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SUNGMIN POV

"don't you dare take lightly of my feelings, Lee Sungmin" Kyuhyun intensely stared at me, I can feel anger and disappointments in his voice. Is he angry? why? But...

"You are insulting my feelings" he said then suddenly I felt lips against mine. He is kissing me, I can feel his fangs in my lips. I felt myself feeling a tingling sensation inside, like I am in a tantra or something. I never have felt something like this. Only Kyuhyun made me feel these unknown feelings to me. These feelings that are deviant to my system. Only Kyuhyun could make me react this way.

Kyuhyun was kissing me hungrily, I can feel the passion and force he has in my mouth and as much as it is in both my pain and my pleasure, I can feel myself being and feel myself getting more with the heated kiss and therefore I kissed back with the same amount he have given me.

God, I am addicted to this feeling.

Once he detached his lips from mine because he knows I need to breathe, I opened my eyes and saw those beautiful red orbs staring at me longingly and with feelings words can never even describe.

I want to kiss him again, to hug him again but I need to stop myself from doing so. Kyuhyun and I can never be together, as in Never. Not in this world or even in the afterlife, Never.

so for not making things go from bad to worst, I shouldn't let these feelings get into me.

This is for both Me and Kyuhyun.

"Sungmin, I love you very much, Please don't leave me" I heard those words from him, Each words came from his mouth with longing and pain. Oh my God. Each of those words keeps on stabbing my heart, I never knew that Loving could hurt this much, not only me but him. I have never seen a vampire this longingly caring, not like I saw any other vampire but I always thought that Kyuhyun is a cold emotionless vampire, yet I saw this side of him. So broken and shattered, like a piece of a mirror that you want to fix. I want to hug him, I don't want him to get hurt.

Kyuhyun. I'm really sorry.

"I told you stop joking, you...you are just deluding yourself and...and me, stop telling me that you like me, Stop convincing yourself with feelings we both know you don't feel for me,  Please Kyuhyun Stop, please"

Please, Kyuhyun, I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to leave you but I can't.

"Sungmin, I am not joking, I am serious about this" he said "at first I also thought that I am a heartless being, I felt no emotions, I felt no pain, no happiness, nothing and I have lived my life in that belief for so many years.  but when I met you, Everything changed.My mind turn into a big rollercoaster ride. I experience a lot of stuff, stuff that's new to me, that's different from the things I was used to from the past centuries that I lived."

He held and cupped my face, and those eyes, it turned brown again yet I can see small red glow of it, those eyes that has shades of pure love and sincerity.

"I never knew that you could give a big impact to my life, I never knew that a sick girl like you could turn me into something like this, you made me so weak and so stupid, I really hate it but I can't help it"

He keeps on talking and seriously it is seriously leaving me speechless, I don't know what to say, how to react. Kyuhyun looks like a kid pleading, as if he lost his mother, or that he is lost in this world, Like a kid who needs someone to held his hand and lead him the way towards his mom who lost her. Kyuhyun looks so vulnerable in front of me. I really want to hug him tight, so tight that he won't need anymore hug in this world for another more thousand of years.

"I know that, you might thought the reason I asked our relationship to be official is because I want you to seriously experience being in a relationship but the truth is even I didn't know myself that I want that because I want to experience REAL RELATIONSHIP with you either, even I didn't expect it, even I didn't know it will turn into this, well not until this morning..."

"this morning?" I softly said and he just nod.

"this morning when you faint and I can't wake you up, I felt like my whole world just disappeared, like it just have broken down into pieces, all shattered and I don't know what I can do, what I should do just to see you again. Lee Sungmin, do you know how worried I am, how terribly ing worried I am? that's the reason why I don't want you to overexcess yourself, that's the reason why I don't want you to get hurt, I don't want that to happened again, I thought that I am going to lose you..., I thought you are going to leave me... " he suddenly leaned head on my shoulder, his face in the crook of my neck, and it only left me speechless and my body in a rigor mortis like it doesn't want to move. "and I can't afford that" he whispered on my neck softly. I can even feel the warmness of his breath. I tried to look at him, but he snuggles closer. He hugged me tighter than before.

"Kyuhyun..." I can feel my voice stuttering, and that is all I can say to him. I don't know what to say to him. Uggghh, Stupid Lee Sungmin. You are in an important coversation with someone and you can't even come up with something nice to say.

"I could never imagine myself without you, and that is when I realized that I have fallen in love with you, I felt that what if I was too late to tell you how I feel, what if I could never tell you these words that I want to tell you, I don't want that... just for once I want to express to you how I truly feel for you, even if my feelings could only be one-sided" he continued.

I can feel the wetness in my shirt, he is crying.

And with that, my body just moved on it's own and hugged him, caressing his back, soothing him that everything will be fine, even though I know to myself that it is not. Kyuhyun is serious about what he is feeling. I am touched by this, I am deeply captivated by him. I don't want to hurt him, but if I will keep on pushing him away, It will also lead to breaking his heart and also to mine. Maybe, just like him all this time I am also in love with this extra ordinary being, but because of my sickness, I kept these feelings hidden, I ignored it, thinking that it will soon fade away but the more I try to ignore it, to push it aside, the more it bloomed into something more and  if Kyuhyun is willing to risk his self for me, loving him is only a small thing I could do to repay him. His love moved me, His love that made my life have a meaning even for a short time, and With all the time remaining that I have, I want to give it to him, every second, every minute of it. Everything. It will all be for Kyuhyun.

"I am not joking, Lee Sungmin, I really do Love you"

I hugged him tight "I know, I know, Sshhh, Kyuhyun, I know ... and I am sorry for doubting your feelings"

I lift his face up that seem to never wanting to leave my shoulder and made him look at me, God those eyes are reddish. This is the first time I saw Kyuhyun like that, and it never even once made me change my feelings for him.

"Kyuhyun, Let's eat now, I should eat my dinner and drink my medicine. Don't cry anymore okay?" I said wiping those tears away. I understand his feelings, If I am hurt in this situation of mine, what more is him? I shouldn't complain about it, because Kyuhyun is suffering more than I do. I will enjoy my remaining time with him, I will give him the love he deserve even if it's just in a short period of time.

I keep on tugging him to stand up with me but he didn't move, not even a flinch.

"Kyuhyun?" I looked at him, he still didn't look at me but I can feel the tight grip he has in my hand.

"What's wrong?" I was about to lift his head up to look at me and tell me what's wrong when he already looked straight at me.

"Sungmin, Please don't leave me" It didn't sound like a request, neither an order.

It mostly sounded like a plea. His voice huffled. He really looks so vulnerable right now, I guess even extraordinary people can be so weak when they find something they can call their own weaknesses, let alone the fact that he lived alone most of his life, leaving him no one to lean on, no one to trust on and no one to believe.

I want to just keep him in a tight embrace and protect him from the world, give him safety and love that he deserve.

We remained like that for moments I don’t know, the only thing that I know is that I was hugging him tight and he was hugging back with the same amount of force that I have for him.
 

After some time, He lifted himself up, making me to look at him. He held my hand tight and is signaling me to stand up.

“You should eat now, You need to drink your medicine” he said with a weak smile tinted in his face, but I can still see sadness in his eyes. I just nod at him and stand up.

--

All the time that I was eating the food that Kyuhyun prepared for me, he was all quiet. He was just sitting there, watching me.

I feel kinda embarrass, well you know his attention is only towards me. Observing me, but even though I felt those embarrassment in me, I feel much guiltier than before.

Knowing the fact that I am hurting this guy.

Now I know that Not all SuperNatural beings aren’t that strong as what other people may see. Even them has weaknesses and flaws. Seeing Kyuhyun so submissive and fragile a little while ago made me feel this guilt inside me. I am hurting him.

I am hurting him because he loves me.

“Kyuhyun” I called out to him and he immediately open his eyes more a little, his face still pale. “what is it?”.

“I’m sorry” I said to him.

“sorry for what?” he asked. Tsk. Don’t play dumb with me Kyuhyun. We both know what I am talking about. You just want to ignore it.

“For what happened a while ago”

“Nevermind that, I was just been preoccupied with the flow of the moment that’s why I said those words Sungmin, forget what I said, forget about my confession, forget my pleasing, forget everything”

He said those words with his cold voice and even though he said that I can feel that what he is feeling is different from what is inside him right now that’s why I took his hand and held it, which made him flinch a little.

it hurts me to see him hurting like that.

His hands are so cold, Just like how also felt when I held it for the first time. I lift his hand up and placed it at my cheek. He flinched a little again due to the warmness of my skin.

“Kyuhyun, Please don’t push me away.” I softly said while my eyes closed, feeling that cold hand on my cheek. How I wish these warmth in me could be transmitted to him. “I know at first I was the one who’s pushing you away, who’s rejecting these feelings that we know exist and already tie us both”

“what do you mean?” I heard him say, Maybe he’s confused to what I said.

But it hurts more, knowing that for myself, I know that I was also deeply captivated by him.

“I want to take this chance Kyuhyun”

“chance for what?”

I open my eyes and placed his hand on my lips. I was holding his hand tight, not wanting to let it go.

“I want to enjoy these time I have left for you, You and only you.”

“what are you talking about Sungmin,” he asked and I just smiled leaning forward he closed his eyes and I felt myself in cloud nine when I felt my lips attached to his..

I am in love with him too.

*UPDATEEEE! Christmas is coming up. ;)) Advance Merry Christmas.