantly. "Are you the ones looking for a place to crash in?"

Daehyun nodded affably. "Can we take a look inside?"

Yongguk seemed to size him up for a moment. "Yeah. Sure. Come in." He moved to the side, making way for Daehyun who was smiling sheepishly as he pulled Himchan along behind him.

Himchan untimely brushed past Yongguk, almost flinching when his shoulder grazed Yongguk's chest.

(And that's when something began to stir up inside of Himchan. Something he didn't knew he had the capability to possess.

Hate.)

By the peak of the small entrance way was the living room area with modern furniture in varying hues of red, black and white. By the west side was a counter which was a divider for separating the kitchen. There was another narrow hallway which Himchan assumed was where the rooms and the bathroom were located. To his right was a two glass door framed with white wood leading to a small terrace.

Daehyun loved the place. He kept throwing remarks here and there about how easy it'd be to live here―considering how Himchan's university was extremely nearby. But Himchan disliked it, disliked how it felt unwelcoming, disliked who lived here, disliked the thought of living with him―again.

Himchan couldn't blame Daehyun's flurry. He knew that Daehyun would be aware that he was uncomfortable but of course he'd assume that no strong feelings were apparent anymore enough for Himchan and Yongguk to be associated again. Three years was a long time for Daehyun to have that mindset, to take things lackadaisically as if none of the past had ever happened.

Still, it's wrong. Himchan knew that even at least being friends again with a person that had once meant the world to you wasn't completely right. Much more be dorm mates with them.

Yongguk came around from the kitchen as the couple lounged on the living room sofa, discussing things after they finished surveying the whole place. He placed two glasses of orange juice on the table in front of them and collapsed on a bean bag to their side. "How is it?"

Daehyun shrugged and took the offered beverage. "I like it. Big space, huge windows, nice furniture."

Yongguk nodded in acknowledgment. "It was all white when I came here and so I picked up a few furnitures for a tad bit of accent."

"Since when were you interested in interior design?" Daehyun narrowed his eyes on the other.

"Just last week." Yongguk grinned.

"You haven't changed," Himchan pointed out without thoughtm "You still have your clothes cluttered in the bedroom hall."

Yongguk chuckled. "Sorry about that. Guess change isn't always good."

Himchan brought the orange drink to his lips, mentally punching himself for jumping in a good casual conversation.

"Since when have you been here?" Daehyun asked.

"Around two or three weeks? My scholarship contract in Japan expired last month and I kinda wanted to go back here too, so I thought, why not?"

"That's great. Have you started back at a university?"

Yongguk nodded. "Yeah the Seoul University one uptown. You guys know that, right?"

"Oh." Daehyun flashed a look at Himchan. "Himchan studies there."

Himchan shook his head. "Haven't seen him around."

"I'm yet to start for the upcoming semester next week so, figures," Yongguk said.

Himchan wanted to spew at the whole irony of the situation. How was he so gullible not to expect that fate might toy with him in the near future? He assumed that he and Yongguk will never get to see each other again after the break-up, at least not this way in which the barriers being held back's blatant and staring right at them in the face.

Daehyun told Yongguk the reason why Himchan needed a new apartment and Yongguk was just nodding at everything casually as if they're not talking about his ex-boyfriend's plans to move in the same dorm as he was in and Himchan had a slight urge to scream at his face and ask him if he's intentionally being stupid.

"Well whatever you guys decide on, there would always a spare bedroom here," Yongguk said dismissively, giving Daehyun a small pat in the back before they bid their goodbyes and take cares and see you laters.

Himchan made his way back to the lobby elevator alongside Daehyun with one conclusion, "I'd rather live in the streets."

Two days later, Himchan was frowning as he helped Daehyun move his last box of belongings inside his new bedroom all the way from the apartment complex's front parking.

Himchan huffed as he collapsed on the unmade bed after placing the last carton on top of another in the middle of the room. He fidgeted with his fingers, eyeing everything with outward negligence.

"We're done!" Daehyun announced with a wide smile as he clapped off the dust in his hands. "Should we stuff your clothes in the cabinet now?"

"I really wish I am as excited as you are," Himchan deadpanned.

Daehyun sighed, walking over to his boyfriend. He took both of Himchan wrists, trying to pull him up but the latter wouldn't budge.

"Come on, Channie," Daehyun pouted. "Let's just work it out this way for a few short months, it couldn't be that bad. It's still better than living in the streets."

Himchan shook his head in disapproval.

"What's bothering you?" Daehyun went to sit beside his boyfriend. "Is it him?"

Himchan shrugged. "He pisses me off. And what's worse―it might be mutual. What if he hits me?"

Daehyun scoffed. "You know Yongguk better than anyone else, Himchan."

"That's what I thought three years ago."

"You just missed him."

Himchan looked at Daehyun (and didn't miss the hint of jealousy in his face.) "Don't give me that crap, Dae," He said. "Because even though I've been fighting the temptation to break your nose for days you're still the one I want to live with."

(Because being far from Daehyun made the seconds tick slower and the hours uninteresting.

But aside from that, Himchan actually felt like there was a bomb in his chest that could explode anytime soon and ignite a fire he had long extinguished before, and that could either be good or bad.)

Daehyun chuckled and curtly pinched his boyfriend's nose. "You always get me with these cheesy lines."

"I'm serious, though." Himchan rubbed his now reddening snitch.

"I know." Daehyun sighed. "That's why I'm going to visit you a lot lot lot to the point that you'd get tired of me." He promised, pushing the hair out of Himchan's eyes with a free hand, smiling the same smile he'd show Himchan whenever he tells him that everything's going to be fine.

Himchan was pretty sure it wasn't.

"So how long have you been dating?" Yongguk blurted out from the kitchen as Himchan was descending backwards from the main door after sending Daehyun off with a sullen face. (He won't see him again until the end of the week and a few hugs and kisses just weren't enough.)

"S―" since you left. "Uh―for a while," Himchan replied stiffly. He stood about a meter or two away from the door and stayed there just dumbly staring when he realized what Yongguk was actually asking.

(He couldn't believe he was actually left in a long-term awkward situation with an ex-boyfriend as a roommate.

What a life.)

"To be honest I wasn't that surprised to see you guys in my doorstep hand in hand the other day," Yongguk continued as he shuffled back and forth in the kitchen, talking like he was only pointing out today's weather condition. "Like I knew you'd end up with each other somehow."

Oh wow, Himchan thought.

He was reminded of the time back then when the simplest interaction between him and Daehyun would make Yongguk furious, and he almost wanted to laugh at how pathetic Yongguk sounded right now but decided against it. "Me too," He said. (And he hoped he sounded just as casual.)

Since then, carrying out a normal conversation didn't become their thing. Basically since Himchan couldn't even look at Yongguk straight in the eye what more keep up with a small exchange and actually reply consistently.

Himchan stayed inside his room arranging the rest of his stuff for the remainder of the day and it was already dawn when he decided to come out for a night shower. Only to have Yongguk almost beat him to the bathroom.

Yongguk already had his hand on the doorknob when Himchan stepped out next to him, towel hanging on his shoulder.

Yongguk stepped backward. "Oh, you go ahead, sorry I―"

"No," Himchan said. "Uh―I was going to get a cup of coffee first anyway―so―in you go."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Well―then―coffee's in the cupboard." Yongguk nodded toward the direction of the kitchen before moving inside the bathroom.

Living with Yongguk was like that most of the time―just a rolling ball of awkward situations―especially back during the first week of them living together (again.)

Moments when they accidentally come to the living room at the same time to watch TV, when they brush past each other as they squeezed back and forth in the kitchen preparing their own food, when they come out of their bedrooms at the same time in the morning and catch sight of each other's unruly faces―the whole set-up was just making Himchan wish that he could dig a hole in the ground and hide there forever.

If it wasn't for school, Himchan was pretty sure he'd loose his head trying to avoid Yongguk, or at least trying to be invisible from him for the rest of the day. The situation wasn't half as bad in the university but considering the consciousness he had that Yongguk was roaming around the same campus he is in, didn't quite help.

As usual, Himchan was the one in the traditional side of the music major while Yongguk's in the modern music border. They didn't share any classes, which was a good thing for Himchan.

Yongguk, as Himchan observed, didn't seem to have any issues with the both of them living together and took everything normally, offhandedly. He would ask Himchan how he had been for the past three years they hadn't seen each other, and Himchan would try to smile as he shared tidbits of what had happened―excluding how he mourned when Yongguk left.

Yongguk seemed so relaxed while Himchan's struggling to adjust to this thing whatever it's called. And in some way, somewhere in the back of his head Himchan considered this as an insult.

(Because Yongguk wasn't sorry Yongguk wasn't sorry Yongguk wasn't sorry.)

As each day passed, Himchan decided that soon enough he'd be as apathetic as Yongguk was and it wouldn't be a big deal for him any more. Soon enough, everything would go smoothly for the both of them―just two old friends sharing a dorm.

Boy, he didn't know how wrong he was.