Everyday I miss Yu-Min, she was my light in the dark. I hope that one day she can come back home to me, and the rest of b.a.p where she belongs. It kills me still to know that she may never remember them. But it kills me more to know that our parents and siblings don't care enough to have any contact with her.

Zelo, the poor baby, ask every single day when he see's me if Yu remembered anything from before the accident. The pained look that comes across his face is just another knife stabbing into my already dead heart.
Everyday all 5 of the members ask me about Min, and ever day I have to tell them the same news I told them before.

And every night I leave the members of b.a.p at our apartment and go to drown all my memories of my baby sister in women, alcohol and drugs. I have ended up in hospital many times, and every time it makes me feel a little bit better, cause I know that I deserve everything I get.
I almost killed the one girl who made me feel like superman. I almost killed my sister.

FLASHBACK

"Gukkie Oppa Look! I can do a cartwheel! Look Oppa!" The small 4 year old Minnie yelled at the 10 year old me.
The bright smile that I always tried to keep on her face, was there, lighting up her young eyes.
That summer day at the park I made a promise.
"Yu-Minnie, come to Oppa for a little while," 10 year old Yongguk called the small Yu-Min over.
"Yu-Min, Oppa promises to always make sure you're safe from harm. Oppa promises you that everyday you will smile," Yu-Min soon ran away to chase a butterfly.

END OF FLASHBACK

I downed another drink to rid myself of these memories that no-one but I remember. I failed to keep my promised. Yu-Min got hurt and almost died, she had cried and lost her smile for the longest time. And now I dont know whether she is smiling or crying.
It makes my life not worth living anymore if she can't remember because of my mistakes