Himchan started to have a crush on Yongguk back during high school.

He expected—he believed—that those feelings would never develop into something even deeper, that he would never cross the thick line that separated his emotions from reality.

But it did anyway.

It was back during high school when such frivolous feelings always seemed to be very confusing yet strong in some certain manner. Back during high school when he was pretty much convinced that he was masculine in every single aspect but his ty feelings said otherwise. Back during high school when his sentiments were on their worst because he liked Yongguk as much as he tried to deny it, and he knew Yongguk will never like him back despite of how the other's actions said a lot (a real lot)—it was impossible because that's not how society worked and he wanted himself to stop from feeling that way for Yongguk because it was ing stupid, and unfortunately in Himchan's case, it hurt too.

It hurt enough that he arrived to the realization that he wasn’t as straight as he thought he was with how he's having feelings for someone. It hurt more because the way Yongguk treated him brought up false, unnecessary hope and made him feel further miserable.

It was then after a few mounds of self-loathing and hatred that he decided not to tell anyone in hopes that his feelings would change soon enough.

Yongguk was one of these abominably popular kids in high school who always had an entourage with him wherever he went. He was in the music department (like Himchan) and took up specialization in rapping (unlike Himchan.) And as much as the guy liked playing around and not seeming to be taking his studies seriously, it was a tremendously different situation when it came to music and rapping as noticed by Himchan. Yongguk—much to the other's surprise since Himchan would've never thought that a goofy face like that could be so expressive and elaborate—made his own music and performed them during campus programs as to how he was always on the receiving end of appraisal because of his undeniable talent and—with a cringe and mental punch in the face the moment Himchan realized he approved Yongguk had—good looks.

When Himchan was a new student back during their sophomore year, he had labeled Yongguk under the classification of 'annoying' without second thought. Yongguk was annoying because attention seemed to be on his tail everywhere he may be (which was the reason why Himchan found out what his name a little too earlier than necessary), he was annoying because he would chortle loudly at the lamest jokes his group of friends would crack whenever girls are around, he was annoying because he liked taking off his blazer and tugging his sleeves up to his elbow and popping out the first two buttons of his uniform's shirt and as much that wasn't supposed to be distracting Himchan, it grievously was.

But moreover, Yongguk was especially on the seventy seventh level of annoying because he used to appear out of thin air next to Himchan in random situations on random intervals when the latter never expected to have even the briefest of interactions with the guy in the first place anyway.

The first time this happened was during his first week in school on a one free period. Himchan was hovering over his desk, quietly writing down in his notebook while trying to ignore the weighty looks people were giving him from time to time (because he was the new kid, and it kinda .) He was Definitely not an introvert with a capital D. He was just waiting for himself to adjust properly to his new environment so he'd be comfortable enough to mesh with the people in it and to attempt on friendships.

He tried to manage a snobbish front just so people would keep away from him until he could be the one to start initiating a conversation—apparently, one person didn't seem to get it.

"Nice penmanship," an oddly deep and raspy voice said, sending a shrill of shock down Himchan's spine.

He sat upright, startled, because the voice was right next to his ear in which then he literally had to prevent himself from jumping straight out of his seat because the owner of the voice was just right next to his ear.

Yongguk was apparently standing behind Himchan's chair, leaning in so that he could take a closer look on Himchan's notes over his shoulder. Himchan stared at the other wide-eyed, trying to scoot back with what little space his seat had left because the proximity of their faces was just half a ruler away and it was profoundly uncomfortable in Himchan's humble opinion.

Yongguk blankly stared back at him at first but bursted into a low chuckle when he noticed the latter's reaction. "Sorry, did I startle you?" He finally stood straight, poking Himchan on a chubby cheek once. "Your name’s Himchan, right?"

Himchan blinked at him.

Yongguk waited, his smile stiffening.

3 seconds... 4 seconds... 5?

"Um," Yongguk drawled awkwardly, a minute look of disappointment on his face for not gaining a more probable reaction from the new kid. "You, uh, you spelled literature wrong." He pointed down at Himchan's desk where his notebook was and Himchan brought his gaze back on his table, scanning the page to look for the error.

When he looked back up, Yongguk was already amongst his friends goofing around again and Himchan wondered if his brain was just being dysfunctional and Yongguk didn't really come next to his seat to attempt a conversation.

But, as it turned out, lytereture wasn't a word.

The second incident was when Himchan was in front of the lockers stuffing his school junk in as the dismissal bell rang off and the hallways were starting to get flooded with students coming out of random classrooms.

A minute into sorting out his things, the vague realization that his History notebook was nowhere to be found came.

He was already considering to make a run for it to go back to all the classrooms he's been in to find his missing notebook when a finger poked on his cheek once.

"Hey, looking for this?" Yongguk swiftly moved in Himchan's line of sight—next to him, leaning on the lockers with one hand on his pocket and the other waving a thick yellow notebook in front of his face. "I found it on the desk I was sitting on during my History class."

Himchan just stared at him stupidly (again) like he was the ultimatum of all algebraic equations.

Yongguk offered him a wide grin anyway and placed the other's notebook inside his opened locker for him. "You're welcome." he nudged dismissively without losing the grin before trudging ahead, leaving a rather stunned Himchan in the almost-deserted school corridor.

The third situation where they finally, almost formally introduce themselves was when Himchan was out in the school garden grounds. He was sitting under a shade of a cherry blossom tree, studying his music sheets while his earphones played music from the phone in his pocket. Students were sprawled around him, playing and chatting and throwing glances his way that could be counted as being really observant or really judgmental but during that moment, Himchan really wasn't bothered much. He was at peace and he emphatically wished that no one will ever disturb him which he probably thought too soon because a shadow appeared next to his just then.

He looked up and almost sighed in annoyance.

"Hi," Yongguk greeted, his face plastered with the same all-too-happy grin that impossibly took up half of his face.

Instead of replying, Himchan just looked back down at his music sheets, adjusting his earphones and trying to pull on his best I-am-pretty-preoccupied-at-the-moment-to-bother-with-human-intercommunication demeanor. But on a somehow phony lifelong misfortune of a Kim Himchan, it didn't work.

Yongguk squatted down.

Reached out his fingers to Himchan's face.

And poked his cheek once.

And of course that caught Himchan's undivided attention, he looked up and met Yongguk's eye smiling gaze.

"Are you really this anti-social? Because you've been here for, like, more than a week and I haven't heard you say anything," Yongguk said. "And please stop staring at me like I'm some sort of saint whenever I talk to you because you have really nice eyes and being its object of attention kinda freaks me out."

Himchan narrowed his eyes on the other in what he hoped would be a definite conveyance of scrutiny this time. He wondered if putting up senseless conversations with people was listed under Yongguk's favorite pastime hobbies (which, in Himchan's case was listed under the Things That Annoy Me To No End.) "I am not an anti social. And don't flatter yourself, I'm just actually intensely judging your every move."

Yongguk's eyes widened at him funny which made Himchan's ears feel hot in some sort of embarrassment. "You actually talked!"

"I am not mute." Himchan scoffed, irritated. "Now will you please move along to wherever you're heading because—"

"I was going to be convinced you are mute. You've got a really cute voice though."

Himchan frowned at the guy in front of him because where is this talk heading to. Either Yongguk was just being sarcastic or provoking because there was clearly nothing cute about how Himchan was snapping at him and for pete's sakes, he's got a voice of a trucker (which abhorrently contrasted his feminine physique.)

"Say more." Yongguk urged, nodding at him as if Himchan's ability to speak overly fascinated him the way it would to see a giraffe on the loose.

Wow, this guy sure has a way of getting on your nerves, Himchan thought. He removed his earphones from his ears and sighed in resignation. "I'm Kim Himchan."

Yongguk smiled at him. "I'm Bang Yongguk."

Himchan slowly nodded his head, eyeing the space between the other's eyes so his blinding smile won't distract him. "I know."

"You know?" Yongguk raised an eyebrow questioningly, counterfeiting small surprise.

"You told me I spelled literature wrong and returned my missing History notebook? I've been aware." Himchan shrugged. "You're the talk of the town."

Yongguk adjusted himself so he was now sitting on the grass opposing Himchan. "So, that means we're friends now?" He asked, looking at Himchan expectantly, leaning in a little closer.

"No," came Himchan's immediate response.

"Post-greeting pals?"

"No."

"Pre-buddies?"

"No."

"Acquaintances?"

"You know what," Himchan said. "I'm hungry, buy me something from the cafeteria then maybe we can be friends."

"With benefits?"

"If by benefits, you're referring to food and not Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis, I'm in." Himchan stumbled up from the ground, hugging his music sheets as he trudged toward the direction of the cafeteria.

Yongguk hurried next to him. "Was that an innuendo for a suggestion?"

Himchan flushed minutely, blindly making a violent grab at Yongguk and failing miserably as the other ran past him, laughing wildly.  

Somehow, Himchan managed to abruptly catch up to Yongguk (who yelped and flailed) and shoved him aside (almost having him to crash dive on a row of sunflowers.) And somehow, they had ended up in the school cafeteria, gobbling up unclassily with thrown insults and shoves in the head.

That's basically how their friendship started kicking off. It was an improbable start—but Himchan learned later on that everything was technically going to be improbable with Yongguk. They weren't friends in a way that they hung around each other all the time—because Himchan would rather be alone than to be with Yongguk's group of loud friends—but they managed to get rid of the awkwardness and the closeness developed, considering that they had four classes together and Yongguk always sat beside Himchan (and they tended to get scolded a lot for trying to shove their pens up each other's nostrils during most class discussions.)

He learned more and more about Yongguk each day: how he's overly active in school talent competitions, how he didn't like taking notes in class, he's not interested in any other school subject save for his Music and P.E. (would doze off if it wasn't), he had a habit of biting his lips, he had a habit of poking Himchan's cheek every time they'd meet, had a habit of acting like a total doofus, he'd stay in the music room all by himself during free periods (until a certain time when Yongguk went up to Himchan and was like Hey, wanna hang out in the music room? and it kinda sorta became their routine since then.)

It actually surprised Himchan how well he and Yongguk got along since he'd never been so fairly comfortable with anyone else but it sure helped him become more communal.

Apparently, Himchan had a surefire social butterfly potential. He slowly expanded his social circle through the span of his sophomore year—finally getting rid of his elitist facade so now he had people to sit with during lunch breaks and kids to hang out with during the weekends.

Yongguk was still appearing during very unexpected intervals when they couldn't be around each other—like how he barged in Himchan's Computer class just to borrow a pen and how he'd casually trot over his table in the cafeteria just to dip some fries on his mayonnaise. And these actions amused Himchan somehow, unknowingly growing very fond of Yongguk. He had also learned that Yongguk was humongously touchy—like how he'd just randomly grab Himchan's hand while they're walking down the hallway on the way to their next class together and how he'd give the other back hugs and stupid grins whenever Himchan admired himself in the comfort room mirror. Himchan had never really paid attention as to whether Yongguk would just turn into this fluffball whenever they're around each other but it's the words and verbal affection he couldn't seem to stand.

Himchan grew quite popular enough for the kids in campus to give him presents and chocolates (that would be found on his table at random class periods) and candies (that would somehow make its way inside his locker) and fresh flowers (that would greet him in the morning) and sometimes even literal love confessions—which he would continue to turn down with a timid thank you but I'm sorry. He really appreciated these actions but Himchan hadn't been in a relationship before and he was pretty sure he still didn't have the balls for it now.

"It's because your heart is only meant for me," Yongguk teased once when Himchan brought up the subject and gained a painful kick in the leg.

Those kinds of things (of words) were actually funny the first one hundred and seventy four attempts but overtime, it sort of started to grow on Himchan. It was for reasons such as his cheeks were beginning to flush a certain shade of pink, palms sweaty and heart beating rapidly that he was certain someone else could hear it aside from him whenever Yongguk would talk in his usual raspy deep voice.

Himchan wasn't sure how he'd call the feeling but he sorta kinda wished Yongguk would stop.

It was now the last quarter of the school year, which meant things had became further hectic—people had gotten even busier—projects and club activities and homework and assignments and research work had piled up. And although Himchan wasn't exactly the diligent type of student, these stressed him out too. Their music teacher had decided to put up a music research that involved all the students in the same field of music major, and Himchan had been grouped with Yongguk and seven other students he luckily got along pretty good enough for them to decide to do the project in Himchan's place.

They were lounging on Himchan's bedroom floor—laptops and papers and pens scattered around as they did each of their designated work, chatting and joking around on the most part, munching on the snacks prepared by Himchan's mom.

All of them tried to do their work diligently.

All of them except for... well... except for Yongguk.

The said man had been sprawled on Himchan's bed for the past thirty minutes, staring into space and not moving a limb—not even pretending he's helping out on the joint work. Himchan sighed miserably, got up from the floor to saunter toward where Yongguk was. "Yongguk, get up," Himchan pestered. "We've got deadline on Thursday."

"Your bed is nice," Yongguk said with a blank expression on his face as he continued to stare at the ceiling. "Your pillows are fluffy."

"I'm going to send my fluffy pillows flying to your face if you don't start working." Himchan threatened.

"Eh, sleep is better." Yongguk waved him off before rolling on his side—turning his back to Himchan—and hugged the pink pillow lying beside him.

Himchan was unimpressed. He started on a fit of Brutally Tugging Yongguk's Arm Without The Intention To Fracture It. "Get up, , Yongguk stop acting like you're five!"

Yongguk tried to grab his arm away from Himchan's grip but he accidentally pulled Himchan along with him and the other stumbled to fall on top of Yongguk (who was magically on his back again) with a strangled yelp. After a minute of astonishment on both sides, Yongguk chuckled, amused.

"Hehe, gotcha," He taunted mockingly, poking Himchan's cheek once before encircling his arms around the other's waist to keep him in place.

Himchan scowled as he attempted to push himself up from the sudden ambush. "Ugh," he grunted. "Yongguk—"

"Please, not while we're in the same room, you two," someone spoke up from the floor and they both paused to glance at Daehyun (one of their group mates and one of Yongguk's closest friends as well.)

Himchan made a face, a little mortified. He turned back to Yongguk, giving him a dark look as he gave off one final push up to free himself from Yongguk's ministrations. "Get up, Yongguk or I'm kicking you out," he said menacingly as he could and stood up from the bed.

"Idiot."

"Retard."